


Then Shall I Know Even as Also I Am Known

by MistyBeethoven



Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [45]
Category: Extreme Pursuit (2013), Man of Tai Chi (2013)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Abduction, Airplane Sex, Airplanes, Anal Sex, Attraction, BBW, Boss/Employee Relationship, Breast Fucking, Burns, Captive, Captivity, Caring, Cat and Mouse, Corruption, Cowgirl Position, Cunnilingus, Dark, Dark Love Story, Dark Romance, Dark erotica, Difficult Decisions, Dubious Consent Fantasy, Dubious Science, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Face-Sitting, Falling In Love, False Identity, Fat Admirer, Fisting, Food Porn, Food Sex, For Adults Only, Freedom, Frottage, Getting to Know Each Other, Hero/Villain, Honey, Hurt/Comfort, Identity, Identity Reveal, Innocence, Inspired by Eros and Psyche (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Inspired by Hades and Persephone (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Kidnapping, Limousines, Loneliness, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Virginity, Love, Love Stories, Love/Hate, Masks, Massage, Masturbation, Mirror Sex, Mirrors, Missionary Position, Murder, Mysticism, Necrophilia, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Overweight, Penis In Vagina Sex, Playing Doctor, Poisoning, Police, Presents, Rain, Redemption, Resurrection, Rimming, Secret Identity, Seduction, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Sexual Tension, Spies & Secret Agents, Starvation, Stockholm Syndrome, Supernatural Elements, Survival, Understanding, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Fisting, Violence, Virginity, Virginity Kink, Wall Sex, Weakness, cross - Freeform, feederism, lotion, surrender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:41:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 62,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24296767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: Trying to help the Hong Kong Police Department catch the resurrected Donaka Mark, I become employed at Security System Alliance only to find myself indeed gaining the interest of my target. For Donaka is a man attracted to innocence, and the urge to corrupt it, and he can easily sense this in me.However, when Donaka reveals that he was wise to my deception all along, the man imprisons me in a room he has prepared long ago in advance for an experiment he has always desired to test. For if an innocent man can be tempted to sell his soul for survival, will a virgin, likewise, be willing to offer her body for the chance to live and be set free again after she has given in?Donaka believes he no longer needs to only theorize having found the perfect test subject: Me. Now his seduction attempts and cruelty truly come to the forefront in our game of cat and mouse.But as the weeks progress and I continue to refuse him to his mounting frustration, I begin to wonder how much longer I can hold on to my ideals and innocence. For to my horror, my body longs to surrender to my captor and I no longer know if I can resist losing my soul to Donaka Mark when I have already lost my heart.* Dead Dove Do Not Eat
Relationships: Donaka Mark/Me, Officer Suen Jing-Si & Me
Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [45]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589944
Comments: 44
Kudos: 25





	1. Reflection in a Bathroom Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. This will probably be pretty bad. Which is horrible because this is Keanu Reeves' directorial debut! It should be good! Darn it! It should be better than good; it should be wonderful! Instead it is just going to be a twisted mess of a story involving attraction and loss of innocence. With dark sexual situations scattered throughout.
> 
> It was only supposed to be a one shot too. Now unfortunately I'm making it last longer and prolonging the misery and embarrassment of the whole thing
> 
> But what can I say that is decent...
> 
> I loved this film. You did it really well, Keanu. And can I say, that Karen Mok, the actress who played Suen Jing-Si, was fantastic? She was a strong female character, I liked, that didn't fall into the regular pitfalls of some female characters. I loved her and Donaka just glaring at one another. That amused me endlessly.
> 
> And you're darn good as a villain. You know that right? A little too good. But you were just as good of a director! Actually you were better in some respects because it was your first time and you had so much to do and you did it well. You got good performances from your actors, your pacing was perfect and you had an eye for a nice image and how to work the film as a whole. Well done! :D <3
> 
> Which is more than I can say for this trashy mess. :/
> 
> There is a fair bit of my favorite fairy tale "Beauty and the Beast" in this, though. And Hades/Persephone and Eros/Psyche in Greek mythology.
> 
> And a certain part owes a lot to a Bleach UlquHime doujinshi called "Sacrifice on the Round Table" by a circle named Tricktrap. 
> 
> Oh. And also the William Friedkin directed video for Laura Branigan's "Self Control" because I saw that when I was a child and it frightened me to death. That doll...I loved dolls but they could also terrify me too. I think, though, that the video also warped me in ways I probably shouldn't have been warped in. It has that dark sexuality to it. Laura with the masked man...
> 
> Which probably gives you some idea where this story is heading...
> 
> I've embarrassed myself enough now though.
> 
> Gotta go.
> 
> Enjoy if you can and read at your own risk...

_**For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.** _

_**\- 1 Corinthians 13:12** _

_******* _

I sat in the ornate waiting room of Security System Alliance trying not to feel as if I had swallowed a mouthful of live butterflies and that they were all frantically beating around inside of my stomach in a vain attempt at escape. Ironically, I had always liked that feeling ever since I was little. Riding in elevators, or my mom taking us out for Sunday drives and travelling up and down some of the sloped hills surrounding the small Ontatio town where I had lived, had always brought this sensation on. Now it was more spiritually than physically based, though, and it was driving me crazy, making me want to run to the waiting room's entrance and flee back to my little office at SSA.

But I couldn't do that. I had given my word that I would stay and see this through.

When the secretary of the man I had been scheduled to meet with finally told me to enter, my legs felt as if they no longer wished to carry me. It was as if they had decided that the mind racing in my head was suddenly against them for taking the body it had carried all of its life towards what was likely imminent danger.

The secretary studied me through her thick rimmed glasses, watching me stumble on my sensible shoes, which were not heels so they should not have been giving me this much trouble. She did not ask if I was all right but rather almost sneered at me, as if my stumbling was a weakness. Or maybe she thought my legs had finally had enough of carrying my chubby body around and were breaking from the strain. In defiance now, they found their footing again and I walked more steadily into the office of the big boss of SSA.

His office was sparse to a degree. A couch, some squares placed on the walls with sculptures and books inside. The two things about it which struck me first was the view the large window behind the black modern desk offered of Hong Kong. The city was displayed in all of its glory, Heaven above it and the skyscrapers reaching for it down below. I was aware that I was in one such skyscraper but had already made my pleas to God before stepping into the building that day, knowing of my meeting with a man whom terrified me.

The second was that man himself; the one I had come to meet. He was sitting with his back towards all of Hong Kong as if it had lost its fascination for him after having been constantly in presentation. His attention was on me now as much as my own was on him. He had short dark hair, a color which was so deeply brown that it bordered on black. His small eyes were dark as well. He was in his late thirties or forties and the cast of his features told me that while he possessed some Asian ancestry it was not the whole of his genetic inheritance. His suit was white and his hands were folded politely in front of him.

We stared at one another across the length of his office, long after his cold secretary had left on her boss' command, studying each other as strangers often do, even though I knew him far better than he could have suspected. His stare was more bolder than mine. Unused to attention, shy and avoidant I looked to the ground breaking the stare first. When I raised my eyes once more, it was to find him still gazing at me, smugly as if he had won some contest I hadn't even known I had entered.

He was like a dragon and I suddenly felt like a goat or sheep that he might consume. Of course, that was the only reason why I was here in a way: for him to _want_ to destroy me. I was the sacrificial lamb, one whom had been promised would be spared at the end of it: able to walk away freely from the altar where I had been placed.

"Miss Heather Carlyle," he said as he finally stood and extended his hand. "I am Mr. Charles Komoto."

Neither of those were our names. Looking at his face, I knew this well.

I strolled across the office and took his extended hand. I was grateful for the fact that my palms rarely sweated. My forehead often did but rarely my hands. This man, whose birth certificate had never born the initials CK looked both shocked and oddly pleased by the strength of my handshake and the dryness of my skin.

"Please sit down," he ordered.

I did immediately and my eyes landed on the rock on the man's desk. Knowing a little about his character, I marvelled at how fitting it was in a way. Seeing what he was capable of, I thought the rock was likely the same one that he had crawled out from under.

Raising my eyes, I saw the man studying me again. "You like it?" he asked.

"Yes," I nodded.

"You want one for your desk?"

"I...I...I don't want to be an inconvenience," I mumbled.

"What inconvenience?" Komoto asked with a laugh. "It's just a rock. It isn't diamond."

I nodded and felt myself shaking again. It was hard to fight the urge to reprimand myself for it but I shouldn't feel embarrassed I tried to calm myself. _She_ had told me that the more weak and innocent I seemed the better it would be.

"You are new to both the Country and the company," he stated. "I was looking at your file. You've been here about six months with us and I had yet to greet you; I greet all the new employees."

He smiled again and I knew that he was lying. From what I had heard Charles Komoto, the man whom had taken over Security System Alliance after the death of a man named Donaka, rarely met with anybody. Infact, they also rarely hired anybody new. It had taken a great many strings to be pulled and months of planning to get me in the front door at all. Luckily, there was already another mole deep within the company who had managed it somehow. I was never told who that was exactly but I was certain that they knew my identity. Not my _real_ one, of course. The less we knew of each other the better. Both of our focus was to remain on the man in charge of the company. And how to bring him down.

"You do good work," he commented, his brown eyes unreadable.

Was he lying to me?

Training me so I would look somewhat adept in this position had also taken some time and patience. If I could do it, it was logical that anybody off of the street could also. For that was practically what I was: chosen off of the street in order to be difficult for him to trace and mark for what I truly was.

"Thank you," I said politely. "But if I do...why did you want to see me?"

His eyes remained on me. He did not blink nor did they give anything away in their depths which seemed like oblivion. "Just to commend you on the job you are doing..."

I could sense the 'and' before his lips formed the solitary syllable.

"And to ask why you haven't gone through with the prerequisite physical."

It was the physical which had done it. Strange, I thought, that personally trying to avoid that one single embarrassing task had gotten me the first major breakthrough in my mission at SSA.

There was really no reason for me not to tell the truth to him. It could never be discovered to be a lie and thus betray me. Nor did I need to worry about it giving the real reason I was there away. It was my fear and my shame and had little to do with anything else.

"I was embarrassed and scared," I confessed. "I've never had one before."

The man whom was not Charles Komoto looked strangely excited then. My confession had moved his impassive face into a brief flash of interest. I knew then that what I had been told all those months ago in the Hong Kong Police Department was true: the monster before me fed on innocence and fear.

Then the inhuman, or rather, all _too_ human, emotion was gone and he was back to his normal detachment as he opened a drawer on his desk.

"There are first times for everything," he said matter of factly and then fired a sheet of paper at me.

"Take it," he ordered. "It's my private Doctor; not the company one. She's quite good. You'll have no need to worry. Go on Friday morning. I'm afraid you can't come back and work here until it is completed; it goes against SSA's rules."

I so badly wanted to tell him, ask him, that weren't those rules created by a madman and a monster? But I couldn't. It was important that he believe I was a foreigner and did not know much about the company where I worked or the man whom had started it. Even what he looked like.

Gazing down at the sheet of paper, I saw an address written and the appointment already made.

"You arranged it before I even said yes?" I asked in disbelief at his arrogance and he looked momentarily pleased by this too.

"If you said no, I'd just have cancelled it. As I said, it's my Doctor. I pay her well enough. You can have the rest of the week off, with pay, Miss _Carlyle_ ," he stated.

When he said that false name again, the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I felt not just that somebody had stepped on my grave but that they had waltzed on it too. I stood up from the chair, nodded again and headed back towards the door.

"I'll talk to my secretary about that rock," Komoto remarked as I reached it. "It was a pleasure to meet you."

I turned to look at him. His eyes were on my ass and I shuddered involuntarily, kicking myself figuratively as I nodded at him from over my shoulder, for he was meant to look at me like that and I was meant to be scared by it.

I tried to look that way.

I honestly did.

But why then was I also vaguely excited and aroused as I rushed out of his office door?

* * *

Before I went home, I made the phone call I needed to. I couldn't make it from home. There was no telling if my phone had been bugged let alone the apartment. I had already received a statue from SSA. This one was not the one of Guan Gong as Tiger Chen Linhu had been sent, I had been told. My one had been of a Miko, a Shrine Maiden. A model of purity. She sat on my shelf watching me whenever I returned home, telling those whom had sent her to me of my daily routine when I was out of the office.

I returned home before going to my second meeting of the day. In the shower for over thirty minutes, I tried to wash away with too warm of water the way I had felt after catching my boss' eyes on my back. I only half succeeded. If I had used cold water, however, it would have made me feel dirtier in a way. Another acknowledgment that I had been turned on by the man's stare besides my repulsion.

Stepping out from the shower, I tried to avoid looking at myself in the full length mirror until I had wrapped a towel around my overweight body. Afterwards, though, I walked towards it and wiped away the steam. A woman stared back at me with confusion in her widely spaced and large eyes. They were torn between being green or gray; just as her hair was torn between being brown or auburn. It depended on the outfits she wore or the light of the sun or the lighting provided in the room. Or simply the clothes that she chose to wear. Her nose was larger and her lips thin. She thought of herself as pretty sometimes and other times not so much.

"What do you think are you doing, Erin?" I asked her.

The image I saw in the mirror was me at the same time it wasn't. It was reversed, I knew. It struck me as suddenly odd that usually the only time that I saw myself it wasn't completely right, that I didn't truly see my real self. It struck me as strange then too that those around me saw my face, my body, more than I ever did. And the same could be said with me with them.

Probably for the best, I thought, as I turned and walked away from the woman that I saw in the mirror as she turned and did likewise from me.

I wouldn't like myself any better if I was forced to see the real me.

But Donaka _had_ seen something he had liked.

And this caused me to be happy when I knew that I shouldn't be.

If I hadn't seen the photographs months ago would I be so torn? No. I would have only been blissfully ignorant and pleased that the man had been staring at me sexually.

For I could acknowledge then that he would have normally attracted me if I didn't know who and what he _really_ was.

* * *

The little yakiniku restaurant where I was told to meet with my intended party was horrible and thus far away from anybody's interest that worked at SSA. I sat at the most inconspicuous tables and waited for the woman to show up. When she did, I found it for both of our best interests if I told her my news as quickly as possible and then got out of there.

"It was _him_ ," I said. "Charles Komoto _is_ Donaka Mark."

Superintendent Suen Jing-Si nodded solemnly, having known this already. "Good. Now all we have to do is bust his sorry ass. And if he gets shot along the way, hope that he stays dead this time around."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A kind reader named EdgelordinBlack suggested that Danako be a dragon like Keanu Reeves' Chinese horoscope, so I referenced that in a subtle way. Thanks so much!
> 
> I also put my own one in there too: Goat.
> 
> Dragon and Goat (Sheep)
> 
> Two mismatched horoscopes or complimentary ones depending on which astrologer you are reading. Same goes with Virgo and Pisces.


	2. The Reflected Face of a Frightened Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I relate how Suen Jing-Si enlisted me to help the Hong Kong Police Department capture the twice resurrected Donaka Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda want to get to the main part of this story but I need some exposition first. Sigh. :/

I hadn't come to China to be a spy, mole, plant or whatever you chose to call it. That certainly was not in my plans at all when I first came here to visit a friend. Just visiting a friend; that's allthat I had planned. The only problem was that this particular friend was cousins with a young female Superintendent on the Hong Kong Police Department named Suen Jing-Si.

And that this woman hated a man named Donaka Mark to the point where it had become an obsession.

I guess, by this point, Donaka had just become the poison in her blood. He was like any old shot of alcohol or a dose of nicotine only he didn't make her high like any drug but only served in frustrating her. Every intake of breath into her lungs or beat of her heart only seemed to be made in the hope of taking down a man whom had already escaped her twice in the most eerie of ways possible, I was soon to learn.

When she sat at the table eating with my friend and his family, I didn't know any of this nor the reason why she kept looking at me oddly. At first, I thought she was either a xenophobe or a lesbian but couldn't quite make the choice between the two. I was sort of hoping for the first because I didn't possess one homosexual bone in my overweight body and having to turn down and escape the undesired attention of the cousin of my best friend would kind of make my stay with him awkward in a way I had not planned on.

I was relieved and confused when my friend approached me after dinner and told me that Suen Jing had implored him to inquire of me if I would be interested in doing a small favor for the Hong Kong Police Department. Eternally grateful that her interest in me was professional and not personal, I all too eagerly said, yes, and anything.

Anything at all.

* * *

At the Police Department the woman showed me photograph after photograph of a man she told me was named Donaka Mark. She then proceeded to show me photograph after photograph of his many victims as well. Not all of the men and women in the pictures, she told me, had been killed by Donaka himself. All of them had been killed in some way due to the man's influence though. He lived to corrupt and cause violence by his own highly skilled hands or by the hands of those he recruited.

As I stared at one of the black and white images of the businessman, whom I had been informed ran a company called Security System Alliance and was the wealthiest man in Hong Kong, Suen Jing-Si explained in perfect English how the man possessed a few favorite hobbies besides his legitimate profession. He stole and fenced jewels, sold drugs, ran some whorehouses and, more to his passion, he ran several illegal fight clubs throughout China. It seemed that Donaka enjoyed choosing certain fighters and attempting in turning them into killers, going against their own innate morality. Some could not be tainted while others fell remarkably quickly.

Staring at the dark eyes of Donaka Mark, eyes that could not possibly see me but I felt as if they were gazing back all the same, I could believe her words even without the proof she had shown me. The man in the photographs was handsome but his eyes were dark and compassionless holes which for all the world seemed dead. Usually such men went to extremes in their existence to feel any sort of life at all. When she had told me that he seemed to target the innocent it was merely one more revelation that failed to surprise. Evil was attracted to innocence as anything was to that which it did not possess.

I placed the photograph down before I ended up shivering, an action which seemed horribly cliched and a little too revelatory in itself. "Who is this?" I asked, my eyes landing on the image of a man in a suit of black with a mask in a shade which matched, concealing his identity.

"We don't know," Suen Jing confessed. "He was Donaka Mark's personal killer: his foremost executioner. The man sent in to exterminate those whom presented problems or loose ends. Tiger Chen Linhu, the man whom helped us take down Donaka Mark would never tell us whom it was behind the mask. Linhu said there are some secrets the soul urges us to keep."

Lifting up the photograph of the masked man to take a closer look, my hand stopped halfway from my face, which wore a look of confusion. I could see it reflected in the mirror behind the Superintendent's desk just as I saw the masked man inches from my own unmasked face. We both seemed to be looking at the woman in that instant but Donaka's personal executioner looked far more knowledgeable than I did. My own caucasian and childlike face seemed more like the proverbial a stranger in a strange land then ever before as I asked, "But...If this Tiger helped you catch this man before, why do you still need my help?"

The woman seemed to shift uncomfortably in her chair and I felt the first sting of the fear linked to my own survival. For, indeed, I realized that it was the first time she had betrayed a sign that she was not made of steel and ice. Having come to look at her as the person I must rely on to fulfill the favor requested of me this sign of weakness was suddenly disturbing.

The woman assumed an air of confidence but it now seemed as much of a mask as the one the man was wearing in the photograph I was still holding. "He died. Tiger killed him just as Donaka wanted him to. Problem is, Donaka Mark had already died once before. The bastard finds it difficult to stay dead."

* * *

It seemed that the time Tiger Chen had killed him outside of the Ling Kong temple was not the only time that the head of SSA had died. The woman told me of how once after Donaka had killed their master a group of martial arts students had sought revenge on the businessman, first by stealing from him, then by blowing up the studio he had entered in order to confront them.

It had sounded good on paper: blow up a building with your enemy inside and know that if Humpty Dumpty, a man made of eggshell, couldn't be put back together again that it was highly unlikely that a man made of flesh, bone, blood and organs could rebuild himself either. The only problem was that Donaka Mark had shown up to work a week later without a single scar on his body or a visible stitch of where he had been sewn back up. That was when the HKPD had resorted to the use of a mole in his illegal fight clubs. This had failed and then Tiger had tried his hand at it, a move which had seemed successful only to turn into another failure when Donaka's body had disappeared from the morgue and SSA had stayed in business despite the head of its founding serpent having been severed.

"We need to lure him out," the woman told me somberly. "We suspect that he's been hiding back at his company under the alias Charles Komoto."

"And what am I exactly?" I asked. 

"The bait," she finally revealed. "We suspect Donaka's interests in corrupting innocence is not reserved for his fight clubs. We have heard rumors about where else he was placing his attention before his supposed demise. Although we have been searching for the right woman to place into SSA to entice him to reveal himself, we have been unsuccessful. Until you."

Reading the doubt on my face, she had been coaxed into a deeper explanation. I supposed that it was a shared understanding between two women of the insecurities most of us held and the inherent disbelief we could feel in ourselves and our attractiveness. "Donaka has previously shown an interest in foreign women of a larger size. The smaller type tends to break too easily for his liking it seems. Your body is that of a woman's but your face is almost like that of a young girl's. While fortunately Donaka Mark's tastes do not run in that direction, one of his few virtues, that innocence will still appeal to him. He feeds on innocence and fear and you seem to possess both. I saw it all through the dinner we shared. You will also not be easily traceable here. You have no relatives and your only contact is my cousin. For Donaka to lower his guard we need someone that has little history save for the one we can create and then impose on her. All which remains is your consent. Do you agree to help us?"

I frowned and looked down at the photographs in front of me on the desk. The one of Donaka lay beside the one of his hired killer. The two men lay on top of a vast pile of those whom they had murdered. The faces of the dead, whom stayed dead unlike Donaka Mark, stared up at me as if in wordless pleading to help them. At the same time, Mark gazed at me with his eyes so devoid of anything resembling warmth, daring me to try to even attempt to make their deaths not be in vain when for all the world it appeared that he could never even truly die.

Raising my own vision, my eyes caught and held those of the woman with the face that looked younger than she actually was. She stared back at me in fear, her green eyes wide and haunted, forever prepated to carry the faces of Donaka Mark's victims with her in her mind if she did not try to avenge them. I saw her mouth open and heard a single word emerge:

"Okay."

* * *

For months they trained me. I was taught how to do the required job which would be opening at Security System Alliance when they gave their man inside of the company the proper notice. I was even taught enough of the language to get by although the sound of it on my tongue was hardly impressive. An apartment in the city along with a new wardrobe and look was provided and I soon fell into the identity of a woman named Heather Carlyle with surprising ease. A girl named Erin vanished other than in the Hong Kong Police Department and inside my own thoughts where I always remembered and knew exactly whom I was.

Once I met with Tiger Chen. He surprised me with his stature while I took him off guard with my weight. I could see the look exchanged between he and Si. 

"Her? Donaka? Really?"

The Superintendent just nodded, urging the man to tell me all that he thought was pertinent. The thing which stayed with me the most was Chen's description of the room where he initially fought. There was a mirror which when broken showed that it had been where Donaka and a crew had been watching and filming him the whole time.

Besides my mission itself, the most disturbing piece of information came when Suen Jing-Si informed me that they would be surgically placing a microchip inside of my inner thigh.

"We can trace you then if something goes wrong," the woman stated.

Now sitting across from her after my first meeting with Charles Komoto (whom was really Donaka Mark after all) my hand was rubbing the area absently which hid the chip as my mind raced through all of the _many_ ways this whole thing could, in fact, go _very_ wrong.

"I'm supposed to see his personal Doctor for a physical on Friday," I stated my voice trembling. "He said that it was mandatory at SSA. Does everybody get to see his personal physician?"

The Superintendent's shock at the information was obvious and I could tell that whatever Donaka had arranged for me had already veered from any past set routine with his other employees. "Do you know why he wants me to see her?"

Suen Jing contemplated it for a moment and then answered back with a theory which did not make me feel in any way relieved. "Something the company Doc wouldn't usually do...Check for STDs or anything else which would make him lose interest or spoil the vision he's forming of you. Checking to see how healthy you are for what he has planned."

I exhaled sharply but Suen Jing-Si was already looking at her watch. "I'd better leave," she announced.

She was out of her chair and the question which had been running through my mind was likewise out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"What exactly do you _think_ he has planned for me?" I asked.

I didn't like the question. It was too vague, too unknown...too dangerously sexual.

"Don't worry," Suen Jing told me confidently before she hurried away. "You are _never_ going to have to find out."


	3. Reflection in Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I visit Donaka Mark's Doctor and receive several gifts upon returning to SSA.

My meeting with Donaka's private physician was just about as awkward has I had assumed. But then again I rarely had encountered a visit to the Doctors which didn't hold some level of associated anxiety. Dr. Zhao Yifei was around my age but possessed lavendar dyed hair and a pair of glasses which formerly had been linked with grandfathers but were appearing more and more these days perched on the ends of young women's noses. She was attractive but then I hadn't expected any woman that Donaka Mark would pay to examine his body to be anything but. I was put through several excercises and I think I shocked her with my ability to perform them relatively easily and without fatigue in spite on my weight. Though these weren't exactly fun they were far more pleasant than the physical examination aspect of the physical itself.

The woman spent a little too much time between my legs and I remembered Suen Jing's theory that she had probably been instructed to look for signs of promiscuity, or anything similar, which would put a dampener on Donaka's interest in me.

"You are intact," Zhao Yifei commented. "Tell me, Ms. Carlyle, are you a virgin?"

I had been expecting the question but had not even revealed the answer to the Superintendent about the depth of my lack of experience. While I was deliberating on how honest I should be, the Doctor studied my pensive and embarrassed face. "Hymens are not generally a concrete way to tell," she added emotionlessly. "Some women break theirs by doing certain activities, gymnastics, bike and horse riding. While other women's, sexually active ones, hymens are elasticized so they do not tear. Still, for the most part, they can indicate whether or not..."

"I'm a virgin," I confessed, getting it over with quickly. I could hide the fact and hope that Donaka's interest in me would lessen because of a lie but that was why I had met him in the first place: so he would be interested in me. Otherwise our paths would likely have never crossed. He was wealthy, diabolical, confident and as smooth as the water on a lake on a day that saw no breeze. I was poor, innocent, shy, insecure and as emotionally turbulent as the sky before a storm. Our existences were so vastly different, like a human variant of the symbol for yin and yang, that it was no wonder on the day we had met in his office it had left me feeling deeply disturbed afterwards.

Disturbed and aroused.

"Well that sees to my question regarding birth control," Zhao Yifei stated as if this had been her sole concern. "Mr. Komoto does not seek out female employers whom have their eyes set on motherhood. Maternity pay does not go back into SSA or its effort to get back on its feet after Donaka Mark's death."

She removed her white gloves almost cautiously and turned away and I knew that the examination had been completed. I was shocked, however, when the woman did not discard the gloves but placed them almost reverently in an odd and elaborately decorated red and gold box on a counter under her cabinets instead of the waste bin.

"Did you know Donaka Mark?" I inquired as I sat up.

"A little," she replied as if she could not care less.

"Can I get dressed now?"

A consent given with the same lack of enthusiasm. As I dressed, I saw myself naked in a mirror on the other side of the examing room and cringed, avoiding my eyes instantly.

"Mr. Komoto instructed that he desires you back at the office this afternoon, at 1:30 to be precise. You shall see him first to let him know that you have returned."

"I take it that I'm relatively fine then?" I asked.

She nodded her lavendar topped head. "We will need to wait for the results of the blood tests but...I think it is safe to say, that besides needing to lose some weight, you are suprisingly healthy."

I frowned a little about the comment about needing to lose weight. The mirror had told me as much; I didn't need to hear it from her too. It wasn't like I had not spent most of my life already trying. Besides that, though, I was happy it was over.

Fully dressed, outside and free, I looked at my watch and saw that I had thirty minutes less than two hours before I needed to return to SSA and meet with Donaka. My overlarge tummy was grumbling, informing me that lunch was a good idea so I listened to it and headed to whichever place would satisfy my hunger first. A little guiltily I realized thay I could afford a higher class restaurant than I normally could have, which was probably convenient given that Zhao Yifei's office was in a wealthy part of Hong Kong. Still I would be using my earnings from SSA to fund the meal and those earnings came from Donaka Mark.

The man I was helping to take down.

He might have held no conscience about betrayl but I did.

Sighing and heading into the first restaurant I saw which seemed to require no reservation, I thought to myself that it was just another way in which we were different. The evil felt no remorse for the pain they caused those whom were good; while those whom had hearts suffered even the pain they caused the damned.

* * *

Back at SSA and waiting to be told I could see Charles Komoto, I wondered why life seemed an endless string of events to be nervous over. The physical now finished, my heart was once again racing in fear over meeting with Donaka and I couldn't wait until I was back at my desk, doing the work which I had been trained to do very well and which I almost had a natural affinity for.

"Fine. Go in," the secretary instructed with her usual coolness and I walked in to the office dressed in yet another reserved outift that Suen Jing had chosen for me.

Donaka's eyes were on me the instant I walked through the door, dark holes which possessed a slight look of hunger now as he watched me walk towards his desk. He was in a gray suit, one the same shade as the rock on his desk which I had admired the last time I was there, looking still very handsome and decadently rich.

"Sit down Ms. Carlyle," he invited and I did, keeping my legs firmly shut, being unable to cross them without too much discomfort.

"My Doctor reports that you are healthy and can continue to work with us here at SSA," he stated, gazing at me almost warmly.

"Thank you," I said with a nod.

There was a few seconds of silence while we stared at each other. I had the suspicion that he was waiting to see if I complained that Zhao Yifei had gone too far by questioning my sexual activity, was hoping somehow that I would. I couldn't however. My shyness prevented me from doing it.

"When you return to your desk you'll find a small gift waiting for you," Mark finally said, sucessfully breaking the silence.

"You didn't need to do that," I replied, almost blushing.

"It's nothing special," the man returned. "Just a rock like this one. I remembered you liked it the last time and I told you that I would get one for you."

"That was very nice of you," I complimented with another polite nod.

As I lowered my eyes for a moment, something caught my eye on the side of Donaka's desk opposite to the rock. It was a box of familiar red and gold, only this time I could easily see that the engravings were of oriental dragons. I was positive that a box like that had not been placed there at the beginning of the week and that it was the same one that had been in Zhao Yifei examining room. Just as I was convinced that if I were to open it I would find the same gloves the Doctor had used when examining my body.

Looking up at Donaka, I could see that he was well pleased that I had noticed the item. His sparkling eyes betrayed his pleasure and I felt that if the businessman had believed he could get away with a wink he would have.

"You like my box, I see," he commented, taking it in his hands and holding it out for me to take and examine.

"It's very beautiful," I commented. "I like the dragons."

"Why thank you, Ms Carlyle," he said, placing it on the desk before him after I had refused to take it from him. "I'm afraid, I can't give you one of these to go along with the rock. It's 13th century, Yuan dynasty. One of a kind. Very rare and _extremely_ expensive.

I almost jumped up out of the chair when Donaka Mark flipped the box's lid up, half expecting to see the white gloves inside, probably covered with traces of my DNA. But as the man's eyes remained fixed on me, I saw that the box was now empty, the gloves no longer hidden inside. My startled face was reflected in the presumably 14 karat gold which lined its now empty insides.

"The thing is," Donaka continued, "Just as any piece of art these days, it can be duplicated easily enough. With today's resorces and technology, craftsmanship is a thing of the past. We don't pay for it anymore; we're paying for a piece of _history_. In this particular case, the box was made by a man, a pacifist, whom was under great distress. It seems a cruel lord threatened the artist and his entire bloodline with death if it was not finished in an unreasonable amount of time."

He expected me to ask what happened.

I did not disappoint him.

"The man slaved for an entire month with no sleep and after hardly eating. It was finished in time."

"His family survived," I said with a relief I could not disguise.

"Not exactly," Donaka Mark said with a smile. He held out the box towards me again and closed the lid once more. "See this dragon here?" he asked tapping one particular beast.

"Yes." Its mouth was closed and its nostrils wide. I thought its eyes also contained a downward slant which made them appear sad.

"The lord specifically requested all of the dragons mouths be opened and prepared to devour. It was supposed that after days of no sleep and little food, the artist forgot that one specific demand. I think that he was either subconsciously rebelling against the lord or no longer wished to think of powerful creatures that consumed mercilessly all those whom were weaker in their sight, that he desired some _sign_ of mercy and compassion: to believe that dragons, that _man_ , was not all evil. I do not believe that everything happens for a reason but I also do not believe in accidents, Ms. Carlyle."

"What happened?" I asked in a whisper that sounded terrified yet curious and simultaneously mesmerised.

"The lord had the artist and his bloodline slaughtered as promised. He kept the former alive to witness the end of everyone that he loved. By that time, they claim that the artist had foregone any foolish belief in mercy, pacifism or the hope for mankind. Completely mad, he was ready to kill the lord then but could only be slaughtered instead. And all that for a pretty...little...box."

"And you wanted _it_?" I asked, searching Donaka's eyes for some explanation and defense of why he would want something which had caused destruction, pain and heartbreak.

"Yes," he answered, putting it to the side casually. "For the story if for nothing else. The lord was right after all: the dragon's mouth should have been open," Donaka criticized coldly.

Feeling sick, a shock coursing through my body, I could not move and Donaka turned to gaze at me almost in boredom, as if he wondered what I was still doing there.

"You can get back to work now."

I rose from the chair, swaying slightly on my feet.

Walking towards the door, the man stopped me before I made it completely there. "What do you think I should put in it?"

"What?" I asked, turning around.

"In the box. What should I put in it? It would have to be similarly something rare these days, don't you think? Pearls, diamonds...they all can be manufactured, I'm afraid."

"I don't know, Mr Komoto," I replied.

" _Charles_ ," he said with a friendly grin. "Oh well...maybe something to eat then. How about cherries? Those can be rare as well in this day and age. Availability, location wise, I mean."

I swallowed and felt the blood rushing to my cheeks, knowing what he truly meant. "Those are for bowls not boxes," I corrected.

His mouth shut but the smile remained. "Right...that old adage: Life is like a bowl of cherries. Sad you can't hide a bit of life inside of a box," he mused. "But life is meant for bodies, flesh and blood, nothing else is good enough: It needs what you can make _bleed_. Good day, Heather."

He looked away then and busied himself with things other than me. Still I was certain as my back turned and I left the office that his eyes returned to my back once again.

* * *

At my desk, after our brief separation, I found the rock waiting for me, as Donaka had promised. By its side was one other item the man had not mentioned:  
A single cherry.

* * *

I reported the events of my return to Suen Jing as soon as I safely could and she looked disturbed at the revelation that I was a virgin.

"You never told us this," she said reprovingly as we sat in the new restaurant where we had chosen to meet.

"I didn't think it made a difference," I said, trying to appear nonchalant.

She said it didn't but her tough face showed that it did. Reading her, I could tell that she was worried for me in a way she hadn't previously been. Before, she had believed that my innocence was an act or superficiality. She had assumed I had had lovers before. Knowing that I had not, it posed a new risk for me that she had not considered before. Now if Donaka Mark caught me he could damage me in a whole different way.

But she had promised me that it would _not_ come to that, I told myself. Donaka would _not_ be allowed to get _that_ close to me. There was the entire HKPD there to make sure he didn't and a microchip in my thigh to insure it as well

* * *

Despite our being on a first name basis now, I saw little of Donaka Mark following my return to SSA. I heard talk that he was out of town and seeing to the acquisition of a smaller yet similarly themed company before it became bigger and evolved into a more dangerous rival.

I thought of the dragons on the man's precious box, always ready to devour.

All save one.

But that one was apparently not Donaka Mark.

Charles Komoto away, I soon found myself focusing on our latest assignment at SSA, the development of security cameras which could be safely and unknowingly placed on tie clips or the buttons of outfits. It seemed highly unethical and bordering on James Bond territory.

Working late one night, something I had mistakenly believed I'd get out of when I'd decided to turn spy myself, I'd gone to the washroom and returned to the darkened room containing my work station, only to notice the drawer of my desk slightly open. I had not left it that way, I was sure of it. Glancing around at the otherwise empty room, I walked cautiously to my desk and opened the drawer the whole way.

Sitting on top of several files, paperclips, staples and pens, somebody had placed several photographs. I brought them out and stared at them for a few seconds before I realized what they were exactly of. My hand shaking, they fell back into the drawer where they had been placed to wait for me. I picked them up again and looked at them closer as my face turned a shade to match the color depicted in the photos: All except the whitish shade of the intact film blocking my vaginal entrance.

I knew they were of me and not an imposter, could tell from the color of the pubic hair and some familar markings. In curiosity, I had often looked at myself down there with a mirror; I knew myself far more intimately than a man ever had.

Falling into my chair, I grabbed my head with one hand and tried to stop myself from shaking. I recalled how long Zhao Yifei had stayed examining the area between my legs and how carefully she had removed the gloves and placed them in Donaka Mark's box.

And how, that day, the same box had entered SSA before I even had.

Spinning around in my chair, I looked up at the security camera in the corner of the room. That was what Security System Alliance dealt with, I understood: surveillance. For a company developing cameras so tiny and undetectable they could fit in a button, it wouldn't be that difficult to place one in the fingertip of a glove. Especially one I had not been given the opportunity, nor had even thought of, to study.

Grabbing the photographs, I ran out of the building, my heart pounding, trying to find a phone that was far enough away from SSA and its resurrected founder. It was raining heavily and my only desire was to locate one lousy payphone as soon as I could. Finding one, I asked to be put through to Suen Jing-Si. Her secretary said they would try to track her down and transfer the call. The longer it took the Superintendent to answer the phone, however, the more I stared at the photographs and my humiliation was both born and grew at the prospect of anyone else seeing them. The realization that they would be placed in a file like the endless photographs of Donaka's victims for strangers to view when necessary not only made me feel nauseated it made me feel _violated_.

Even more so than the knowledge that Donaka had seen them himself.

"Yes, Smyth?" the Superintendent's voice finally shattered through my thoughts. "You have something for us?"

"I...ahhh...I just wanted to mention that Donaka has left the city," I replied, my voice sounding almost dead.

A sigh came from the other end. "We _knew_ that already. Anything else?"

I looked at the dirty photographs in my hands. They became soaked as the rain continued to fall from heaven but never enough to make them or me clean.

"No. Nothing," I lied.

* * *

When I returned home, passing the Miko statue on my shelf, the first thing that I did was go into the washroom, out of her gaze, and burn the photographs of my vagina and hymen. At first the flame from the match refused to spread, the rain that covered them doing its best to disuade it. Soon, however, it became a blaze in my apartment's bathroom sink. When it was nothing more than a pile of ash I turned on the faucet and watched as what remained of them was washed down the sink.

I then took a shower, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

My stomach would not allow me to even contemplate supper. Similar to the actions of an artist whom had lived and died centuries ago.


	4. Reflections in One Another's Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Charles Komoto" returns and pays me a visit at my desk at work, where we engage in a little veiled conversation.

When rumor spread throughout SSA that Donaka Mark had returned, the shiver I felt crawl down my back made me visibly shiver. It warrented a few casual gazes from my coworkers but, since they more often kept to themselves than not, and viewed me as a foreigner amongst their ranks, nobody bothered to ask me if anything was wrong or if I was alright.

I hadn't been alright since discovering the photographs of my genitalia hidden inside of my desk drawer but to whom could I confide this? My further destruction of the evidence and inability to be able to hand it over to Suen Jing had also disturbed me as well, making me doubt my ability to perform my role as spy. The photographs may have helped her. Whom else could have had the opportunity to take them but Donaka's own personal doctor? But it had been too humiliating to consider handing them over for strangers to study and examine and then simply file away. If something like that, though, was enough to catch me off guard and make a poor decision in the heat of my sense of violation, I wondered how I could possibly fare any better during a more intense situation. That was what Suen Jing-Siwas hoping for after all: To use me in order to make Donaka Mark try something far more dangerous than just taunting me with some dirty little photographs.

"I'm not sure I can do this," I told the Superintendent over the phone, shortly before Mark's reappearance. My voice sounded more shaky and fragile than during my previous conversations with the woman although she seemed to not notice the fact.

"It's because you haven't seen him in a while. You've lost the momentum. Besides, you were given a chance to back down before you started," she said sternly. "You back out now and it will be hard to place similar bait in Donaka's path again."

Guilt flooded me, knowing her words were true. From my two meetings with Donaka Mark, he seemed as smart a man as any I had encountered. Ironically, that usually would have interested me immensely. Intelligence had been a turn on for me since I had been a little girl and the love of my life had been a Ghostbuster named Egon Spengler. But knowing what Donaka was, seeing the faces and bodies of his victims spread out before me at the Hong Kong Police Department, I could no more fall in love with him than I could any serial killer on the cover of an American tabloid. Even _if_ I still found myself thinking of his handsome, dark eyed face and hearing his confident, deep tone resonating throughout my mind and soul whenever I remembered him telling me of his box's blood drenched history.

His undeniable intelligence was why I was being forced to stay.

If the HKPD placed another foreign, curvy, overweight woman in his path, one whom reeked of inexperience and innocence, he would never fall for it. Donaka would weigh the chances of it in his mind and draw the conclusion that he was being set up. I was effectively being forced to stay on the threat of singlehandedly ruining months of time and money if I didn't wait to see what the man would do with me.

Attempting to focus on my work once more, I was focusing on my designated aspect on SSA's next project when I heard two words spoken by a familiar voice behind me.

"Hello Heather."

Spinning around in my chair, I found Donaka Mark standing perfectly straight and gazing down at me with an almost malignant twinkle in his eyes. He was wearing a new suit of royal blue jacket and trousers with a black shirt and tie, at the heart of which lay a clip. I stared at it, recognizing it from the designs I had just been staring at.

"I...I'm sorry," I apologized. "I didn't know that you were there."

He smiled mischeivously. "I like to pop in unannounced every once in a while on new employees. Make sure that they are behaving. Have you been behaving yourself, Heather?"

I held his gaze and felt my cheeks starting that instantly recognizable and uncomfortable feeling that heralded a blush. I hadn't been able to stop it in time, staring into the man's dark eyes, ones which had seen the photographs taken of the most private area of my body. "I'm trying," I commented and turned away, deciding to focus on my work despite my boss' unexpected visit. "Besides you manufacture security systems," I said, tilting my head in the direction of the camera steadily watching us. "You'd know if I wasn't, right?"

Donaka Mark slowly walked closer towards me until he spun around, his back was facing my desk, and peered down at me. His nicely shaped ass was resting against the drawer which had held the photo of my intact hymen guarding my entrance. I tried to avoid looking at the front of his expensive blue trousers so close in a way to my swiftly moving hands.

"That's another reason for my coming to see you, Heather," the man stated. "A security guard, a few nights back, stated you left the building abruptly. He was concerned and brough it to my attention. Watching the recording back, it looked like something upset you. Did it? You know the personal safety of my staff is of the utmost importance to me."

During this last remark, Donaka's large hand came to grasp my chin and turn it forcefully to meet his eyes once again. I thought of him hiring one of those same staff members to plant the photos inside of my desk and how he knew even now exactly what had upset me. In return, he'd be aware that I would have to be an ignorant fool to not connect my visit to the Doctor, his red and gold box and the explicit photographs with him and his grand design. My next decision was just how much I confronted him with it. I suffered a moment of unplanned exhileration and fear as we looked at one another, knowing whom was the cat but just how much the mouse was willing to allow being played with.

"I became sick," I confessed. "Something I found in my desk _sickened_ me."

He tilted his head as if to tell me he was pleased with my response. "A cockroach maybe?"

"No. A _cock_ -roach never had anything to do with it, you might say," I commented, the vision my untorn layer of film flashing across my eyes.

Something close to hunger flashed across his own eyes and he squeezed my chin tighter. "Good. Wouldn't want to have to bring in an exterminator. It may disrupt business. "

We seemed transfixed as we stared at each other, the other SSA worker's ignoring us completely. It was as if we were separate from them, existing on some other level which seemed different entirely. Of course, they were probably not aware that Charles Komoto was really the former head of the company resurrected from death and returned miraculously and mysteriously to life.

Or maybe they did but were paid well enough not to care.

"You have such beautiful eyes," Donaka suddenly whispered, his voice odd. I knew that he was seeing himself reflected in them as I saw my own entranced self in his dark, small orbs. He seemed almost hypnotized and I felt unwanted arousal course between my legs and straight to my breasts. Then his voice became confident and he added as if it were meant as some joke only he would understand, "It's like I can almost see my future in them."

His hand moved away from my chin and he began to stroke my left cheek with the back of it. "Your hair's pretty too," he commented, briefly tugging on one strand, which had escaped from the bun at the back of my head and curled into the shape of a spring. I instantly thought of Gilbert Blythe pulling on Anne of Green Gables pigtail and calling her carrots.

"If you don't mind I have work to do," I stated, turning my head quickly, no slate nearby to disuade him in a way similar to how Anne did with her unwanted beau.

"No time for pleasure?" Donaka asked, becoming more reserved.

"We are in your company building, wasting company time," I commented, staring at the gold plated clip in my hand which matched the one on Donaka's tie. "You pay me to work."

"And I decide what that work is," the man reminded.

"And I also have the right to say no if I don't like what it entails," I countered.

"There are limits now are there?" Donaka Mark commented. "Why be so formal?" He suddenly picked up the rock he had given me as a decoration for my desk. "I mean, you already helped get my rock off."

I bolted up from my chair instantly and likewise Donaka's arm reached out faster than I had ever seen a human being move before. I knew then that he could take me whenever he wanted to despite my large size and this excited me without intention as well. Our mutual action earned the interest finally of the workers surrounding us whom then studied us with curiosity.

"Just a bad joke, Heather," Donaka Mark commented. "Forgive me."

I nodded, the same curl like spring bouncing up and down as my head moved in similar fashion. "I do," I commented and peered into the man's eyes, looking as timid as I probably felt.

The man looked at me strangely again, my eyes mesmerizing him as before. "Thank you," he commented.

He was beginning to walk away when I called out to him without planning to. "Welcome back, Mr. Komoto."

Donaka Mark stopped and stood with his back facing me, offering me a gaze of his strong back cast in blue, before slowly turning to look at me from over his shoulder. There was a delighted smugness held within the black holes of his eyes. "Back? Who said I was ever gone?"

Those same dark holes then surveyed his accomplices which surrounded us, busily having returned to their work and intentionally ignoring us once more. "I wonder how these rumours get started?"

He eyed me like some dragon relishing my shock and then turned and walked away. 

I fell back into my chair, visibly showing my distress for both my coworkers and the camera up in the corner of the room. I did not need to worry about hiding my feelings for they would be what attracted my boss, after all. Not that Donaka Mark had ever even watched me, as he had claimed to have, from the surveillance camera filming me. No. Some dark corner of the room had probably served in hiding him well from my vision as he had watched me safely from it, that night, as I had found the photographs inside my open desk and I had subsequenly fled from the SSA building in fright and revulsion.

Photographs he had planted himself, I now understood.

For Donaka Mark was far too much of a control freak to have ever trusted anyone else to do it for him.

And longed for as few viewers as possible to see what he deemed as the prize I held waiting for him between my plump pair of thighs.


	5. Reflection of a Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donaka Mark offers me a ride and makes a startling revelation.

There were no more notices for me to visit Donaka in his office nor were there any unannounced visits to my workstation which seemed to be for my sole benefit either.

Occassionally Donaka Mark under the guise of "Charles Komoto" would stroll through the office where I worked but he did not so much as speak a single word to me. Our eyes met, he would nod, to which I would do the same, ever so politely but that was the entire content of our communication. I was beginning to suspect, however, that the workers surrounding me knew just whom their boss was and always had. Suen Jing's belief that nobody had seen the man since he had taken over SSA began to be founded on unsafe ground in my mind. The way that Mark would acknowledge this staff member or that lead me to believe that it was probably a safe bet that everyone inside of the building, possibly other than myself, had always known for certain that Charles Komoto was Donaka Mark. 

Apparently, by this time, his resurrections had lost the ability to surprise them.

With this thought eerily gnawing at me, making me increasingly nervous, I began to doubt the loyalty of Jing-Si's spy within the organization. I was suddenly claimed with an overpowering and disturbing notion that Donaka Mark had somehow _used_ this double agent for his own means; perhaps intentionally setting the worker to the goal of helping him get what he wanted.

And in this case, what Donaka Mark wanted was _me_. 

" _Or is that what you simply want to believe?"_

The common doubting voice inside of my head had taken on the sound of Donaka's own deep and deliberate tone. These days, it was chastising me for what it believed was an attraction I felt towards the man. What was worse, in a way, was this time I knew that the voice held some truth to it. I was attracted to the man; this I could not deny and how I missed his eyes on me even though it terrified me at the same time. Watching him from the corner of my own eye, I enjoyed the sight of his imposing and well dressed figure walking through the spaces between the desks and work stations. I chastised myself for it. It had been egotistical to even have been secretly pleased that he was attracted to me too. His character, those photographs of the dead, had ensured that I would _never_ be with him. But his interest had flattered and excited me without my wanting it to. Having suffered a youth where I had been mercilessly teased for my weight, having a man as fine as Donaka actually desire me had been equally as thrilling as trying to help the HKPD bring him down.

Now that he seemed to be ignoring me, though, I felt disappointed somehow. Could I have been merely conjuring up a false idea that he had set up Suen Jing with her supposed turncoat at SSA just to comfort my wounded ego?

As I exited my apartment one morning, this debate was raging inside of my mind and I almost walked into the elevator doors, not seeing the "Out of Order" sign on them.

"Shit," I mumbled to myself. I was more embarrassed by the fact that I'd almost accidentally walked right into the doors than the fact that I would need to use the stairs. My classrooms in seventh and eighth grade had been at the top of a three story building. This meant that several times a day, going there and during recesses, I had had to move my fat body up and down the intimidating stairs. I wasn't in all of that bad of shape for a big girl so needing to use the stairway until the elevator was fixed wasn't all that appalling to me.

Arriving at Security Systems Alliance, the day proceeded in its usual fashion. The tiny wearable cameras were almost completed and, to my surprise, I was actually looking forward to seeing what project SSA had in store next. Sometime after lunch, I looked out the large windows in the office and noticed that it had started to rain outside.

"Shit," I used my magic word for the day, it appeared, as I faced yet another unforseen occurrence.

"Is that the proper language for a lady to use?"  
I heard Donaka Mark say and I turned around to find him standing over my shoulder once more.

"Go find one and ask her," I asked, perturbed by the sudden appearance of both the rain and Mark when I had not expected either of them.

"Oh, but I had hoped that I had," Donaka Mark stated as he clasped his hands behind his long back and leaned forward slightly.

I remembered the photographs left in my desk, then burnt to ashes and washed down my sink, and felt fear swell along with the pleasure at the return of the man's attention. It reminded me of why I should have wanted him to stay away from me. It was foolish; like a rabbit dreading the tiger it was fully aware was stalking it but elated by the glimpse of orange crouching down amidst the green blades of grass.

"Any reason for this particular visit?" I asked, folding my hands neatly on my pink, skirted lap. "Did we not please you with the design for the clip?"

Donaka smiled at me. He stood up straight again and brought his hand and my attention to his tie and the new clip. It now bore the changes made at the last minute to the old one; changes I had personally had a hand in creating, to my personal pride.

"No," he answered. "I am very pleased. I just stopped by personally to show it to you in person."

I stared at the center of it, the gold reminding me of his gold and red box and I tried not to shudder at the remembrance of a dead artist and his slaughtered family and the fact that Donaka was probably filming me now. I pressed my legs closer together and tilted them to the side, knowing that the camera itself or the relay center where the footage was being transmitted to had a very effective zoom function.

"Are you filming me?" I asked abruptly, foregoing pretence.

"That would be illegal."

I offered him a small frown and nodded towards the security camera in the upper corner.

"That one you know about," Donaka stated. "You signed the papers when you joined us allowing it."

I folded my arms across my large chest. "Maybe there was fine print I wasn't aware of."

"You disappoint me, Heather," he commented. "I think you have me mixed up with my illustrious predessesor."

" _Infamous_ ," I corrected. "Do I?"

"Yes," he stated, suddenly very serious. "You will find that I am _nothing_ like Donaka Mark."

I looked up at him innocently.

"For instance, would he have offered to find you an umbrella?" Mark asked. "That's the reason for the expletive right? You didn't expect rain so you didn't bring one?"

I glanced at the window and sighed. I was too easily read. Suen needed a girl whom could act innocent yet still keep her wits about her, was impervious to charm and was as smart as the law official was herself. Instead she had ended up with a naive woman whom was in part infactuated with het target and was as easy to read as a "Insert necessary word here for Dummies" book.

"Yes," I replied. "I need an umbrella. But, no, I don't know whether or not Donaka Mark would have offered me one, having never met him."

My boss studied me, my legs still on fleshy display for him and sticking out from my skirt in a not unpleasant sight if one was so inclined. From the way his eyes lingered on them for a moment before rising to meet my own and looking oddly thoughtful, I thought Donaka Mark was _definitely_ inclined. "You're right," he finally answered. "He probably would have."

I hated staring at him like that across an oblivious office room. Couldn't stand the goosebumps on my body and the way that I suddenly felt like that same stupid rabbit whom felt compelled to jump into its predator's mouth.

"I'll have someone drop an umbrella off to you sometime this afternoon," Donaka Mark stated. "Then you won't get wet walking home."

"How did you know that I walk home?" I asked.

He gazed at me, smiling in a self satisfied manner. "Your sensible shoes, that they are worn, the fact that you didn't request a parking space. Speaking of your apartment, how did you like the Miko statue."

"It's beautiful," I answered truthfully. "She sits on my shelf and reminds me to stay pure."

Something like a flash of fire in his eyes, the same you would see when oil was set ablaze. "I'd like to see it in person someday. Maybe we could disappoint her together."

No reply passed by my lips but a few dirty images of how we could make the statue blush crossed rapidly across my mind in graphic detail. I pushed them away with the memory of Donaka's victims and their lifeless eyes.

"Or maybe not," Donaka said with a smirk when confronted with my silence.

He left me then, sitting at the desk and trying to be the good little girl that my mother had raised, one whom knew she should not look at her boss' killer ass as he walked away.

* * *

I waited all noon for one of " _Charles_ _Komoto's_ " workers to appear with the promised umbrella as it continued to pour down outside. When none showed, I believed that I had personally offended the man and he purposely wanted me to walk home without protection and become drenched.

I sneakily phoned lost and found, inquiring if they had a brolly, by chance, but they didn't. The vision of Mark making sure an hour ago that they were all confiscated, if there had been any, seemed more reality than fantasy.

"Fuck it," I said when it reached home time, raising my bad language stakes in the process, and heading out into the rain.

Not four seconds after I had walked out of SSA's front doors, I watched as a limousine pulled up in front of me and the door flew open. "Get in," Donaka Mark ordered.

"Stupid little bunny," I chastised myself as I slid onto the seats, somewhat wet but now facing a far drier fate then if I had walked home.

"Bunny?" Donaka asked, amused and I realized that I had spoken aloud.

"Yes," I stated. "Or maybe chicken would be more fitting. You know, and you're my Foxy Loxy."

"I'm flattered but I'd use Foxy more in regards to you," Donaka commented and his eyes drifted down to my legs again, now glistening slightly with raindrops. I closed them tighter but the feeling only pressed in against my already awakening clit, sending up a surge of physical delight through my body and I shuddered, trying to fight it.

I felt myself blush and lowered my head as the car started towards my apartment. Reading me easily once more, Donaka seemed to be aware of what had just happened. He slid across the seat, took my head in his hands and started to kiss the side of my face that was closest towards him. His lips and touch felt good and I instinctively turned my head more so that it was facing him but not the whole way. Kissing the side of my face now directly to the side of my lips, every touch further making the bud between my legs open in arousal, his hand seemed to sense it and be called towards this intimate part of my body. Donaka's hand grabbed my knee first and squeezed it which created an oddly sexual sensation to bolt through my flesh and nerves. I gasped and parted my legs slightly, an action Mark took full advantage of. His hand dipped serpent like in between my legs and effortlessly pushed the crotch of my panties aside, while he continued to kiss the side of my face as if he were intent on devouring it. His index finger dipped inside of my folds and touched my swelling clit before going lower to make the acquaintance of the thin layer he had only seen in photographs.

"There's my girl," he stated roughly before carressing it some more and giving my cheek a kiss which was more akin to a bite.

I was almost immobilized by the bliss that his touch was bringing to me. Nobody other than a few doctors, nurses and myself had touched my body there. It was the promise of a pure physical paradise he offered with his touch and my nipples were tingling, wishing that Donaka would lower his lips to give them attention as well.

Forcefully, I tried to push past the ecstasy and the fact that my hips were now beginning to rock in response to his fingering.

"No!" I cried, suddenly successful. I grabbed his hand and pulled it out from my skirt.

Instantly he tried to return, still kissing me with even more passion, but I pushed it away again.

I saw his hand form a fist as it lay between my thighs and suffered the fear and knowledge that he wanted to ram it back in such a position to where it had just been. In relief, I saw him pull his hand back and also lean his head back from my own face. We were both panting as we stared at each other.

"I'm not that kind of girl," I stated desperately, almost as if I were pleading for my life.

Donako looked on the precipice of enraged frustration. I could see the bulge in his dark, silken pants and knew that he was annoyed by my refusal, having touched what he desired but then been denied it. He was not a man to be refused often. He grasped my head again as he peered into my eyes, water now flooding them, and I felt the urge to scream as my body urged me to surrender instead and accept the eager cock rising beside me.

"No," he stated, suddenly appeased perhaps by the terror in my eyes. "You _aren't_ are you?"

Letting go of me almost brutally, pushing me away as he sat on the oposite seat, looking straight ahead, he remarked, "You don't look very much like a _Heather_ either."

My veins were like small, tight, frozen rivulets with blood turned frozen managing to run through them.

"How do you like that rock still?" Donaka Mark hissed as he spun his head around to glare at me. "Or would a _plant_ have been a better choice?"

My hand went to the door handle and I started to open it, my fear of falling out of a moving car being less than that of being trapped inside of one with a murderer whom had guessed my deception. Donaka's hands were instantly on mine, though, preventing my escape.

"LET ME GO! OH PLEASE LET ME GO!" I cried loudly, the frightened rabbit only wanting to survive now, its desire forgotten about. 

"STOP!" he yelled at me. "YOU'LL ONLY HURT YOURSELF."

"As if you won't?" I whispered after I had turned to look at him from over my shoulder.

He backed away, the car still moving with us in it while the driver went to his instructed destination, paid to turn a deaf ear to whatever his master did in the backseat of the limo.

"Why should I?" Donaka Mark asked, calmly yet coldly. "You're nothing. A little nobody I don't even know the name of. Some poor, pathetic creature Suen Jing-Si enlisted to try to get me."

I tried not to move or flinch when he said the Superintendent's name, not wanting to give her away. But I knew it was hopeless; the woman's months of planning had been wasted.

"That rumor about Donaka Mark liking large, virginal women is as stale as the milk in the back of a convenience store freezer," he said with a cruel laugh. "It's also hopelessly _wrong_."

His words cut my heart and I suddenly felt horribly undesirable, unwanted and stupid.

"How long have you known?" I asked.

"From the beginning," he informed. "And now that we're at the end, get out and don't bother showing up for work tomorrow or ever again."

Feeling the limousine stop, I turned my head around quickly enough to almost end up with whiplash. I saw the familiar sight of my apartment building and felt the relief someone must feel when they manage to hit on the breaks before ramming into another vehicle. I bolted out of the car, having heard the sound of the driver hitting the lock switch.

As I reached the front door of my residence, I strangely hesitated knowing that I would never see Donaka Mark again. Spinning around, I saw only the sight of the limo driving off into the rain soaked street. Getting increasingly wet, I could not help but feel destroyed in some unknown and unwanted way and held myself for comfort before slowly walking into my apartment building.

While the "Out of Order" sign hadn't bothered me much in the morning, it now depressed me. I longed for nothing more than getting to my apartment and falling on my bed so I could cry myself to sleep. The thought of informing Suen Jing-Si of my failure was almost devastating.

"Tomorrow," I whispered as I walked towards the stairs.

In the stairwell, I could no longer hold back. I was exhausted, sad and wet. I leaned against the brick wall and started to weep furiously. My cries were so loud that I almost missed hearimg the sound of the elevator rising. It was just my luck that they had fixed the darn thing apparently after I had already climbed half a flight. Sniffling, I finished climbing the rest of the way, feeling a headache coming on.

When I reached the fourth floor, where my apartment was, I noticed that the sign was still on the elevator. They musn't have had time to remove it yet, I thought as I unlocked my door and went inside. The Miko statue was waiting for me and I thought it looked appropriately happy that my virtue was no longer in danger. I should have been too but there was a weight on my soul far heavier than the statue itself.

I remembered Donaka's cold words inside of the limo and his admission that the rumor that he liked overweight women had been false. However, recalling in equal measure his touch and eyes on my legs that day, amongst several other lustful gazes during our acquaintance, I found myself doubting it somehow and wondering what was real and could be trusted: his words or his eyes and hands?

Deciding that I should call Suen Jing after all, knowing I could use my own phone now, I first walked to my bathroom so I could wipe the tears out of my eyes and the rain off of my face. I stared back at my reflection after first running the face cloth over my frowning face. I looked sorrowful and haunted.

Unattractive.

" _Why would he have wanted you anyway_?" that doubting voice had returned to sounding like my own. Donako's absence was now complete.

About to wipe the fresh tears out of my eyes, my elbow bumped into the bar of soap I'd absentmindedly left on the rim of the sink and I watched as it fell to the floor almost in slow motion. I was antsy and jittery, a mess as the mirror revealed.

"Shit," I cursed for the third time that day and bent down to pick it up.

Standing up again, I looked at my own reflection but my eyes immediately darted to the man I now saw over my shoulder, standing perfectly straight behind me.

"Hello _Erin_ ," Donaka Mark greeted with a familiar and affectionate smile and the look of unrepentant lust in his dark eyes.

I opened my mouth to scream but the intruder's arms quickly shot out, grabbing me from behind. My own limbs flailed in desperation while his remained calm and with singular purpose. In the reflection of the bathroom mirror, I watched as Donaka brought a hand to my mouth and I saw the towel soaked in some substance. My nose told me that it was a sweet smelling chemical and I easily knew which one. Though, I had never smelled it in person before.

In my childhood, I had been confused about sex. Having heard so many people refer to it as "sleeping together" I had thought that making love entailed falling asleep. Too young, I had found myself becoming aroused when I saw somebody being put to sleep on a television show, book or movie by drugs or chloroform. I had sought such instances for that feeling it created inside of me, the one I was too young to understand, being at the start of its existence only five years old. I saw myself in their place, a sleeping beauty being part of that adult world which was hidden.

I don't know when I had grown out of it, but some part of it must have remained even if I had forgotten or tried to deny it.

Viewing in the mirror, I saw Donaka Mark placing the towel over my mouth as the scent of the chloroform crept into my nostrils and invaded my lungs. I pushed my chest out, half in struggle, half in the arousal I felt burning and spreading out from my clitoris and vagina. I moaned almost like an orgasm as I felt delight at witnessing Donaka putting me to sleep as I had dreamt of in my childhood. My last conscious sight was of him tenderly kissing the top of my forehead as if I were a child falling asleep in his arms. Then there was only darkness and a few violent spasms, my body suddenly coming even as awareness was taken from me.


	6. An Upturned Reflection in a Glass of Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wake up in a strange room in the arms of Donaka Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't sure that I'd get anything done today because I was nervous about a Doctor's appointment. But I did so, Yay! 
> 
> I think the official song for this story is Creep vs The Air That I Breathe by the Moon Loungers.

I saw consciousness like a mirror before me. I was lost in darkness, surrounded by it and a certain heat and weight, not my own, as I struggled to awaken. I felt as if I was approaching a mirror image of myself, reversed and upside down; the nearer I came towards the other me, the more I felt myself becoming the self on the other side. Touching the glass, I was pulled violently into the world of awareness but suffered the effects of the sleeping woman I had been only seconds before.

The room, wherever I was, was foggy as my eyes, long closed and shut off from anything bright, adapted to the sudden assault of light. My nose inhaled the mingled scent of jasmine and cherry blossoms. Something else more pungent was mixed in with it which I soon realized was blood. I feared that my hands and feet were no longer there for I could hardly move them. As I proceeded to struggle, I soon realized that I was merely expertly tied up and lying on my right side. The heat from my former state, and the weight which had been pressing close to me, was another human body lying closely by my side.

Donaka Mark was staring at me while his head rested on a white satin pillow. He was the first thing that my eyes sucessfully focused on for he was more akin to the darkness they had just escaped from than anything else: His dark hair, the blackness of his tailored suit and the chestnut shade of his eyes gazing into mine with something almost close to love.

"Welcome back to the world of the living, Erin," he greeted, touching my cheek tenderly and then stroking it with the back of his index finger. " _Erin.._.it suits you so much better than Heather. Who picked that out for you? Suen? If you ever see her again, tell her that she was as lousy choosing an alias for you as she was choosing your wardrobe."

His eyes lowered and lingered over my body and I looked down to see that I was no longer in the suit I had been wearing at work and which had become momentarily wet from the pouring rain outside. I saw the curves of my naked shoulders, my chubby but not entirely unpleasant legs and the bulging, soft, pale mounds of my large breasts. At some point during my unconsciousness, I had been changed into a pure white lace babydoll and now Donaka Mark was enjoying the view. He looked down at my chest, pressed into his own, with hunger and appreciation, nuzzling his chin into the space between them for a second or two and causing me to inhale quickly while I trembled.

"I think I possess a much better eye for what you look good in," he praised himself and I felt myself becoming unwillingly aroused from watching him staring lustily at my breasts. "Don't you?"

"Please," I whispered desperately. "I won't tell anybody...Please let me go."

He raised his eyes from off of the exposed flesh of my breasts to meet my own and then took a curled strand of brown-auburn hair from off of my shoulder where it had fallen to play with. Apparently, along with my attire having been changed, my long hair had likewise been set free from its binds to lie loosely around me. Some lay in waves on the pillow which was under my head, the exact duplicate to the one Mark's had been resting on and I realized fully that we were on a bed and the sheets underneath our bodies were comprised of silk as well.

Twirling my hair around his finger, the man asked quietly but firmly, "And why would I want to do that when it took Suen so long to finally send you to me in the first place?"

"How long have you known?" I asked in the same hushed tone, as if even now my conversation with the man was one I was afraid Suen Jing-Si would overhear and I would then be scolded for having failed her.

He set the strand of hair twisted around his finger free and it became a coiled spring which returned to my shoulder. Seeing it lying there, Donaka pushed it aside, gripped the shoulder and kissed the skin, making me shudder. He then cupped my cheek once more and leaned his forehead against mine. "I knew the moment you walked into her cousin's apartment...I knew before either she or you did, Erin, that you would be coming to me."

His lips replaced his hand on the side of my face and his palm now found my ass and clenched it. After he had finished kissing my cheek he rested his lips and open mouth to it and then further confessed to me the full knowledge he held in regards to the Hong Kong Police Department's ill conceived plot to take him down.

"I'd set up cameras in all of the homes of those close to the inestimable superintendent ages ago. I try to live by that old adage about keeping your friends close but your enemies closer. I knew all about her latest stunt...In fact, I was the one that placed the seed of it in her mind. You see, I've been longing to try out a little experiment ever since the one with Chen was such a remarkable success and I saw the perfect provided opportunity; I knew, Jing-Si would have far better luck finding the right subject than I ever would."

I remembered my suspicion for weeks now that Donaka might have orchestrated the whole affair to his benefit and regretted the fact that I had been horribly right. That he had seen me and known instantly that I would be the one chosen for Suen Jing's ineffectual plan, I had never suspected, though. The knowledge terrified me that he possessed the clarity of God in his foresight.  
As it turned out, however, it was not only clarity which had bestowed upon the head of Security Systems Alliance his foresight but a little covetousness as well.

"When I saw you for the first time, I _wanted_ you," he stated possessively as he grabbed my buttocks and pressed me closer to him. "I could tell you were the one, Erin. Your shyness, your innocence, the fact that you'd never been with anyone before...Suen may not have known that little fact but I did. I could tell it from your walk, from the way you moved your legs and your thighs. You had never had a man inside of you and I desired to be your first."

"You did all of this because you wanted a _virgin_?" I asked in shock.

He laughed and then moved his head back so he could look into my confused eyes.

"You think I haven't had a virgin before?" he inquired incredulously. "I've had my fair share. Actually virgins are quite easy. Most of them are just _dying_ to lose it. It doesn't take much. Take them to a fancy restaurant, waste some pretty words that you don't really mean and they will spread their legs and let you come inside by the end of the night. Or the next one if they're willing to make the act go on for a little while longer. And when you toss them away the morning after, they might cry for a while but then are off to find the next jerk."

"What do you want with me then?" I asked, my voice almost desperate.

Donaka pulled me closer to him again and I felt his strong body against mine and the hardness of his erection pressing into my stomach.

"You _weren't_ willing to," he said with relish, grabbing my face and running his fingers through my hair. "You might have _wanted_ to but you resisted. Your foolish, contemptible morals, represented by that stupid cross you were wearing the first day you arrived in Hong Kong, are stronger than your lusts and that's what makes you just what I was looking for...what I _needed_."

Tears were forming in my light eyes, stinging them as I looked steadily into his dark ones. That I had been little more than a puppet he had manipulated others in order to be brought to him so he could get just one more thing that he wanted was painful. To have my beliefs ridiculed on top of it was even worse in a way. Those same tears, however, seemed to soften Donaka again. I saw his gloating expression change to one almost startling in its sincere fondness and gentility. He kissed the top of my head and then started to kiss the tears falling down my cheeks, devouring them.

"But don't think, I didn't want you for _you_ either, Erin," he told me, misreading the source of my sorrow, while he started to kiss my cheeks, my neck and my shoulders. "There's no point for this particular experiment if I wasn't attracted to you physically. That's what made you all the more perfect. If God existed, and didn't hate me, I'd believe that He intentionally placed you right in my path: that He _made_ you for me.

His hands ran all over my body, my butt and my back, my legs and my hips, my arms and my stomach. What made me moan in helplessness was when they found the side swell of my breasts which he proceeded to lower his face into and began to kiss each rounded hilltop passionately. His lips were warm and wet and the sensation was overpowering, coursing all the way to my most intimate region which cried out for more while I verbally cried out an opposing "No!"

He let his tongue trace the line of my cleavage before he finally heeded my word and looked at me lovingly again as if he hadn't just violated me. "I was going crazy waiting to finally see you in person. Not that I hadn't watched you for days on film from the HKPD or the various places they were keeping you at. But seeing someone on a camera isn't the same thing. Even though I have made my fortune off of it. A person emanates something from their every pore, a force, don't you think? An essence of their life. Why, it's even on their breath," he remarked and neared his face to mine so I felt his own, hot breath on my skin. It was making my skin moist where it touched and spreading the same heat that had enclosed me in my unconscious state. I was reminded of God making Adam and breathing His life into the first man ever created.

"You did not disappoint, Erin," Donaka Mark enthused and his words touched my skin as well and were enveloped by it.

"What do you want with me?" I asked, ignoring his compliments and the way I was vainly pleased by them. "You keep saying this is an experiment...what type of an experiment?"

I was trying to appear less scared than I felt. I met his eyes trying to seem confident and more bold.

"You have such beautiful eyes," was all the man answered as he gazed intensely into iris and pupil alike. "I think I could stare into them for the rest of my life and never get tired of getting lost in them."

I was suprised when he suddenly backed away from me and in a singular smooth action stood up from the bed where we were lying.

"Or, at least, for a week," he added ruefully.

Without the man so close to me and being restrained in his embrace, I was able to take the first glance of the room which was to witness both my captivity and Donaka Mark's long hoped for an unexplained experiment. Everything was in white. From the bedsheets to the curtains surrounding the windows which offered views of nothing more than white walls. Everything was ivory, as if the room sought to give the initial impression that a snowfall had taken place inside of it. There was a table by the far corner and chairs, a book shelf with odd curved corners filled with books with white dust jackets and a large comfortable easy chair beside it to read them in. What caught my attention the most, though, was a singular, ornate, full length mirror on one of the four walls which made up the room. I recalled the mirror Tiger Chen had told me about, the one which had secretly hidden a room where his fights had been watched and recorded, and knew that this was how Donaka intended to watch me throughtout my imprisonment.

"It's all white," I commented. "It's bound to get dirty sooner or later."

"True," Mark commented as he placed each of his palms touching the bottom of the bed I was lying on still and leaned over to peer at me, strikingly black amidst the luminescence which lay around and behind him. "Notice anything else?"

I cast another gaze around. "There are no points. Everything is curved or rounded," I answered

He looked tremendously satisfied by my observational skills and deduction. "Exactly. There is no point to being so pure, in the end, is there? Not when it takes so little to become tainted. But it also serves to insure that you can't hurt yourself while you are here. Before I might allow you to leave."

"You plan on letting me go?" I was shocked and saw the glimmer of hope even if it was nothing more than deceit.

"That is up to you, Erin," Donaka informed with a placid expression.

I tried to prop myself up on the bed that was circular also and lie on my back in order to see him with more ease. As I moved my leg, I finally remembered the chip placed inside of my thigh and was filled with relief and gratitude, believing that Suen Jing would find me soon, until I felt a certain soreness in that area. Shifting my bound legs again, the bottom of the babydoll fell to the side and I saw clearly that an incision had been made and then stitched up with white suture to match the lingerie I had been placed in.

This frightened me as much as Donaka's sudden movement. After following the line of my eyesight, he leapt on to the bed and kissed where the chip had obviously been removed from. Seeing his face so close to my white pantied crotch and feeling his kiss so near to it too, my clitoris came to full consciousness just as I had become by then. Raising his head, Donaka glared at me smugly for three seconds and then pushed himself back to the end of the bed in another assurred and fluent movement.

He bent down and picked up an object from off of the floor by his feet and placed it at the end of the bed. It was the same cursed red and gold box I was by now well aquainted with. Donaka opened it, keeping his vision solely on my face the whole time. I watched as he pulled out from the box a small red object. It was only after I narrowed my eyes that I could see that the item was not truly red at all: it was simply covered in blood.

My blood.

"I had Zhao Yifei remove it," he stated, looking at the piece of technology. "It's nowhere near as advanced as what we can manufacture at our company," he criticized like a hard to please father. "Far too crude to be truly effective or impenetrable. It was simple to transfer the signal to another chip...one I sent to a coworker. They are to take it with them on a plane heading back to Canada after a few days of loitering around at your apartment and sitting at your desk at SSA."

I felt the tears returning bitterly again as I realized that Suen Jing-Si would not be aware of my abduction for days. The water flooding my eyes made Donaka Mark wave in my sight like a desert mirage scene captured in an old Hollywood picture.

"This I decided to keep for sentimental purposes," he confessed, eyeing it carefully. "But, I think, now, I should probably destroy it, just incase. I have you, after all; that is infintely better.

Crying, not violently, but with the quiet, accepting terror a captured rabbit must suffer as the tiger takes it away for the feast after playtime is over, I watched as Donaka leaned towards the floor once more and retrieved with his free hand yet another item. His gaze fixed on me, the man placed the bloody computer chip on his bottom lip and then let his tongue come to fetch it. Mark offered to me an elaborate show of its destruction in the form of several slow and exagerrated chews. There was a bit of my blood left on his lips and this touched the rim of the glass filled with white wine he brought to his mouth to help wash the now destroyed chip down his throat. I watched the trace of blood on the rim of the glass and how it spread into the wine itself creating a design which swirled and fittingly resembled a vein of red in the liquid. I saw my captor reflected in the wine glass too. He was reversed and upside down, as I had been in my dream before waking. Feeling the world spin, I became convinced and afraid that the other Donaka, the one with the blood vein tattooed face, was on the verge of swallowing himself whole. But two Donaka Marks remained: one real and the other a mere reflection.

Both the destruction of the chip meant to locate me and the obviously staged performance of it now over, we stared at one another in silence for a few seconds, the hunter and his prey, before Donaka smiled, baring his perfect white teeth.

"Now we can finally have _our_ fun," he declared in calm, expectant delight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That part about being made for Donaka, well I've got to be honest and say that that was what I wish I would be with Keanu Reeves. I guess, it's every fan's wish or anybody who has a really painful crush on someone.
> 
> It's silly and stupid but I'm gonna say it here (although this is probably the wrong entry to do it under given the content) because I'll never get to say it to Keanu Reeves, face to face. Or if I did meet him, I might not have the strength to say it anyway. But since this whole series is a love letter to the man and those are embarrassing anyway, might as well shoot from my overly wide hip. I know he'll probably never read it anyway. I'm not stupid enough to think that a film star has nothing better to do with his time than read fanfiction on the net. But still, I think that I'd be pretty sad if I never actually got the chance to say it.
> 
> Err...type it. 
> 
> Err...whatever.
> 
> I was born only a few miles away from you in a small Ontario town, Keanu Reeves. I'd like to think that I was made for you even if we never meet and you never even know that I exist. It makes me happy to think that, like in a certain chaos theory, you were my butterfly. Only, I like to think of you as a dragonfly because those were, and still are, one of my favorite insects when I was a kid and it suits you far better.
> 
> That one day in Toronto, when you were 13 going on 14, and you were feeling down or even wildly happy maybe you had a thought; even just a small one but important all the same. I'm not even sure what it was or going to attempt trying to make a guess but whatever it was God heard it. Because, you know, He knows what's inside of our hearts and minds. So God got to thinking, because He had a moment to spare in His busy work schedule and He loves you very much, and He thought, "Well I think I'll make someone for that boy. Not sure what she will be to him, daughter figure, sister figure, mother figure, friend, lover, coworker, fan or stranger, they can figure that out, but because I have a spare moment, and I need to take a break right now because I forget to take those sometimes, I'll work on her for him."
> 
> So He sat down and started to design me and He thought, once again, "I'll make her a writer because that Keanu boy likes stories and he will be an actor one day who likes to help tell those too. And I'll have her grow up in a video store because he's always watching movies as well...and I think I'll make her shy because when he's not being a smart alec he can be that also. And I will make her horribly and strongly empathetic. That way, she'll understand him, because being so often misunderstood Myself, I know the incalculable value of being understood."
> 
> And there was God taking a moment, and planning it all out. But once He was done, you see, He needed that one special thing that causes anything to happen: a catalyst. Knowing that I was your idea, he thought he'd give you that responsibility. So, on a certain day in 1978, He nudged you ever so gently to do one action that maybe you normally wouldn't have done or maybe would have done anyway, I don't know. And that set off a string of events that eventually found its way to my parents, who decided on just the right day and time to go at it. Then 8 months later, as God had worked out, I was born. Yes, 8 months because I was premature and that He'd foreseen too.
> 
> And God looked down and He smiled and He thought to Himself again, because He had another free moment, "Good. Now that's done. But it's up to them to see what they will be to each other: daughter, sister, mother, lover, friend, coworker, fan or stranger. Because that is how it works down there. I can push and intervene sometimes but they have to find their own ways. I can't do all of the work myself, even if I wish I could, and, besides, some of the beauty is seeing exactly what they do on their own when given the chance."
> 
> So there you were growing to adulthood, or some semblance of it, in Toronto, while I was taking the first steps of my childhood in a small town you probably never even heard of. And when I was about six or seven years old you left Canada in order to fully realize your dream of becoming an actor and not have to rely on the CBC or CJOH. 
> 
> And on the day you went even farther away from me, I'd like to think I was very sad but also very happy but never really knew the reason why.
> 
> And so now we are all of these years later and you still don't know I'm alive but I know who you are. Or at least I know your name and your face and what you've said in a few interviews, assuming you were being honest. And I think I'll never be anything more than a fan...that I will never meet you and you will never know that I exist but that's alright. Because I like to think that you were my dragonfly beating its wings in the heart of Toronto and I was your tornado only 250 miles away.


	7. Reflections Make Poor Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donaka Mark informs me of the price I must pay him for both my freedom and life.

Donaka Mark was sitting at the table in my pristine prison of white, cutting up a fish of some kind, while I sat across from where he sat, my arms folded across my chest, watching him. The food had been brought in by a man I had never seen before in my life. This man had not said one word but had left when the two dining places had been set and the food served. A similar plate was placed before me but, though it smelled remarkably delicious, I refused to eat any of what my captor offered. Taking a sip out of the glass which had oncd held a tiny drop of my blood, Donaka eyed me as if I were merely a disobedient child who refused to eat.

"You didn't have supper. Eat it."

"Since you have been spying on me all this time, and were hiding out in my apartment, I guess you _would_ know that," I replied back.

"Eat," he ordered calmly, setting his fork down.

"I'm not hungry," I potested but my stomach proceeded to have the nerve to growl at that exact moment and prove my words a lie.

Donaka Mark, with smooth and confident grace, left his chair and came to my own where he proceeded to squat down before my plump and practically bare legs, the babydoll being far too short to sucessfully cover them. He cut off a piece of the untouched fish on my plate and then held it to my mouth. I turned away but he brought the fork to my lips, touching them with the meat. I could tell then that its taste matched its wonderful scent. "Eat," he instructed. "You won't gain anything by _not_ doing it."

His hand rested on my thigh and my stupid little clitoris began to swell again. I took the piece of meat off from the fork, hoping he would go back to his chair and not cause me anymore unwanted arousal. Instead, the man smiled, staring up at me pleased while I chewed the delicious morsel of food. The hand holding the fork brought the utensil to where his hand had previously been on my thigh. Placing the back of it so its cold steel rested against the tender skin of my inner thigh, the prongs facing away from it, Donaka trailed it upwards towards where my white lace panties concealed my crotch. The feel of the fork was cold and I found that it did not move my bud as much as Donaka's touch had. Still the hungry look in the man's eyes was enough to keep it satisfied and burning with expectation. I swatted both the fork and the hand holding it away as if they were a fly simply annoying me by landing where I did not want it to go.

"There's that glorious resistance," Mark said in pleasure as he brought a hand up to touch my face. His thumb gently stroking my cheek was warm in contrast to the coldness offered by the fork and I had to fight showing that I welcomed it in a way that felt like an act of self betrayal.

"So you said that I am the one whom decides if I get out of here or not," I stated trying to adopt the cold steel of the fork still clutched in Mark's hand. "It doesn't seem fair to tease me with that tiny tidbit and not tell me how to play your twisted, egotistical little game."

My captor smiled up at me again filled with self congratulatory satisfaction. He stood swiftly and headed back to his plate of unfinished trout. Pushing it to the side, he stared at me with his piercing brown eyes. "Everything wants to live. Do you agree with that statement?"

"Not lemmings," I remarked boldly.

"Your humor is appealing but not appreciated," he returned. "Do you agree with the statement, for the _most_ part, or not?

I frowned and contemplated it seriously. "I'm a Christian as you noticed from your little covert surveillance and so _contemptuously_ pointed out," I stated. "God referred to himself as 'I Am' to Moses when he encountered Him in the form of a bush that burned but continued to exist. I always took this to mean that He was declaring His existence and that He _is_ life. Being His children, from a gnat to a human, we are too. We all wish to profess 'I Am.' We all want to live and survive unless we have been broken beyond that point. You know...why you made it so there are no sharp edges in this room. Incase your little experiment breaks me..."

Donaka offered me a wry smile and held up his wine glass as if in a toast.

"So yeah...I agree with your statement," I continued. "In my own way, of course. Although I doubt very much that you see it quite the same as I do."

"A philosopher, a mystic _and_ a virgin," Donaka Mark said with a grin. "I really did luck out when you came my way. Remind me to send Suen Jing a Thank You note."

Thinking of the police woman, I still held on vainly to the hope that she would desire to actually hear from me no matter where Donaka Mark was sending the chip with the intercepted signal. She would expect a phone call or something, at least. I said as much to Mark whom only offered me another smug smile. He brought out his red and gold box and I rolled my eyes. "I am really starting to hate that thing," I remarked.

Unfazed by my comment, my former boss removed a small device from the box. It was obviously another little technological piece that Security Systems Alliance had manufactured. He leaned across the table and held it to my face. "Speak," he instructed.

It was almost a replay of the "Eat" incident but this time I refused to give in. I half suspected it had to do with his plot to fool the Superintendent and seeing her as my last possible hope, I wasn't going to so much as breathe into that thing and wreck whatever chance I had of making it out from Donaka Mark's oddly made room and his, as of yet, unstated plans for me.

The man pulled his hand back but seemed in no way upset by my unwillingness to obey his command this time. "It doesn't matter," he said, studying the item. "We already have your voice recorded from your time at the office. I was merely asking for effect."

I watched as he placed the device over his mouth and began to speak. Only it was not Donaka Mark's voice which emerged from his mouth but my own.  
"I'm...I'm so sorry Suen," I heard myself apologizing in the most overwrought and desperate fashion. "I can't do this anymore. I have to go back to Canada...you see...I compromised everything...I slept with Donaka Mark...and I _liked_ it."

"But I didn't!" I exclaimed, glaring at the man who removed the box from his mouth. "And I have no plans to."

He placed the piece of technology back inside of the box. "You will if you want out of here. While you are still breathing, that is," Donaka informed, finally giving me the price I could pay for my freedom and also my life.

"Everything wants to live...to survive," the man returned effortlessly to his former topic of conversation. "I saw that clearly with Tiger. I took an innocent man and made him into a killer for his own survival. It wasn't the riches that finally corrupted him, I discovered. It was self preservation. If that can be done with a man, my thoughts soon turned to the possibility of what a woman would be willing to offer for her own life. I started to think of sex...the possibility of tempting a chaste woman, one whom still clung to some foolish belief in morals and a God, to give herself to me. The problem was that there were so few candidates...until you showed up, Erin. Knowing what I am...a murderer, a corrupter of souls, and holding fast to your antiquated faith, I knew that you would not make the experiment too easy for me."

"So you intend to rape me," I said. "Is that it?"

Before I even could even register the action inside of my mind, Donaka Mark had flown out of his chair and taken hold of me. His hands were grasping me hard enough to cause searing pain throughout my nerves. I cried out in agony as he picked up my large body, as if I weighed only as much as Dumbo's feather, and threw me onto the large, white, circular bed. My back arched as my body bounced once from the impact. But only once. Instantly Donaka was on me, spreading my legs and grasping my chin. He pushed my head back into the soft satin pillow as he proceeded to gaze into my eyes with fierce indignation.

"YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT RAPE?" he shouted into my face. "IF THAT WAS WHAT I WANTED I COULD DO IT AT ANYTIME! THIS ISN'T ABOUT _TAKING_ , ERIN. IT IS ABOUT YOU WILLINGLY _GIVING_ TO A MAN YOU VIEW AS A MONSTER WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN SAVING SINCE YOUR FIRST HEATED PANG OF AROUSAL. THIS IS ABOUT HOW FAR YOU ARE WILLING TO GO TO SURVIVE AND HOW MUCH THE TEMPLE OF YOUR BODY TRULY MEANS TO YOU. THIS IS ABOUT _SURRENDER_!"

I stared back at him, feeling my neck beginning to ache from the position he was holding me in. My throat was fully offered to him, and just like some predator with its prey, all he would need to do to take my life was sink his teeth into it. Our eyes were locked, both of us defiant. Mark's, however, did not contain the fear I felt mingled with my outrage. Nor did they possess the pain. With another thrust of his hand, he pushed my head farther back against the pillow and was off of me. I instantly sat up, holding my chin where I could still feel the pressure of his fingers. Donaka was returning to the table where he drank the last bit of wine in the glass, successfully bringing an end to our supper. He called the servant into the room once more and the man took away the food as if not caring it had hardly been touched on my side."

"I make love to you and I survive," I said, finding the words coming out with some difficulty, my throat still feeling odd from having been stretched by his forceful hand.

"Love has nothing to do with it. Love doesn't exist," Donaka said, turning to face me again. "You will have sex with me in order to get out of here. If you don't, I will kill you."

"What if I were to give in and let you take me right now?" I asked. "If all of the time and effort spent on your experiment went to waste just like the food on my plate?"

He returned to the side of the bed. Leaning down until he was on my level, he smiled. "Well it might make the whole experiment a whole lot shorter than I anticipated, and I'd need to find something else to amuse myself with, but the outcome would be the same. My hypotheses would be correct. I would win and you could safely return to Canada, miraculously transforming my intended lie to Suen Jing into the simple truth."

I briefly considered giving myself to Donaka Mark: To let him have me right there on the bed in order to appease my fear. Feeling the man's touch lingering painfully on my skin, I was frightened by the knowledge of how truly horrendous and agonizing he could make my last few minutes alive. What plans he had made to force my offering my body to him, likewise, terrified me. The man was indeed a monster. I had seen the proof of it lying on Suen Jing's desk, shown written on the face of each of his victims. That was also the reason why I could never surrender. Their blood cried out to me as Abel's had once done to God. To give my virginity to such a creature when every face he had destroyed and every name was burned into my mind was not even a possibility and I vowed secretly and in silence to the man's victims that I never would.

I would rather die first.

"I didn't think so," Donaka Mark said. " Don't worry; I will provide you with the proper motivation soon enough."

I stared into his eyes which seemed as bottomless as space, and saw myself trapped inside of that same black void also. Perhaps that emptiness was the price he had paid for his immortality. "If every creature longs to survive," I asked him. "Tell me, how do you manage to keep escaping death, Donaka Mark?"

He held my gaze for a few seconds longer and then stood up straight. "You don't get to ask that, guinea pig," he remarked before heading to the table.  
I watched him down the length of my body as he went and fetched his cursed box. Donaka turned to gaze at me again, his own body now framed by my two legs. His vision lowered to rest on the place between them; the limbs still parted from his rough demonstration that he could claim me without my consent whenever he wanted. In embarrassment, I realized my position and brought them firmly together. He gazed at me with intense resentment as if I had just barred him from Heaven.

Taking the box, with its sharp and subsequently dangerous corners with him, he left me without saying so much as a single word.

After a few minutes, to my dismay, the room suddenly began to feel lonely. I crawled out of the bed and made my way to the mirror. Although I doubted Mark would be behind it so soon after his departure, probably having many other things to do throughout his role of bussinessman on the surface and madman underneath, it made me feel better to think that someone was there, at least, on the other side watching me. I sat down on the pure white floor with its white furred rug and stared at my own reflection. After a while, studying the frightened looking, overweight woman in the white babydoll, a woman whom remained stubbornly quiet, I realized that one of my life long suspicions was correct:

I made just as poor company as I had always feared.


	8. A Reflection of Eight Points in an Otherwise Pointless Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am paid a visit by Donaka's Doctor and try to find a way to convince my captor to let me go. After a failed attempt, Donaka Mark bestows on me a gift and then officially begins his cruel experiment...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I became behind in updating certain fics this week after hastily coming up with ones for Canada Day and the 4th of July. Those both turned out to be my longest single chapter entries and I was tuckered out after writing 'em! I hope to be back on track this week though! :D <3

Left alone in my luxurious prison and fighting off waves of desperation and loneliness, I began to explore to help distract my mind from the frightening situation I had been forced into. Another more pressing matter further accentuated the necessity. I hadn't used the bathroom since I had left SSA and had a small bladder which often needed emptying to the point of pain. On the side of the room containing the mirror, and in between it and the circular bed, was a door. I tried it cautiously, half expecting an electrical shock, and found the needed toilet along with a shower on the other side. There was no mirror in the room. Infact, the only mirror available to me appeared to be the one which was also Donaka's primary means of spying on and recording me. Rushing to the toilet, I soon discovered another point that my captor seemed to be intending to make: purity, besides being pointless and destined to become dirty, was also soft and weak. The toilet seat was cushioned to the point of excess as had been the chair and table where I had dined with the man. Apparently he feared my smashing my head against any object which was hard besides slitting my wrists or throat with a sharp object. Standing and finishing the paperwork, I felt the wall behind the porcelain throne and discovered it was padded. My cell was like those rooms one saw in Hollywood productions featuring an asylum: the rooms where particularly crazed inmates whom posed a danger to themselves were placed.

I looked to my arms and saw the faded scars of old wounds I had left myself with during moments of self hate and pain. Had Mark noticed them during our brief encounters in his offices at SSA and the back of his limousine? Knowing whom I had been all along, maybe the businessman and killer's research had unearthed that particularly painful truth about myself that I had wished to keep hidden even from Suen Jing-Si:

That I was my own worst enemy both mentally and physically.

At least until Donaka Mark had entered my life.

* * *

Zhao Yifei was allowed entrance to my room three days after my abduction. She barely said anything to me other than a few instructions so that she could examine the stitches where she had removed the computer chip from my thigh. I sat on the rim of my bed while she studied her handiwork.

"Won't you help me?" I pleaded in a whisper, hoping that my head was blocked by her own in the view of the blasted mirror.

She remained silent. Obviously money had the power to close her ears more than my desperation had the force to open them.

"The stitches can be removed in a few days," she stated, standing up and gazing down at me coldly.

"Great," I sighed. "That makes me feel _so_ much better."

"You should be honored Donaka Mark wants you at all," she said. "You have obviously mistreated your body...putting too much weight on it...threatening to overstrain your organs."

" _Oh goody_ ," I thought, holding myself in my small babydoll lingerie. " _Now, on top of it all, I get to be called fat too_."

I looked up into her face and saw something in the Doctor's eyes I had not expected to: jealousy. Obviously Donaka Mark's private physician was in love with her patient and having to oversee his little sexual experiment involving another woman had created a crack in her usual calm and cool reserve.

"You can _have_ him," I told her. "He's all yours. I like my men without blood on their hands."

She looked startled for only a second before she adorned her mask of frigidity once more. "I merely do not understand how a man whom respects his body, treating it as his temple, and is also devoted to this land has decided to waste his time with a foreign _pig_ as yourself."

Her face may have returned to her indifference but obviously the emotions roiling beneath it were still in a less pleasant mood.

"Maybe he needs a body where there is more room to _party_ ," I said, looking up at her defiantly and holding my arms with more attitude as I recalled the lyrics from an old Whodini song. I did not want Donaka Mark for myself but I wasn't about to sit there and let his one hundred pound personal physician fat shame me when obviously her boss preferred my more abundant and fleshy frame to her sticky one.

The woman's hand shot out and struck my cheek but I wouldn't give her the pleasure of crying from the sting caused by the impact. I just continued to glare at her.

"Or did he try you out once and not like what he found for seconds," I boldly added after a few seconds.

Zhao's arm was held back once more as she prepared to strike me again but a man's deep voice stopped it midflight.

"ZHAO YiFEI!" Donaka Mark shouted, having appeared in the doorway and staring at the Doctor in disappointed reproach. "That will be all," he instructed.

Yifei would not look at me again. She stepped towards the door and walked past her employee and crush after a brief nod which he returned.

Donaka walked instantly towards where I was sitting. Squatting down he looked at what I knew was the red imprint of Zhao's hand on my cheek. With the whiteness of the room and my pale skin I understood that it would stand out even more. The man's fingertips went to the skin there almost lovingly and touched it sending a sensation both uncomfortable and thrilling all at once to my face.

"Your Doctor's bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired," I remarked.

"I'm sorry," he said, still massaging where she had slapped me but now I was unsure if he wanted to heal it himself or only make it ache for longer by his mere touch.

"Why?" I said. "This one _isn't_ your fault."

I looked to the mirror and saw us reflected in it. "So did you catch it all on your own private little show?" I asked nodding at it.

Mark refused to reply.

"Tiger told me all about your mirrors," I stated.

"Anything Tiger _didn't_ tell you," Donaka Mark asked, staring up at me with a smirk on his handsome face.

I remembered my discussion with the small man and how he _had_ refused to tell me one thing. "Who is the man behind the mask?" I asked Mark as he stopped stroking my cheek and rested his large hands on my bare knees instead, keeping his head tilted upwards to gaze at me thoughtfully. "Your private executioner."

Donaka Mark smiled in confusion. "Now I wonder why Tiger decided to keep _that_ to himself?"

"He told Suen that it had to do with fate."

My tormentor looked well pleased. His right hand returned to my cheek while his left began to squeeze my knee. It was a sensation which always felt odd to me when my grandfather used to do it to both my sister and I. It was ticklish and oddly sensual although I could never admit as much when I was younger and embarrassed by the way it made me feel. "It doesn't really matter," Donaka stated. "Do you really need to know? Just know this: that mask will be the last thing you see when I have grown tired of you and our little game."

I shivered while Donaka stroked my cheek with his thumb. Suddenly he returned it to its former resting spot and started to squeeze the knee there again, making me shift as his touch shot straight up to the space between my plump thighs. "Unless you give in to my one simple request," Donaka stated. While his hands persisted on fondling my knees, he brought his lips to the soft flesh on one of the thighs and kissed it tenderly, making me shiver, as his lips worked their way higher.

"No," I said, knowing that that was all I needed to say to make him go no further.

While Donaka stopped his head's journey towards my crotch, his hands continued to squeeze while he met my eyes once more. "Erin...tell me...when I chloroformed you...did you come?"

I looked away in embarrassment.

"I thought so," he said and kissed my knee. "I felt your body trembling in my hands...and I got so hard it took all of my strength not to lie you down on the bathroom floor, jerk myself off and come all over that pretty, sleeping face of yours. But, unfortunately, time was of the essence and I had to get us both out of there quickly."

Arousal flashed through me, as strong as when he had been kissing my thigh. The picture in my head of his strong hands working himself as he stood over my sleeping body, having become aroused in turn by bringing me to orgasm was exciting me. It was like some image of Prince Charming pleasuring himself over Sleeping Beauty's unconscious form before attempting to waken her. I tried to focus on his victims instead to squelch the fire growing in that area so very close to his face.

"Thank you for controlling yourself," I said curtly, remembering a certain young man Donaka Mark had corrupted; one who had left behind a young baby daughter whom would never meet her father; Donaka had introduced him to the man in the mask shortly before her birth.

Donaka stared at me for a few seconds before standing abruptly and heading for the door.

"Please," I pleaded, rushing after him before he exited, more afraid of being left alone in the eerie prison he had built for me than anything else in that moment. "Please let me go."

Stopping with his hand on the control panel which would unlock the door, he turned and walked back towards me until he was less than three inches away from my body. "Care to get on your _knees_ and ask me that?" he inquired.

"You're not God," I spat. "I won't kneel like that for anyone else."

"Well how about you get on your knees for some other reason then," he suggested, closing the distance so there was no longer a space between us at all.

"When I was about nine years old," I reminisced, swallowing harshly. "This boy was teasing me. He caused me to drop the book I was holding and when I bent down to pick it up he acted to his friend as if I was going to blow him. I felt so angry, ashamed and humiliated. I can remember that book and the dog on the cover even though otherwise I probably would have forgotten it. You're no better than that little boy or a dog, Donaka Mark."

My words didn't effect the man as I had hoped. Instead of being insulted or embarrased he only looked excited instead. His hands went to my back and started to cup the bottom of the bare cheeks sticking out from the small white panties I was wearing. "I bet you were a sweet child, Erin. An innocent little girl...one waiting to come to me so I could show her just how _good_ it feels to be bad..."

His hand was tracing the crevice between my buttocks through the lace. And, God help me, it _did_ feel good. I backed away, blushing, although the act was probably hidden on the half of my face which had born the slap from Zhao Yifei. "Maybe," I said. "But guilt...the guilt afterwards never would."

Donaka looked slightly taken back by my statement. He had never expected me to half agree with him but also never guessed I would carry it logically through to the next resulting emotion I would feel. As if to hide his unwanted surprise, he turned to the door hastily to leave. Standing in the frame, he spun around, however, before completing his departure. "Don't worry. You don't get out of here by going on your knees anyway. I'm not after your _mouth_ , even if that would be nice too."

The door was shut quickly and my feeling of loneliness and disturbance returned with a speed to match.

* * *

Meals were routinely brought to me and I inevitably ate them, having grown too hungry not to. I did not see Donaka Mark again and knew somehow that the man was waiting until my stitches could be removed. Then he would deem me as completely healed in order for his experiment to truly begin.

Counting the days, my unnerved state and fear grew as I waited to see what the first act committed in order to persuade me to give myself to him would be. In this silence and isolation, my mind began to try to find some escape. Donaka seemed so intent on my innocence I foolishly started to hope that I could convince him otherwise.

On the day, Zhao returned to remove the stitches my fear was almost overwhelming. However, I had thought of something I could try.

Sitting before the sole mirror and Donaka's portal to view me, I slowly removed my lace panties and tossed them to the side. Spreading my legs, I could see my fur covered mound reflected in the mirror and my closely pressed together folds, my babydoll being far too short to successfully cover anything now that the underwear was off. I slid the straps of the lingerie also lower to reveal my large but imperfect breasts in the mirror across from where I sat. Another exposed self faced me, one, which like Zhao Yifei, I could not believe the attractive fit Donaka Mark could possibly want, and I watched as she dipped her fingers inside her curtains in order to find her bud just as I was. I manipulated the clit with no real heat or response in the beginning. It remained physical self stimulation alone and this rarely did anything for me. I needed a fantasy to arouse me or else Donaka Mark would fail to see me as anything but the innocent fool he already did.

There was no image I could form inside of my mind that was bringing me to the state of sexual arousal where I needed to be. Only when my thoughts went to the businessman kissing and fondling me in the backseat of his limo did I start to become turned on. Remembering his hands on me, his lips, I was finally feeling my clit coming to life as I rubbed it. I gasped and started to feel my nipples with my free hand, pulling and massaging them, imagining that they were Donaka's hands and not my own. I spread my legs wider, seeing my labia reddening in the reflection before me and my bud becoming an angry thing, emerging from its hood as my fingers worked it.

My excitation grew with the realization that Donaka was watching me hopefully and suffering his body's own reactions from becoming aroused. Thinking that I was giving him pleasure too, pushed me faster towards ecstasy. I was swelling quickly down there, cream falling out as my clitoris became enflamed. "Ohhhhh," I said, thrusting my chest upwards as I fell onto the floor, resting my head to the side so the mirror could watch my face in my bliss.

My fantasy turned to envisioning that I was back on the bathroom floor of my small apartment in Hong Kong and that Mark had gotten his wish to masturbate over my unconscious body. In my mind, I saw his hand going up and down the shaft of his swollen and erect penis. I saw him cupping his ball sack and squeezing it as well. In delightful detail, I painted Donaka's expression as he brought himself to climax while he kept his gaze fixed on my sleeping face. And when he finally ejaculated I imagined it falling onto my face, as well, my mouth opening and catching his seed inside of it as my eyelids slowly raised, the final bit of come hitting my cheeks, nose and forehead; as if this had the power to wake me just as equally as much as any kiss from his lips.

Gasping and calling out, I felt myself coming and watched fluid gushing out from my cunt as it started to twitch and convulse sending everything down there off in a violent dance. I wanted to call out my fantasy lover's name but stopped myself before I did.

After my spasming, I made more of a show for the man, bending over on hands and knees and offering him the sight of me playing with my ass. I felt arousal again once more from the thought that I was making Donaka Mark hard in the pants of his expensive suit. I thought of going on my knees to take his member in my mouth, after all, and sucking and licking him all the way to his own orgasm, his come set to be completely contained in my mouth this time. I was so aroused again that I quickly turned and fell on the rear end I had just been playing with to bring myself to another climax as I sat spread legged in front of the mirror picturing Donaka Mark's cock full and shooting off as it was held safely between my lips.

Another loud and desperate cry escaped me and I sat there trying to catch my breath and trying not to linger on what it would feel like to actually do the things I had only imagined. But just as I had mentioned to my captor previously, guilt soon flooded in afterwards knowing the true nature of the man I had been using to make myself orgasm. It seemed hypocritcal and wrong to try to repulse the man by similarly pleasing myself with thoughts of him. Acting as if I was simply going to the bathroom to clean up, I collapsed once I closed the door and started to weep, feeling as if I had already betrayed dead men I had never really met.

And myself too.

* * *

The next day Donaka Mark came to see me again. I had been reading one of the strange circular books from the shelf in the equally rounded chair. This one had been about Chinese bonsai trees, which had fascinated me since childhood. I put it to the side, though, when the man came into the room. Donaka picked it up instantly and smiled. "Should have printed it on an actual bonsai, don't you think?"

"Would have had to be awfully small printing then," I commented.

I saw him glancing at my milky thighs. "That was quite the show you put on yesterday. That will _definitely_ receive repeated playback on my player."

I looked at him expectantly.

"But if you thought that would disuade me, you should know, Erin, if everybody lost their innocence from playing around with themselves then nobody would ever be innocent at all. Can you remember the first time you did?"  
I blushed recalling often touching myself down there when I was about three and unaware of sex altogether.

"I rest my case," Donaka said smugly. "Besides you'll only get out of here when my penis meets your clean, unspoilt vagina. Infact, I have vowed to myself that that is the first place I will come inside of you, Erin. Not your hand, not your mouth but your tight, unknown cunt."

I frowned and refused to look at him.

"Come here," Donaka said, "I have something to give you."

The man grasped my hand and pulled me out of the chair, bringing me to the mirror where he had witnessed my masturbation. Standing behind me, the man placed a gold chain around my neck and I saw at the end it a symbol I was very familiar with.

"This isn't the one you brought with you from Canada," he wispered, his breath hot on my neck. "But I bet it costs a hell of a lot more."

I fingered the beautiful diamond and ruby encrusted golden cross as it rested between my breasts. It felt as cold against my skin as Donaka's breath had been warm and I shivered. "Why would you give this to me if you felt contempt for what it represents?" I asked in a whisper. "When it has edges to?"

He grasped one of my shoulders in each of his hands and I saw him gazing at me fondly in the mirror. "Because it is so much a part of my favorite little guinea pig. And I know you'd find it sacrilege to end your life with it so the edges don't matter. Besides you'll need your faith for what I have in store for you."

In the reflection, I saw that other Donaka Mark's expression change for a second once again as he studied my profile. Almost as if he couldn't help himself, his lips suddenly were pressed into my cheek as his hand pushed the other one to turn my face closer towards his. His lips touched my nerves, sending a thrill to my nipples which I saw partly emerging through the lace of my babydoll. What touched me even more, though, was the sign of a faith he didn't share but had given to me and the strange look which had crossed his face for a single second before he had kissed me. It had been helpless in its way. And as vulnerable as I felt.

I saw him as human then despite the blackness of his soul.

Steeling myself, I scolded the compassion inside of my soul for the man. Donaka Mark showed no mercy to any human being so he deserved none himself, I reprimanded.

When I refused to kiss him in return, Mark pushed me away forcefully. I fell into the mirror and then fell to the floor, looking up from my place there while my captor clapped his hands loudly twice. A group of four women appeared and began to gather certain articles from my prison.

"I think your room needs a cleaning," Donaka Mark said. "Fresh sheets, new curtains...Don't worry. I'll return them when they're washed. _If_ you're still here that is."

I quickly cast my eyes on the women as they removed the bedclothes and the curtains. In fact they were taking anything that was cloth away from the room.

Anything that was _warm_.

As the women filed out of my once comfortable cage, one at a time as if in a choreographed stage play, Donaka Mark soon followed them, leaving my prison backwards, his eyes remaining on me with every single reversed step.

"You think me _cold_?" Donaka asked once again standing in the threshold of the only way I knew out of my captivity. "On the contrary, soon you will see just how _warm_ I can be."

He smiled at me maliciously as the door slid shut in front of him and the first breath of a chilled wind found me.


	9. Reflection in a Frozen Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I suffer Donaka Mark's first experiment to make me succumb to him.

That first chill wind proceeded on slowly stealing each semblance of warmth from my prison. It was lethargic in its pace but relentless in its intent and all I could do was hold myself in my thin and lacy babydoll and watch in helpless fear as my room turned a temperature to match its snowy shade.

Being from Canada, I was more used to the cold than if Donaka Mark had chosen his prisoner from someplace warm like Los Angeles or Hawaii. There had even once been a time when my family could not afford to replace our ancient and cracked heater and we had needed to switch to heating only the sole rooms we used inside of our house with space heaters. I would go into the living room and see my breath escaping from my mouth like a small cloud before me. Now in horror, I found myself able to do the same. Watching my own breath, I wished that it was the smoke it resembled for then I could believe that there was a fire someplace and not just my body alone which remained warm in the room. My body too was growing cold, wearing nothing but my skimpy lingerie and fully realizing why Donaka had taken any other bit of fabric which might have shared some warmth with me. I tried to pry the soft fur carpet off from the floor to nestle into it but it would not allow me to, never giving way to my frantic tugging. And since there were no sharp objects to be found, there was no hope of me being able to cut it off.

If there was one other source of heat in the room, I saw that it was my captor's voyeuristic mirror. I ran to its surface seeing another slowly freezing woman running in imitation towards me. Placing my palms on the glass, I felt a bit of heat coming from it and smiled. Donaka, if he wished to continue to spy on me, could not help but keep the glass of his camera properly warmed unless it became frozen and stole from him his source of entertainment. I breathed on to the mirror's surface and then placed my body up to the glass. My chin rested against some of my own breath and it was warm and wet. As my breasts kissed the mirror, pushing their soft, living tissue against its hard unliving one, I thought of the view Donaka Mark was getting on the other side of the glass. My nipples, having been coaxed to emerge due to the coldness of the room, were probably all the more visible through the babydoll and were pressed against the glass for his viewing pleasure. I fought my arousal at the thought of turning him on again and ignored my twitching vagina trying to focus on the heat more than titillating my tormentor.

It did not take long for Mark to counter my discovery of how to regain some form of warmth inside of his cold room experiment. Suddenly I felt the mirror catch the frosty contagion and I realized with almost a dull apathy that there must be one other camera inside of the room for the man to watch me from. When the glass had lost its last offering of heat, I moved away from it, holding my hands underneath my armpits and searched for some sign of the blasted thing. No matter how hard I searched, though, its location remained a mystery and I realized that when SSA could make a security camera fit on a tie clip I had very little chance of finding the other means of Mark's keeping an eye on his new favorite little guinea pig.

The cross the man had given to me remained cold against the skin of my breasts and I found myself removing it once the icy metal started to irritate too much. The truth of what it represented stayed inside of my heart and I knew that to be far warmer. In normal conditions, I understood, that when I died, my outer skin would grow cold first, being a part of but separate at the same time from its inner workings. This would regularly take a couple of hours. But my core would vainly but still sucessfully cling on to some heat for about a day. Being in my frozen prison, I had no idea how the plummeted temperature would affect the whole process of my metabolism but it comforted me to think that the symbolic area of my Christian faith, my heart, would remain warm for as long as it could. I only hoped that my soul would be safely with its Maker by the time my body had grown cold and wouldn't be heading in a direction where, while heat would no longer be a problem, I would find myself regretting ever having yearned for the return of it.

Gently I placed the cross inside one of the odd books on the shelf, this one dealing with ancient Chinese mysticism and caught one specific line while doing so:

**If a part of the soul can be hidden inside of the proper vessel than the hopes of immortality can be achieved if the soul is returned to the body shortly after death.**

_"Sad you can't hide a bit of life inside of a box. But life is meant for bodies, flesh and blood, nothing else is good enough: It needs what you can make bleed."_

I flashed back to Donaka's words to me the day inside of his office when he had shown me his box. Was this how the man had achieved his constant resurrections? Did he hide a part of himself in a human body? I was quickly browsing through the book to find out if I was right when I heard the door opening with what I assumed was to be my evening meal.

My hatred of Donaka Mark and my respect for his cruel wit were in full force as I watched my waiter bring in for my eating enjoyment the following foods: a bowl of gazpacho soup, some salad contructed of iceberg lettuce, ice cream for dessert and a slushie to wash it all down with.

It seemed that he intended to chill me on the inside as quickly as possible too.

* * *

As time progressed, and I could never really tell what the time actually was inside of my room deprived of clock or watch, the cold took more and more warmth from my body. A chill was settling on me that I found difficult to escape. I found myself contstantly moving in an attempt to keep my blood running and to regain some of my heat. At the same time, I felt myself becoming drowsy and on the verge of a sleep I did not want. If I slept, it was possible, I might never wake up. I was losing feeling throughout my body. My thigh, which had once contained a computer chip meant to track me, could be touched and not feel a single sensation. I was contemplating of even my soul was beginning to feel like a sheet of glass covered in frost and about to crack when the door opened and Donaka Mark walked in carrying a baby blue blanket in his hands. He was wearing a new dark suit, a suit which he still looked dazzling in despite my resentment of him for having frozen my body to such a painful degree.

"Here," he said, handing the blanket out towards me.

Doubting him, I stayed where I was my hands still under the pits of my freezing arms.

" _Here_ ," he repeated both irritated and strangely concerned.

Looking into his dark and twinkling eyes, I saw no harm in trying to take it from him but had my doubt confirmed that it was a trick when, in the moment my fingers left their warm space to grasp the edge of the offered piece of warmth, Donaka pulled it away from me.

"On second thought," he said, holding it to his suit and studying it it intently. "It will do no good on its own."

He then looked at me with the most smug grin I had possibly ever seen on a human's face.

Placing the blanket on the ground, Donaka Mark placed his shining and polished shoe firmly on it. His eyes focused on my shivering frame, I watched as he started to undress. His movements were slow and deliberate, as if the coldness of the room meant very little to him. Remembering he had already cheated death twice, I wondered if some recollection and personal experience of rigor mortis had made him somehow invunerable to it.

Thinking of the book and watching my captor removing the clothing from his body, I thought of the brief passage I had seen in the book on mysticism.

"Y-y-you h-h-id-d-d a a a p--p-part of y-y-yourse-se-self a-away?" I accused through chattering teeth. "Th-th-that's w-w-why you a-a-aren't d-d-dead?"

He smiled at me as he unbuttoned his shirt. "Bet you wish I was now, don't you?"

He hadn't really answered my question but he was telling the truth about guessing what my own would be.

"You really shouldn't," Mark said more seriously as he unbuckled his belt. "Then I'd be cold...I'm better use to you living and _warm_."

I shivered as he took off his shoes and socks and then removed his pants, seeing him in his boxers and the shape of his semi-hard length inside of them. Wanting to look away, I found my eyes traitorous things which watched in curiosity as Donaka Mark discarded the last article of clothing from off of his finely shaped and attractive body and stood before me completely naked. His cock was half risen, impressive and frightening. It seemed to be standing there declaring that it could not be intimidated by the cold which surrounded it but proudly retained its warmth and the blood flowing to it. I felt my own lower regions flash with a wonderful heat at its sight and my mind suddenly focused on the organ as the single most prominent source of heat in the room. The large balls below the erection also suddenly seemed all too warm, as well, and my knees wanted to fall before it, not in obeisance, but so I could start kissing them and also the dick above them to finally suck some precious heat back into my body.

Looking at my eyes continually darting to his package, Mark smirked in gloating pride and bent down to retrieve the blanket. Unfurling it, he placed the object over his strong, wide shoulders. "Come to me," he instructed. "Get some warmth finally back into that beautiful, big body of yours."

I held myself so I would not be tempted to follow his command and hold on to him instead.

Donaka Mark stared at me and I lowered my eyes to avoid looking into them. They were hynoptic in their way and I was afraid that they could pull me towards him. My soul saw its chance to regain its warmth in his gaze. Of course, maybe, it was the fact that he was the sole person that I interacted with these days that made him attractive and human to me suddenly. Words needed to be shared as did feelings and without his presence mine would have nowhere to go and I would truly be alone. I felt my eyes rising to the man's once more, seeing his balls and still erect penis along the way, and they finally reached Mark's face where his eyes looked on me with something akin to affection.

"I'll just hold you," he stated. "Nothing more unless you want me to."

It was the statement I had heard some men used towards women they intended to seduce...let's just take off our clothes...we'll hold each other...that's it. But it wasn't all that they wanted anymore than it was what the man standing naked before me wanted.

But those women hadn't been literally freezing to death.

Instinctively I ran into the man's waiting arms placing my own ones around him and experiencing that first blissful sensation of feeling heat once more. Donaka accepted my cold touch without shivering and I felt his big, warm hand on the small of my back. "This won't work, though, either," he cooed seductively into my ear. "We'll need to be skin to skin to warm you up good and proper."

I cried out as I felt his hand grasp my babydoll and then ripped it off from my body in one horrible pull. It made a loud, terrible sound as he tore it from my plump body and then I felt him repeat the act with my lacy underwear. I began to cry into his chest, feeling my breasts against it and my untamed growth of pubic hair against his thigh. "I...I look bad," I said.

My body wasn't like those of the women in the magazines. Although I had already shown it to the man when I had played with myself in the mirror, I feared being next to him and conscious when he was this close to me. His reaction frightened me more than the response of a villain should have; it mattered too much to me.

"You think I haven't seen a real woman?" he asked with a small laugh. "Dirty pictures from the invention of photography and film and before plastic surgery and airbrushing...I collect them, Erin. Old artwork...it reminds me of the past and how women _really_ are meant to look."

The hair stood up on my body as I read between his words and thought of a possibility that had never previously occurred to me. "How...o-old are y-you?" I asked.

"Old enough," Donaka Mark said and laughed bitterly while he fondled my breast.

I started to cry more loudly because I was aroused again without meaning to be and I hated the way he continually controlled my body without my willing him to. I was cold and tired and turned on; all things I did not want to be

"Shh...shh.." he whispered taking my head in his hands and making us fall to the floor so we were sitting on it. There he held me closer to his warm body which I delighted in. "It's okay. Aren't you warmer now?" he asked.

He was right. With my newly exposed skin touching his own under the blanket we were sharing, the warmth from his body was quickly flooding my own and the feeling of it was one of the most powerful I had ever experienced. The regaining of warmth had always been a secret delight to me.

"I...I remember in C-Canada it b-being so c-cold," I said, pressing my head next to the skin where Donaka's heart was beating. "I...I liked the f-feeling of g-going inside after being out...w-when the heat came flooding b-back. That was like b-being reborn."

"I know that feeling all too well," Mark said almost sadly.

My soul was thawing again along with my compassion and without intent I was giving it to a monster. I found myself kissing the nipple by my lips and it was the first time Donaka Mark had shivered since he had entered my room. He lowered his face towards mine while he lifted my head upwards. Lightly his lips brushed against my own and they were so warm that I felt myself catching my former boss' earlier action of shivering. His lips told of the heat I could find in his mouth if I wanted to. Impulsively I accepted the invitation and Donaka welcomed my kiss and returned it lustfully. I felt his hand cupping my buttocks and bestowing upon them the warmth from his large palms.

"Unhhh," I moaned, breaking the union of our lips from the experience of the thawing of my thighs from both the man's kiss and touch .

Donaka pushed his head into my breasts and began to kiss and lick them with his hot, wet tongue, making them come to life too by exchanging their numbness for arousal. When his hand grabbed one lump of flesh and lifted it so his mouth could clasp the teat, another flash of deep thaw shooted throughout my body.

"Ohhhh..." I sounded breathlessly as Mark did the same with my other nipple.

My clitoris was becoming angry between my reawakened thighs and I gasped as the man's fingers found it and toyed with it in the same way that his tongue was playing with each teat. Gentle flicks and carresses making my body go crazy. My hand lowered to try to remove the man's hand from my crotch but bumped into his erection on its journey and became wet with its steady flow of precum. The fluid was as blessedly warm as the man's saliva covering my chest and I found my fingers forgetting their destination to play with the cock some more to coax from it some more of its wonderful ambrosia. Donaka growled in pleasure and removed his head from the cradle of my breasts to watch me coat my face with his precum.

"So _warm_ ," I mumbled feeling it touching the skin on my cheeks. "So warm." I quickly repositioned my body so I was facing Donaka Mark and enthusiatically began pumping his cock to make more of the liquid come out. As I did, Mark returned his head to the large mounds of my breasts while his hands forcefully grabbed my fat ass. More precum was leaking out from the divinely hot organ and I recoated my face, neck and shoulders with the fluid before beginning to work Donaka Mark's penis with even more relish. If this was how warm his precum was I desired the heat of his seed which was deeper in and had been brewing for far longer.

Donaka took his head from out of my breasts as my other hand found his balls and began to tease them. The man threw it back as he filled my frozen room with a loud roar. The blanket slipped off from his shoulders and I caught a glimpse of us fully in the mirror which had thawed somehow and lost its frost; we sat like a naked and lewd sculpture on the floor in the middle of the room, my hand greedily running up and down the length of Donaka's cock, which stood startling red and contrasted by the white room, between us. I saw the expression on Mark's face as his head was back; the look was one of supreme ecstasy as I was pleasuring him very much to his liking.

A little too well perhaps.

"No," he said, suddenly taking my hands and moving them to his back. Grabbing my hips, Donaka lifted them and pulled me closer towards him. I fell against his strong chest with my bottom aimed so that his cock was between my legs and my body was prepared to be impaled on it. "My cock coming inside of you; that is how it works."

Having felt it brush against the tender flesh of my perineum for a second, I had no greater desire than for the man's member to enter me and unleash its heat to my core. I wanted my walls to embrace the hard, swollen length and regain every bit of lost warmth, to feel his cum flowing like a hot spring inside of my womb. I was getting ready to lower my ready cunt down on that piece of swollen flesh when I caught another glimpse of us in the mirror and suddenly realized the reason _why_ I could see the reflection of our passion...

Donaka Mark had known I would surrender to him.  
I gazed down into the face of the man staring up at me in boastful victory and I suddenly saw him as a creature whose warmth was as unnatural as that the looking glass had offered to me when I had held it. It was superficial and without depth, uncaring in its existence. Staring into his dark eyes, almost like coal in that moment, I saw myself among his victims, the innocent and the corrupted, all of whom were gazing at me coldly for having forgotten them when faced with Donaka Mark's warm body and even warmer cock.

"NO!" I cried, pushing my body back towards the bed and far away from him.

"NO!" Donaka screamed as well and immediately grabbed me from behind, his body over my back and his cock, which was as angry as his temperment, pressed with brutal insistence into my left butt cheek.

He wanted me fiercely, I knew, having tasted victory so close and then ripped away like when he torn the babydoll from my body. But I lay on the ground which offered no warmth of real substance, denying his demands by repeating one word over and over again. "No, no, no, no..."

Mark rose to his feet and glared down at me. "Fine. Freeze. Die with your precious little layer and your foolish virtue just as intact."

He set loose a gob of spit which landed on the small of my naked back, gathered his clothing and the blanket and left, his cock as unsatisfied as his ego. Though I was alone, I stayed in the same position for a while, the man's fluid still on my fingers, chastising myself for almost having given in and the fact that I was now regretting that I hadn't.

Suddenly I remembered the thawed mirror. Clumsily, I went to it and felt its still present warm although it did not remain that way for long. When it grew cold once more, I backed away and saw that same overweight woman within it, this time completely naked, looking back at me, her face smeared with her captor's precum. She looked so sad that I wished to make her happy before the glass became excessively cold once more and Jack Frost stole her away and left me truly alone. Going closer I breathed on the glassy surface and then drew a happy face on it with my finger still covered thickly in Donaka's fluid, the harbinger of his seed. Sitting back, I stared at the woman and sat so the drawing was over the reflection of my head. Content with the placement of the happy face sitting on top of the naked body, I smiled before I lay my head down on the carpet and allowed myself to slumber, aware that there was no prince to awaken me from a sleep I was unlikely to return from.

* * *

Warmth reached me before death.

One minute I was in a cold darkness and the next I was lying on my bed again inside of my prison. Only the bedsheets had been returned along with the curtains. I was under a pile of blankets which suddenly felt too warm and wearing a mink soft pair of pajamas. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I saw Donaka Mark's magnificent back and noted how his face was aimed in the direction on the mirror.

"Why?" I simply asked him, knowing he would understand I was asking why he had saved me. For that was the only reason for my awakening. 

"You almost gave in for a second," he replied, turning his head slightly so I was given the view of his left eye. "I didn't wait this long and waste this much money to give up so quickly."

I watched him stand and walk towards the end of the bed. "Besides, like God, I have other things to test you," he stated, standing straight and fixing his tie, giving the appearance that it didn't really matter because he hardly really gave a damn whether I lived or died anyway; he might as well let me breathe for just a little while longer when it came down to it.

But after he had left with that same casual indifference, and though he did not turn to look at me, in his absence I was given the opportunity to see fully what he had been staring at so intently in the mirror. I discovered it to be nothing more or less than the happy face I had drawn in my breath and with his precome, still smiling in its foolish and comforting way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter marks over 500000 words for this series! Yay! :D <3


	10. A Reflection of Tainted Innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After informing me that he will be away on business, Donaka Mark gives me another gift.

The happy face came to haunt me as much as it seemed to Donaka. Everytime I saw it, memories of how the man's penis had felt so perfectly placed in the palm my hand, and how wonderful its overflowing of precum had too, came powerfully flooding back to me. It was with that same precum I had drawn the iconographic image on to the mirror but not before I had covered my face and upper body in that same heated fluid. With images of Donaka Mark touching my naked flesh and bringing me to a heightened sense of arousal, I quickly rushed to the washroom and gathered some soap and water to wash the grinning face away.

The hot water came on after its hiatus. When the businessman had been trying out his first test on me, the water heater must have been turned off, for the only water which had emerged from the faucet had been horribly cold. At one point, it had not even spit that out, a layer of ice having blocked off its exit way. Now it was blessedly back though. I couldn't help but splash some of it on to my face and body, delighting in the sensation until the remembrance of painting my body with Mark's precum returned equally as strong. I grabbed the edge of the sink to steady myself, wondering who had washed the stuff from off of my body after I had passed out. Was it the same person who had changed me into the soft and warm pajamas I was currently wearing? I knew strongly, instinctively, that Mark had handled the matter himself. Possessing a strong obsession over my virginity, he would not allow anyone else beside Zhao Yifei to touch me. And even that was arguably because she was a Doctor and he did not desire my death before the completion of his experiment.  
I then thought about how the man had always just accepted my body the way it was when I could only see its faults. He still wanted me despite my weight and imperfections.

Shaking my head, I knew I had to be careful: The man's acceptance of me was far too powerful a magnet. The fact that a man as handsome, powerful and, in his own evil way, _charming_ as Donaka Mark was interested in and attracted to me was making my heart glow with its own heat, one which had little to do with the room being warmed up along with my body temperature. My sympathy was also beginning to burn for him, as well. Remembering the sad slope of his shoulders while his back had been turned towards me, facing the mirror, drew from my soul some kinder unexpected emotions for the man.

That was another reason why the happy face drawn in his precum _had_ to go.

I quickly grabbed a fresh towel, these having returned to the bathroom too, soaked it in water hot enough to make the terry cloth steam, and grabbing a bar of soap rushed back to the main part of my prison.  
Getting on my knees, I started to wash away what I had once believed would be my final bit of artwork left in this world. While I scrubbed its mirthful countenance off from the mirror, I wondered if Mark was watching me on the other side. It was a foolish thought really. Even if he wasn't, having returned to SSA in order to keep up appearances and add to his already staggering wealth and power, I knew that he would probably rewatch the recordings at his leisure when it suited him. He had even claimed to have intended to view the footage of my masturbation often. I didn't want that to please me. But it did all the same, and I suddenly wished that I could wash Donaka Mark off of my mind and soul as easily as his precum was being taken away from the mirror's cold, hard surface with the towel.

* * *

"I'm dining with you tonight. Is that a problem?" my captor asked as he entered my room in a crisp dark gray suit and black shirt. He asked it casually but from the way he just sat across from my seat at the table, I knew it really wasn't a question but rather a statement.

"Sure," I commented as I folded my hands in my lap. "The ambience and the setting leaves a lot to be desired but the food is always great."

He smiled as he stared at me over the meal his personal waiters were setting down between us and I thought I saw a twinkle of amusement in his dark eyes. "I _missed_ you," he said.

I felt my cheeks reddening. I had not seen the man for a few days after having awakened to find the first of his coersion tests completed. I had started to fear that he was angry at me. It was strange. There I was feeling as if I had been the one to hurt him somehow, ignoring the fact that he had virtually locked me in an icebox to die.

Loneliness could do that to you.

So could Stockholm Syndrome.

"Well you knew where to find me," I returned, staring down at my 8 oz cut of beef instead of his mesmerizing eyes.

"Always," he said as he started to cut into his steak with a knife. It was the only sharp item, besides my cross, he had allowed into the room. "Funny, though. You don't even really know where you are, do you?"

I considered his words and saw their validity. With no windows to offer an honest view and no sounds reaching me, I might have no longer even been in Hong Kong for all I truly knew. Although, given Donaka's love for the city and his work at SSA, it was difficult to believe he would hide me away anywhere else.

"I'm in Hong Kong still, I'd bet," I stated, starting to dig in to my own supper. Having not been offered a knife with my meal, I was forced to use my fingers instead. I'd never confess such a thing to the well mannered villain, but it was not the first time I'd handled a steak in that manner.

Donaka Mark watched me ripping the meat apart, a glass of red wine near his lips and his eyes went from dancing to hypnotized in turn by my fingers work of tearing free a piece of the steak to eat. I tried to ignore him until he placed his wine glass down and leaned across the table. "I keep thinking of your hands working my cock...your touch. You did very well for a girl that had never done that before," he confessed.

"How do you know I didn't?" I retaliated, refusing to look at him. "How do you know for sure? My cunt may not have had any visitors but who's to say my hands haven't?"

"I could _tell_ , Erin," he said, studying my face. "You're so shy, so innocent. You had never touched a man before and you had never been touched. Not like what we did to each other, anyway, on the floor right over there."

My eyes glanced like traitors to the spot we had explored each other's bodies and I rested my fingers, still holding the steak, on the plate, recalling in paralyzing lust the bliss of jerking the man's weeping organ just a few days before. The juice from the beef fell down my fingers and I swallowed harshly as I compared it inside of my mind to Donaka's own warm precum.

Mark leaned forward again. "I can't stop thinking about it. I'm getting hard during board meetings. You're bad for business, Erin."

Donaka suddenly pushed his food aside and rose to his feet. He reached forward to grab my juice covered hand in his own and he felt my soft, plump fingers sensuously. After a few seconds of this caressing, every stroke going straight to my labia, he leaned across the table to whisper in my ear. "Are you getting as turned on as I am thinking about it?"

Yes I was. 

I couldn't stop thinking of how my skin had loved the soft, red velvet flesh of his erection, running up and down its palm; how glorious the fluid spilling so furiously from its engorged tip had felt. It was driving me crazy and my legs were parting as my clitoris grew in arousal from the memory.

"I need to go away for about a week..." Donaka breathed huskily into my ear. "Why don't we finish what we started. Except, this time, I come inside of you. I push straight through and pound away until your screaming my name, begging me for the mercy I have no intention of showing you."

His lips found my earlobe and kissed it before his teeth took their place, holding the not quite thin piece of flesh between them. It hurt and felt good all at once and I knew that this man knew how to bring both pain and pleasure simultaneously. If I were to allow him to become my first lover (my only one for I had pledged myself that, like my mother, I would only give my body to one man alone) he would bring both to me and introduce me to the space which lay between both sensations. Being part masochist, I longed for his educating me in the realm of what my body could experience. Donaka Mark would be the only teacher I would ever need and my body was screaming it was the only one it wanted.

"No!" I said and turned my head away. While I did, Mark's teeth remained in place and I gasped as I felt them tear into my skin just as his knife had done with the steak.

Donaka resumed his former position with elegant swiftness and I noticed, as he placed his unfinished steak before him and once more began to eat, a bit of my blood trailing down his bottom lip. I could feel blood, likewise, falling from where his teeth had pierced my earlobe; the blood was warm and trailing down the side of my face. I turned my focus off from my arousal to that singular pain and started to eat the rest of my own steak.

It resumed as a relatively a silent meal until Donaka began to talk about his business, SSA's latest projects and his upcoming business trip. He seemed grateful to talk as if he were lost in the same loneliness that I was suffering and I knew then that perhaps Stolkholm Syndrome ran in both directions. It surprised me how I eagerly began to return his conversation and how it seemed to make his face soften a bit and then light up, like a star casting its glow in a darkened sky, when I comprehended his feelings on this company subject or that and how I could make an observation which seemed to offer a different perspective he might not have considered before.

"I'll mention that to the share holders in Switzerland," he said after finishing his piece of raspberry souffle and wiping his lips on a napkin. "You learned everything about the company pretty well during your stay with us," he complimented.

I shrugged. "I like to learn," I commented. "My brain picks up information. I'm Scorpio ascending. I heard that they enjoy taking things apart, finding out how they work and putting it all back together so it runs even better."

"Scorpio rising," Donaka Mark said with interest. "That's what the Marquis de Sade was."

I sighed. "And Nietzsche and David Lynch and Victor Hugo. They say its the best and worst rising sign to be born with. Natives walk a thin, razor's edge between salvation and damnation. I just hope my other signs balance it out."

"Pisces sun and Cancer moon," Donaka said with a smile.

Knowing that my boss must have found my real birth certificate instead of the phony one for Heather Carlyle, I could only smirk. "Yeah. All three major water signs in all three major planetary positions. I'm pretty water logged."

With his lightning quick reflexes, Donaka Mark stood, dipped his napkin into the glass of water by his elbow, leaned over and brought it to my cheek. I did not back away or show that I was startled by his sudden movement but instead let him wipe the blood that had fallen down the side of my face from my bitten earlobe. The boys in my school used to go right up to a girl's face and scream the single word "Psych" in it, trying to scare them. Whenever they had done it to me, though, I hadn't even flinched. I'd already been so terrified being at school, boys yelling that word in my face was the least of my problems. What they said in whispers, low enough so the the teacher would not hear, was far worse.

Staring into my eyes while he cleaned the blood off, I could read I had both impressed and disappointed Donaka by my lack of a reaction. His eyes dropped to the collar on my pajama top and I saw that he excitedly observed the fact that my top button had come undone, as they always usually did. My cross was wedged into my massive cleavage, which was fully presented to him from his angle. "Get up," he instructed hoarsely, his dark eyes staying fixed on my breasts. "I have something for you."

His breath was hot on the pale hills on my chest and they welcomed that heat, remembering what both the coldness they had escaped felt like and the softness of his lips. It was painful to have to rise and walk away from him then and the next breath that would have been exhaled but I managed to do it anyway.

"Over where we had sat naked on the floor, you and I," he ordered further and I obeyed.

Clapping his hands, Mark summoned in his waiters to remove the now empty plates, as he continued to look at me. Finally a butler entered carrying a flat, large rectangular box, of black and wrapped with a white bow. He placed it at his master's feet and then left Donaka and myself alone.

"Get undressed," Security Systems Alliance's owner demanded.

When I refused, he crossed the space which separated us and his fingers found the line of buttons on my top. Once finished, he pulled it open and stared hungrily at my bared breasts but did not dare to touch them. "Sleeves," he commented, stepping closer and I pulled my arms out of each one, as he kept a hold of either side of the top. He was so close that my breasts brushed against his chest and, once again, I felt his breath hot on my exposed skin.

"Now the bottoms," he said and I swallowed, his face so near to mine, his lips within reach and his breath still covering my body and making my hair stand on end, my nipples tingle and my clit go wild.

I hastily pulled the bottoms down until I was standing before the man completely naked again. His eyes traveled the length of my body and he abruptly took me by the shoulders, burying his mouth in the crook of my neck as his arms encircled me. "Before I go," he murmurred. "Give yourself to me before I go."

I turned my head away again but shuddered as Donaka's mouth found my left nipple and sucked on it for a few seconds, as he bent down to retrieve the present following my refusal.

With an extravagant display, my captor ripped off the bow, grasped a shimmerimg bit of cloth from the box and then threw the latter away and on to the circular bed. He held the lingerie up by the straps and revealed a beautiful silk negligee of the finest shade of blush. Donaka grabbed me forcefully, pulled me towards his body, lifted my arms and threw the piece of clothing over my large and curvy frame. Once it was on, his hands having spent a little too long in pulling it over my full ass, I was still pressed against his chest, my hands resting on the fabric of his black shirt, which was as expensive as what he had just dressed me in. His hands now were bolder in his fondling, cupping my butt cheeks as he started to kiss me, an action I wished to return, feeling his cock beginning to grow frighteningly large against the thin silk now covering my belly.

"No," I said, throwing my head back. Donaka kissed the center of my throat before pushing me away from him, his hands shooting out and taking hold of my wrists on my backward fall.

"Look at you," he stated appreciatively. "You look so good in this color. Just imagine how you would look in a deeper shade."

Violently he pulled me back towards him, pushed my hair all to one side and kissed the top of my head.

Then he let me go.

"See you when I return, little Guinea pig," he said and then left me, walking slowly to the door.

"Mark," I said without realizing it as the door shut between us.

Biting my bottom lip, and feeling too alone within his absence of only a few seconds, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was eye catching in the silk negligee which hugged all the right places. My reddish hair swept to one side made me look like a Jessica Rabbit, whom had actually consumed something in her cartoon existence. Furthermore, the pink stood out amongst all the white in the room which surrounded me, reminding me of Donaka Mark's words.

_"You look so good in this color. Just imagine how you would look in a deeper shade."_

His point was obvious. I had touched his dick, willingly coaxing spurts of his seed's herald from it just in order to regain a bit of warmth. I was no longer the innocent I had been when he had first abducted me. I had brought him close to coming with the touch of my compliant, eager virginal hands. To him it was fitting that my reflection now showed pink instead of ivory; that's what I was to him, after all. The first tainting bit of sin had turned white to blush.

Just like my body's rush of color as it reveled in the bliss of its blood fueled arousal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a weird day. I'm still not sure I liked it. But I got this chapter done at least.
> 
> Keanu...I've seen you do the same thing those naughty boys did in my class in three of your films...Flying, The Last Time I Committed Suicide and Hardball. You throw your hands up and lunge a bit forward at a woman, or three girls in the case if TLTICS. But instead of saying "Psych!" you just generally make a loud noise. Is that you, Keanu? Something is telling me that those moments were ad libs. Tsk tsk. Bad boy. Well if you'd have done that to me you wouldn't have gotten a reaction. I would have just stood there and stared at you blankly.
> 
> Did you pick that up at school? Did times not change that much from when you went to school to when I went to it? I heard you were absent a lot...so was I. 
> 
> I also heard you dressed up as Dolly Parton for Halloween once. I did that when I was a kid too. But not on Halloween and I didn't have her actual outfit like you did. Betcha I would fill the top part out better now than you would though! ;) 
> 
> So that's two things we have in common from our childhood. Oh and absent dads. I like to think we would have gotten along well. Although we both are shy. There's another thing too. :D <3


	11. Reflection of an Open Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I make another discovery in the books on the shelf in my room as I further antagonize Zhao Yifei in Donaka Mark's absence.

Missing the same person who has hurt you, making you long for the one whom has caused your isolation, felt, during Donaka Mark's absence, like the most cruel and ironic sin one could commit against one's self. But if I had missed Donaka before, after his attempting to freeze me into submission, now I was almost painfully yearning for him, knowing he was nowhere close by. The only people I saw, while he was away, were his efficient staff of waiters and cleaning help. I half expected when the latter came in that they would change the bedsheets to a shade which would match the new piece of lingerie their boss had both given me and dressed me in himself. But it remained as white as ever. I supposed he wanted me to see and know my self earned tarnish every time I passed by the mirror.

I was no longer as innocent.

I had become a little more as he wanted me: a possession he had corrupted.

And I had become this even in a way he could not see simply by looking at me.

My dreams were filled with thoughts of Donaka Mark's hands and lips all over my body. My clitoris was often swollen and throbbing as, in my uninhibited state, I surrendered to the man's seduction, sitting in his lap on the floor of my prison and riding his beautiful cock, which had turned a far redder shade than the negligee I had been given. I woke up to find cream often leaking out between my folds and had even found myself waking once or twice while I orgasmed in my sleep.

It seemed that not only my mind missed the man but my body as well.

I took advantage of the bathtub after such nights, trying to wash Donaka's pervasive memory from off of my skin. He had seemed to have seeped in through every traitorous pore, however, trying to make his way to my heart. Or maybe, I feared, it was the other way around: My heart had already been given to the man and with each beat it was merely bringing my body to a similar feeling.

In order to remember why I was not giving in to the owner of SSA, I would sit in front of the mirror and meditate for an hour each day on the faces of his victims. My thoughts would go to their families left behind to mourn while the man, whom had caused their suffering, continued to survive, inexplicably, lesson unlearned, to toy with more human lives as he was now doing with me. Then I would open my eyes and stare at my reflection, feeling self loathing at myself for desiring Donaka as I knew that I did. I would see my breasts and remember the way his lips had hungrily searched them, the feeling of his tongue toying with my nipple while he sucked on it; the stomach I had been embarrased over throughout my life would delight in the recalled sensation of his fingertips, which had held no disgust. I would see both breasts and stomach clothed in pink, whispering to Mark's victims that I had failed them. Then I would look at my sad and ashamed face and whisper, "Don't let yourself fall, Erin. Be the person you should be. Don't give in."

But the words sounded hollow and empty in my lonely little room and my body could not stop longing for the person whom seemed my only companion in the world to return. Hearts can be traitors for they are often the only things that will not lie to you.

* * *

Thinking one day about Donaka's survival, long after he should have joined his victims in death, and remembering his hint of having lived longer than anyone suspected, I began to try to distract myself from my loneliness by searching through the books on the shelf for more information on the mysticism I had read that one day. It struck me then, that the books my tormentor would have chosen would each serve a specific purpose, having been made with the intention to be placed inside this room following my planned capture and captivity, . It was well within his egomania to deign placing little clues in secret right beneath my nose as certain serial killers often felt compelled to leave clues and then gloat to themselves about it in private. Or perhaps, in his boredom, he would want me to discover them and further accentuate our roles of cat and mouse.

I saw a book on Canada and one on Ontario, my home province. A little further down the shelf, I was shocked to find a book that contained some pieces of art by my mother, sister and myself designed to look like a book on famous paintings. Some of mine had been projects from High School left behind after graduation.

"How deeply did he research me?" I asked an empty room.

There was a book on self harm as well.

On my knees and holding myself, I shivered, though the room was no longer its brief and freezing cold but back to its former temperature.

The more I looked, however, I discovered a specific pattern. Books that seemed to fit with me were laced with books that had nothing at all to do with my life or interests but seemed perfectly in line with my captor's instead. He had interwoven us on the shelf, alternating between our identities. I even found a book describing the history of his little red and gold box, although it offered no new information and might as well have been written by Mark himself.  
Finally the last book seemed to return to the subject of Mystiscm and I grabbed it from off the shelf in a rush to leaf through it. The round pages were filled with many varying topics and concepts on transcendence and spiritual enlightenment but I was fairly sure that these would have only been mildly amusing to a man like Donaka Mark. He had already told me he did not believe in a God and I knew that his interests lay more in the immortality of the body than the soul. When I flipped to the index at the back of the book, I only saw this written in Donaka's familiar scrawl:

_**Life doesn't have an index to tell you where to look, Erin. You have to discover that as you live it. But, luckily for me, you haven't done a lot of living.** _

"Cocky little bastard," I sighed before rising to my feet and heading towards the odd little chair to do some reading.

* * *

Somewhere about three quarters of the way into the book, I finally found what I was looking for.  
The author began to go into a little more detail on the act and means necessary to place a part of one's soul inside of another human beings body. The ritual, I read, had been performed furing the Xia Dynasty over 2000 years before the birth of both Buddha and Christ in certain villages in China. There under Emperor Yu's knowledge, certain lords had sought to extend their lives at any costs. There was some reference to demons and pacts made with devils or sorcerers but they said that this was inconclusive and superstitious. All that was known, and much of this was lost as well, was that a way had been found to expel a part of the lord's soul or essence into a person deemed relatively pure or known only by the lord himself. Young girls had been raised and kept for this sole purpose but what the specific rite was to initiate the hiding away or how the vessel returned it to the body once dead was completely unknown. It only stated that it was possibly painful or pleasurable depending on the host's tolerance for certain acts. The book went on to say that since it was so long in the ancient past that it was long thought of to be mere myth. The last line in the chapter though made my blood run cold yet again:

**But we both know differently, don't we, guinea pig?**

I shut the book instantly and looked to the mirror, wondering if Donaka would enjoy watching the footage of my discovering his hidden messages once he returned.

* * *

More days passing with bored and lonely slowness, I was foolishly excited when I heard the door opening and expected it to be Mark. The cleaning crew had already been in, as had the waiters with my lunch, and I was looking forward to seeing the secret author of the strange round books, when I was horrified to see Zhao Yifei walking in instead. Her usually cold eyes looked somehow smug behind her thick glasses and I instantly became worried, fearing what would happen with my protecter far away from my cell.

"Hello _pig_ ," she greeted. "It is time to examine you again."

"Did Mark request it?" I asked.

"Yes," she stated. "He has plans for you when he returns and wants you reasonably healthy."

Holding myself, I noticed how the woman's air of cruel amusement changed as she noticed the change of color to my wardrobe. Her intelligent and swift mind worked towards an explanation and rested on the one which was probably right and would do little to appease her jealousy.

"Get undressed!" she snapped.

I looked to the white furred rug before acquiescing, sensing that there was little point in refusing. She wouldn't risk hurting me, not while Donaka had probably ordered that the cameras keep filming while he was away and the fact that his private Doctor was probably fully aware that she could not harm me without earning the wrath of her patient, the man she also happened to be in love with. She looked at my body in the same disgust she probably always felt but now could more openly display.

She saw me not as some poor caged beast but as a rival, I knew, and an unworthy one at that.

Throughout the examination, Zhao handled me roughly and I was grateful when it was finally over and I could go and dress once again in the negligee.

"Did he touch you?" Yifei asked, not looking at me as she removed her white latex gloves.

"He rarely _stops_ touching me," I said, boldly, spurned on by the woman's repellance towards me and the delight that Donaka Mark wanted me much to her frustration.

"It is part of the game and can be expected," she said more to herself than to me, giving her head a slight nod as if to draw strength from the movement.

Not enjoying being called a game to Donaka, even though I knew that that was what I truly was, my heart breaking a little all the same, I could not help but to confess. "And I touched him back. He has a wonderful cock, doesn't he? So soft to the touch and yet so _hard_. Or have you never had the pleasure of touching it without a pair of gloves on?"

The woman betrayed to me that she had infact not when she unexpectedly leapt across the room and kicked me, with full force and with a martial artist's grace, in the stomach. I fell against the mirror again, something which was becoming a habit for me. My cross got wedged between my breasts during the impact and I felt the two side edges digging into my flesh painfully. Falling to the floor, Yifei pulled me towards her quickly and then elbowed me forcefully right where her kick had landed before.

While I gasped for air, her hand clenched my throat. "You, pig, will be led to the slaughter soon. One way or another. If you give in as Donaka wishes he will kill you regardless. If he promised you otherwise, he has lied to you. Your death is assured."

She let go of her grasp of my neck to shove my face into the thick fur on the rug.

With the first breath of air I managed to spit out, "And he still won't want you."

Zhao rose to her feet, stomping on my stomach before leaving. As I held my tummy and coughed, I couldn't help but revel in the look of wounded pride and bitter confirmation which had been written all over the woman's face.

* * *

That evening, when the door opened, I did not know who to expect but was grateful when I saw Donaka Mark enter. He was once more dressed in a black suit and I ran towards him instantly, hugging him tightly despite the pain I felt as I did.

"So you missed me after all?" he asked, hugging me in return almost tenderly.

"I missed the company," I confessed, my cheek resting against his chest.

"Zhao was supposed to see you today."

I laughed bitterly. "Another reason to be grateful for your return."

Donaka Mark's hands began to caress my silk clad ass, his finger paying attention to my crack. "So that's the only reason I'm given such a warm welcome? Maybe I should give her a raise."

I backed away and lifted my negligee to show Mark the large bruise on my stomach. "Will you give her a raise for this too?"

The man looked at it in shock and he touched it in a way which would have shocked his victims that he could be capable of such gentle action. "She will be sorely reprimanded," Donaka vowed. His eyes came to rest on the two bloody spots on my breasts and the corresponding silk of the negligee from where the cross had pierced me and I had bled. "Did she do this too?" he asked. "Or did you do it to yourself? If you did, the cross is gone, Erin. I know about your propensity to hurt yourself."

I shook my head in shame. "That was an accident after Zhao kicked me."

His fingertips coming to the wounds on my breasts, Donaka Mark lowered his head and kissed them while his hands slipped to my back and returned to my buttocks and the crevice between them. His lips and tongue were just as I remembered and had experienced repeatedly in my dreams. Kissing his way down to where I was still holding my negligee up, Donaka got to his knees and began to kiss the bruise on my tummy.

"I can kiss it all better," he remarked, his words and lips against my skin. His hands reached for my new lace underwear and pulled them slowly down as his head imitated their descent. "I can kiss everything and make it better," Mark said beginning to kiss my vulva.

Struggling to keep focused, my clit calling his lips even lower and my cunt spilling out cream like it was saliva, I gasped as my boss began to alternately kiss and bite the fur covered skin below. "No," I said, forcefully even though I desired more. The memory of my possible lover's victims and Yifei's words that I was a dead woman regardless of if I slept with Donaka or not were more powerful than the lust he was stirring inside of me in that moment.

Donaka Mark stole one last kiss, a hungry one, before he rose to his feet. He would probably easily see the arousal I was trying to fight written in my blush so I attempted to hide it by averting my face. Only Mark would not tolerate it; he grabbed my hair, forcing my head back and aiming it up towards him, where he read me as easily as if I were one of the books on his shelf; books with a print run of a single copy just as he and I were by our own Maker.

"Did I get you hot, Erin?" he asked, lightly letting his finger travel from my eye down to my cheek. "We'll see if you can truly stand the heat, woman."

He then pulled me towards him, kissing me again, as seemed to have become his addiction, revealing that his longing to see me during his time away equaled my own. I kissed him back for only a moment, allowing myself that small comfort in the face of another impending test my soul and conscience could not afford to fail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Most of my ongoing fics in this series have reached or surpassed the halfway point. Only a John Wick one and the Matrix one haven't yet. Well Wanna Vet I'm not sure about yet. Its chapter number is up in the air. 🤔 <3


	12. Reflection of a Dirty Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go wrong during one of Donaka's tests for me.

Donaka did not immediately proceed with his next test. Instead we had supper together again while he told me all about how matters had gone with SSA. I felt very much like a wife listening to her husband after he had returned from a long business trip. But it was nice in its own way. Things were comfortable between he and I, despite the cruel nature of our relationship. There was a level of understanding and respect even if he was preparing once again to hurt me in some way.

A way he had not stopped hinting at since his return and his unsubtle use of the word heat.

Even our meal gave it away, similar to all the cold food I had been served during my room's frozen state. Now I was being served all foods which were either hot or spicy so I clearly knew that Mark was about to up the temperature in my room.

"Don't you think that's a bit _predictable_?" I asked him, arms folded, after he had served me baked Alaska set ablaze. "To try to freeze me into having sex with you and then go the opposite route of making it hot in here?"

"Predictable yes," Donaka Mark said, wiping his mouth clean with a plain white napkin. "But enjoyable as well. And hopefully productive. I didn't take into account that you are probably used to the cold, being Canadian. You might be far less tolerant of the heat."

Suddenly the full terror of a certain possibility came over me. "I don't...you won't...burn me alive will you?"

He studied my face with interest but then dropped the expression. "No. I might be a sadist, Erin, but watching somebody I know, and hold no real animosity towards, get burnt to a crisp holds no real pleasure for me. Besides, if you're damaged that badly and fast, you can hardly surrender and give me what I want."

I smiled sadly in relief. At least, with a high temperature in the room I would merely suffer heat stroke before death or dehydration. Neither of those were pleasant but were preferrable to what I had read about being roasted alive. I'd blocked most of that from my mind. Only the part about a person's eyelids melting into their eyeballs still lingered and that was bad enough.

"You want me that badly?" I asked, looking into his eyes and remembering our kiss before the meal had been served.

I thought I saw the pupil in the man's eyes dilate for a second but then he simply stated, "I _want_ to be proven right: that anybody can be made to do anything they normally wouldn't if the correct motivation is given. If I had found someone else with your same qualifications, she would have worked just as well."

"So I really _was_ just applying for a job when I joined SSA," I smirked. "I just wasn't aware of which one."

Donaka Mark studied me, from my breasts to the cross he had given me then up my neck and finally to my face. "I still must remember to thank Suen Jing-Si in some way when this is all over. A promotion won't work; she already managed that herself."

"Is she looking for me?" I asked, thinking that enough time might have passed since my abduction for her to realize the truth of what had really happened to me.

"My sources tell me she has moved on to the next plot to take me down," Donaka said with a wickedly amused smiled.

"Oh," I said. I didn't know what bothered me more, that one of my only hopes for being rescued had been demolished or that I had been so easily forgotten about.

"She may do it too," the man mused. "She's clever enough but not nearly as ruthless. The coldest she became was when she dangled a certain beautiful, big, virginal new employee in front of me...to throw someone so innocent at my feet in the hope that I couldn't help but take a bite...well Suen might live to see me behind bars yet."

"And you...you'll live long after that if you found the right person to hide a part of yourself in," I accused.

"So you read my books," he stated with another amused smile.

"Yes. Tell me...what is the ritual you use to place it inside of your hosts?" I asked in genuine curiosity. "That wasn't mentioned in any detail other than it could be considered either pleasurable or agonizing."

Donaka Mark left his chair and walked towards me. With a strength I had already experienced, he lifted me while I was still sitting in the chair and turned it so we were facing one another. His hand found my own where it was resting on my thigh. Squating before me, Mark clenched it so tightly within his own I thought he was trying to make a fist. "That needs to be experienced to be understood," he stated, leaning forward and kissing my lips again.

* * *

After Donaka had left, I felt the temperature gradually rising. It reached the point where the taps would not release cold water anymore but only warm, the steel fixtures stealing its coolness. When I went to bed that night it was in the nude, other than my cross, and I barely slept one wink out of discomfort. Sweat was coating my body like someone had thrown a bucket of water on me and my hair was hanging around my head in strands made damp from the sweat. Still, it wasn't too much different from some of the hotter days I had experienced in Canada, which Donaka Mark must have been oblivious to.

The true problem started in the morning about an hour after waking.

Something smelt as if it were burning and the cloth began to smoke.

My body began to feel as if it were on fire and I saw the skin on it beginning to peel, turning white as it would after a sunburn. My breath was having difficulty escaping from either my nostrils or my throat and my eyes began to feel as if the moisture was leaving them. Something had gone wrong with Donaka Mark's plan: I was beginning to be burned alive as I had feared. Helplessly, I turned to the mirror and saw my skin turning red, I pulled at my hair, feeling as if it were too hot on my head, trying to pull it out from the root as I collapsed to the floor, trying to scream as my throat felt scorched.

The door opened behind me and I heard people rushing in. I was scooped up by arms filled with the same strength that had lifted me and the chair together. Mark rushed me out of the room, and I heard, almost as if it was coming from a distance, the sound of his screams, demanding to know what had gone wrong before I lost consciousness once more, my burning cheek falling against his chest.

* * *

When I awoke, I wanted to cry because the skin all over my body felt raw and aching even though I was lying in a bathtub filled with very cold water. I saw that it was my own, the one from my prison, and I started to weep after all, the tears only hurting the sore flesh around my eyes. I next noticed an arm slumped over the edge of the tub and followed it until I saw the back of Donaka Mark, his face looking down at me from over his shoulder. He was sitting on the floor and resting against the bathtub I was lying in. He looked weary and there was a haunted content to his dark gaze.

"Why?" I mouthed, the words not coming out.

"There was a malfunction in the room," he replied. "Someone apparently sabotaged one of the systems. I didn't mean for..."

His eyes looked up and down my naked body and at the damage it had suffered. "They're second degree but mild. Zhao says they should heal in a matter of weeks. I..." Dark eyes travelling up from the blistering on my usually milky hip to my eyes, wide and resting on him in pain.

"I..." he repeated again.

He was on the verge of telling me he was sorry but the words wouldn't come out. How could he apologize to the person he had roughly treated and taken against her will? What worth would it even be when he had plotted my death before we had even met? Why apologize for my death when it was almost assured? If he said that one word it meant both an admittance of his weakness and his possible defeat. So instead he quickly turned his head away so as not to see the cause for his guilt.

Although the movement hurt me, my hand emerged from the cool water to find Donaka Mark's own, where it was resting on the rim of the tub in front of me. His skin was warm and uncomfortable against mine but I held on to his hand all the same and squeezed it for comfort and forgiveness. I saw his head move slightly to glance at our linked hands and heard him swallowing as he quickly looked away.

* * *

I remained in the tub for a while after that, always with Donaka by my side. At one point, one of his workers came and stood in the doorway and my vigilant watchman went to talk with the man. I watched as Mark's eyes widened for a moment and then an unreadable expression took its place. He turned to me and said, "I'll be right back."

Still unable to summon the strength to talk, I watched him go and suffered alone in the cool water. I easily remembeted the first burn I had ever received that wasn't from the sun. I'd been twelve and baking and had burnt my finger on a tray I had taken out from the oven. The sensation had always struck me as being that of all moisture having been removed from my skin. Later that night, I'd gone and watched Fantasia on VHS for the first time with my sister, viewing a group of Chinese mushrooms dancing to the Nutcracker Suite while my finger was stuck in a pan of water. All these years later, presumably in China, my whole body was lying in a tub and I still was struggling with the feeling of a far greater absence of water in my own skin.

When Donaka returned it was with Zhao Yifei and I assumed it was for the purpose of examing me again. She made the same mistake, for the expression on her face was its usual detatched professional one. It came as a shock for both of us then when her employer suddenly administered a blow to the small of her back. When she turned around, ready to fight back, he struck her too quickly on her cheek for her to respond. The man proceeded to use his hands repeatedly on the Doctor, in a full illustration of his skills as a martial artists. Punch after strike met the woman, keeping her standing in place though her body, having lost its air, desired to fall to the bathroom floor. This act, Donaka took it upon himself to commit as he threw her, face down, on to the ground. The woman's thick glasses fell off and then slid over in my direction, hitting the porcelain tub.

"Did you really think that the only camera I had in the control room was the one you tampered with?" he asked the woman as he brought his foot down on the back of her upper left thigh.

The Doctor did not cry out but writhed in her prostrated position on the floor while Mark brought his well polished shoe down where he had previously hit here.

"I paid you to be my physician, Zhao, not to get fucking jealous and intefere with the plans I spent months on," Donaka reprimanded as he positioned her gasping body between his legs. Squating over Zhao Yifei, the owner of SSA grabbed her stunned face and took it in his hands. "Your services are no longer required."

Watching as my captor prepared to snap the neck of the woman whom had tried to burn me alive, I struggled and managed to cry out one word, "NO!"

Both Donaka and Yifei's eyes came to rest on me, the man's eyes confused and angry and the woman's frightful but with a tinge of hope.

"She tried to kill you," Donaka hissed, irritated by my mercy.

"Please," I whispered.

We stared at each other and I truly believed my plea for the woman's life had fallen on deaf ears, until Donaka Mark let go of his hold on the woman's head, pushing her chin forcefully down on to the bathroom tiles instead.

"You may remain at SSA tending to the employees I send to you. That doesn't mean I ever want to see you again," Mark informed her. "And if you think about going to Suen Jing-Si or anybody else at the HKPD, I will personally see to it that a piece of you ends up in every city from Kashgar to Shanghai."

Donaka snapped his fingers and two men entered the bathroom to drag Zhao Yifei away. Meanwhile, I hugged the wall of the tub to hide my exposed body from their vision. Both guards looked slightly shocked to see the woman alive.

A stony look on his handsome face, Mark walked towards me and sat on the bathtub's edge. Being alone with him and unashamed, his having seen my body naked often, I backed away from the porcelain and the pain it was causing being in such close contact with my blistered skin. The businessman looked down at me again, his eyes now asking me why, and noticed for the first time that I was still wearing the cross he had given me. He leaned over and carefully removed it from around my neck and I cried out, for it had burnt into my skin. Donaka's eyes remained focused on my chest and I lowered my vision to see the shape of the cross having been branded onto my left breast.

"I'll never understand," he said, brushing a strand of hair away from my breast and touching the cross.

I offered him a smile, knowing already that he wouldn't.

* * *

The sight of the cross now permanently on my breast was a sight Donaka Mark saw often in the days of my recuperation. I was in a lot of pain, where even the slightest movement could cause me agony. The man took to caring for me himself and one of the rituals of this was placing an ointment and eventually a lotion all over my healing skin. It was odd to feel the man's hands traveling over my entire body so gently after having witnessed his violent and devastating use of them in person. His touch was soft and almost loving as he applied the balm to my wounds but I did not fully appreciate how sensual it was, as well, until my burns began to go away and I was left to fully experience the sensation of Donaka's skillful touch, without any more trace of pain. As his hands lingered in certain areas they should not have, I often found myself becoming aroused against my will.

On one such occasion, I was lying naked on my back on my bed, the sheets no longer too rough against my sensitive skin, while Donaka, jacket off and sleeves rolled up, was on his knees between my legs, rubbing lotion all over my breasts. His touch had called my nipples out, a fact that had not gone unnoticed on the man and he was pulling on them every now and then as he rubbed more lotion than was perhaps necessary on my deeply rising and falling chest. My clit was going mad again, another fact that did not escape being observed when he finally reached my thighs.

"Don't," I went to say but it was already too late. He gave one loving stroke to the pink nub peeking out from my fleshly curtains and my body was convulsing from an orgasm, his manipulation of my breasts having been too long and too good.

I lay there with my breasts still tingling from his touch and my vagina now satisfied and the pressure slowly fading.

"On your stomach," he commanded and I quickly flopped over as requested.

Large hands started to rub the lotion all over my back. "I'm starting to think you're getting a better deal out of this little experiment than I am," I heard him say as I was cursing myself for the return an arousal so soon after the last. "You eat my food, I give you free room and board, free clothing..."

"What little there is of it," I piped up.

He continued, ignoring me. "Now you get massages and orgasms too. All I'm getting is a case of blue balls"

"You mean you haven't?" I asked, having assumed he was still continuing on with his private affairs while he was holding me captive.

"No," he stated, his hands moving to my buttocks. "I'm saving everything for that clean, unused vagina of yours, Erin Smyth."

I was pleased by his words. Although I had not wanted to admit it, I was as jealous as Zhao Yifei had been thinking of the man cavorting around while he had been away from Hong Kong. Of course, he had his own possessiveness to deal with, taking time out from his schedule to rub me down instead of letting one of his help do it.

His hands working my ass, his fingers dipping into my crack to massage in the lotion, my sexual pleasure returned in full force again, heading straight to my clit and cunt on the other side. I heard Mark's breathing becoming labored again too as he was suffering his own arousal, one I had caught glimpses of ever since he had been massaging my breasts.

"It doesn't mean I can't enjoy you, though, Erin, in certain ways. There is a certain pleasure and pride in keeping an unspent erection, after all. To deprive ourself of pleasure and bestow it on another is a virtue all its own."

His hands were becoming more forecful while they slipped all over my ass, squeezing each cheek almost hungrily. Suddenly, I heard and felt him shifting on the mattress. He grabbed me by the hips and propped my bottom up.

"What are you doing?" I asked and then felt Donaka taking a bite on my right butt cheek. His teeth dug in to my almost restored skin, almost breaking it. He repeated the action on the other cheek and then nibbled on the soft flesh under them both before running his tongue upward along my crack.

It was pain mixed with pleasure and I felt my cream leaking out.

"No," I protested. "You...you said you wouldn't."

"Not with my _cock_ taking you," he stated, rubbing his cheek against my bottom one. "But this...this is worth making me half a liar."

He gave me another hungry bite and then pushed his face into my ass.

"No..." I cried. "Please, no, it's dirty..."

His tongue went up my ass and I squirmed because it felt so unwantedly good.

"Please..."

His hand reached around to play with my clitoris and I cried out, my bud responding in gratitude to his having discovered it. His other hand crept to my cunt and he began to finger it, careful not to damage my intact maidenhead, the one he wanted his member to tear first. My nipples were tingling again, pressed into the bedsheet on the mattress, which I was rubbing my upper torso against.

"Ohhh....ohhhh," I moaned. Donaka's mouth was devouring my ass as his fingers were successfully coaxing my genitals towards their next orgasm.

Moving my head to rest on my left cheek, I was panting as I caught the reflection of Donaka Mark defiling me in the mirror.

I saw the other me; her body resembled a slide with its bust aimed downwards and the butt aimed up. The reversed Donaka's face was blocked by one fleshy cheek as it was rammed up between the reversed me's bottom, his arms moving between her legs and thighs as his hands were up her front folds.

"No! Stop it!" I cried out.

Only the expression on the woman's face did not look like she wanted the man to stop, her eyes were half shut and her mouth opened in lust and bliss. She looked like she was reveling in the pleasure the man was bringing to her body after weeks having been spent in severe pain.

"OHHH...LHHH," I started to moan louder, both bumping my ass up and wriggling it against my attacker's face.

My eyes went to the mirror again and I saw Donaka Mark's erection, creating a tent in the front of his trousers. The more I moved my butt and moaned the larger the erection grew and I realized that I wanted to make him come against his claim that he would be able to control himself. Thinking of him shooting off in the well tailored pants to his expensive suit, feeling his lips sucking on me down below before his tongue explored some more was pushing me closer.

"OHH...OHH...OHHH...NO...UNHHH...OHHH," I sounded.

Donaka's fingers concentrated their efforts more, sensing my closeness and I was coming again, crying out half in sorrow and half in sublime ecstasy into my bedsheet already soaked in my spit and tears.

"That was a good one," Mark said proudly after I had finished, patting my fat bottom and giving it a last kiss.

I rolled over on to my back and Donaka came and rested his body between my legs, placing his head on my chest. Noticing my other tit had become dry again, he rubbed my body's own cream, thickly covering his fingertips, on it, as if it was a lotion also. All the while, his head remained on my other breast, using it like it was his own personal pillow.

"How...how can you make me feel so bad and so good all at once?" I asked in shame.

"Funny," Donaka Mark commented, gently caressing my nipple, while his unspent erection grazed my leg, "I was just about to ask you the same thing."


	13. Fading Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knowing he cannot starve himself from his obsession over me, Donaka Mark chooses another form of starvation for me instead...

When my burns had completely healed, I sensed that Donaka was both pleased that he had nursed me back to health and disappointed that he no longer had the opportunity to molest me on a daily basis. He confessed as much after one final application of the ointment. "My hands are going to miss you," he stated, giving my slicked down ass a hearty slap.

"Why?" I asked, looking over my shoulder and back at him. "You will still find ways to touch me."

Donaka Mark moved to the table where we still shared our meals and wiped his hands off. Seeing the tent in his trousers, I decided to tease him a bit and flopped on to my back, spreading my legs wide so he could see my own arousal and possible maidenhood. I wanted a slice of revenge after he had taken advantage of me a few days before. He hadn't touched me as he had that particular day, where he had explored my butthole with his tongue while his fingers had played with my clit and cunt. The businessman had been practicing restraint it seemed, for whatever reasons suited him, and I enjoyed tormenting him with a display of what he wanted but was depriving himself of. His eyes went to my dripping, enflamed opening as he continued to dry off hands already dried a few seconds ago. When he pried his gaze away finally, it landed on my chest first, which it studied with hungered longing, and then my eyes. I parted my lips and tried my best to emulate all the pinup girls I'd ever seen by appearing sexy. My thumb found its way into my mouth and I sucked on it playfully. I guess, I was doing a fair enough job, for with a lion's powerful grace, Donaka leapt on top of me, carefully stradling me. Not expecting this move from the man, I tried to close my legs, but he was between them, instantaneously, his cock rock hard in his trousers and pressing into my slit, already partially parted from having been turned on by my captor's many caresses and rubs.

"No!" I squealed as he grabbed my arms and pinned them back.

"To think I was taking it easy on you," he hissed into my ear, biting my earlobe and then neck. "That I afforded you a little mercy after Zhao had hurt you and I got carried away that one time...Maybe mercy isn't want you want? Maybe you _like_ this a little more than you even suspect?"

His mouth found my own, stifling my protests as his phallus still waited urgently at my entrance. I arched my back, struggling to get the man off from me, only to call his attention to my large breasts, pressing into his chest and chin. Lowering his head with an evil smile and studying my fleshy mountains like they were his next meal, the man stuck out his tongue and slowly ran it against my right nub. I cried, it felt too good, the soft bristles on his tongue against that sensitive area on my breast. The lick proceeded into a suck, his lips clamping down on the pink piece of membrane.

"Stop it," I breathed but he wouldn't listen. He sucked on my teat like he was feeding from me and my nipple responded in sensual glee, blooming like a flower in his moist, wet and all too wise mouth. I arched my back more unwillingly, this time from pleasure and not as a means to escape.

Panting, my vagina feeling as if it was on fire while Donaka Mark was using his erection to coax it towards ecstasy without entry, I watched both horrified and wanting as Donaka glided his mouth off from my erect nipple and hungrily kissed the rest of my breast before giving my left one a try. Moving his head he whispered sinuously, "There's my beautiful Erin; there's her sweet, smooth tits...You're so big...in all the ways I like...you're so beautiful...my dick can't wait to tear into you. You feel so good everywhere else you're bound to feel like Shangri-La wrapped around it."

His words of praise helped push me closer to my climax along with his grinding against me. Never did he go so far as to push his member inside, but he used it equally to stimulate me. I struggled beneath him, horribly aroused and trying to make sure in my writhing I avoided thrusting my pelvis closer towards him and in doing so enveloped his cock. Donaka kept on enjoying my body, however, and in the end I found myself grateful when an orgasm finally arrived, tired of having to stop myself from making one wrong move and surrendering as the monster desired.

I suddenly knew that Donaka and myself were in stalemate. Neither of us was completely ever victorious. Even though I had not succumed to him yet, I felt as if I was perpetually losing: the man continually winning in some small way whenever he played with my body and brought me to some unbelievable moment of ecstasy. And yet I never gave in and let him claim me in the way that had caused our whole current situation and which would offer him his own release.

Even after my climax, Donaka seemed hesitant to remove his face from my tits, one of which bore a cross branded on to it. He continually rubbed his face against them, kissing them with so much affection had I not known him better I still would have believed that he loved me. Giving the left breast one final tender kiss, he moved away with only seemingly minor discomfort caused by his large, obtrusive erection. "There's another orgasm I've given you," he stated, putting on his tie. "You're getting spoiled."

He might have been right in a way. Besides the pain I had endured, I'd never lived in such comfort, eaten so well or had achieved sexual ecstasy without it coming from my own hands. My heart racing after my latest act of sexual momentum and release, I knew he was conditioning me in his own way. My body was not only expecting his touch but looking forward to it now. I could no longer tell if my pose moments before on the bed had been to tease him or if I had somehow secretly hoped he would end up pleasuring me again. Had I tricked the man into giving me what I craved? Had he known my subconscious ploy and how he could further my addiction to him? I propped myself up, wiping my hair back from my sweat covered face and looked at Donaka Mark as he put on his jacket.

I rose from the bed on legs he had made weak, walked forward and fell against him, using my chubby hands to do up the buttons for him. Donaka's eyes were on me again and though they were looking at me coldly, he could not contain the bit of warmth at their core. I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed him quickly on the lips. Shock now entered his eyes. "Was that for making you come?" he asked.

"No," I replied. "That was for taking care of me after what Yifei did."

Donaka brought his hand to my temple and ran his fingers slowly through my hair. "Don't. I just fixed you because I won't allow anyone else to break you, Erin."

I kissed him again. "Thanks anyway."

His hand moved from my hair to my shoulder with his other quickly following suit. Pulling my naked body towards him, Donaka stated almost in anger. "Give me yourself then."

The air of calm indifference was momentarily lost and I knew his heated emotions were all stemming from his still upraised and frustrated cock, erected hard and like a tower between us. I shook my head violently and Donaka kissed me in the same way, claiming the lips on my face in lieu of the ones I was denying him between my legs. The kiss over, Donaka tossed me forcefully into the chair, causing me to once again wonder how he could treat me so gently following his Doctor's murder attempt, yet manhandle me at mostly every other turn. I supposed it was a territorial thing, just like he claimed.

Mark clapped his hands and lunch was brought in. While I was expecting two plates to be brought im, I watched as only the man was served. "You won't be eating today, or the day after that or the day after that," Donaka Mark informed me coldly. "You have my sgelter but no longer my sustenance. Let's see if I stop feeding you if you will become more reasonable."

My eyes dropped to his plate filled with a fliet mignon, small baked potatoes with butter and fresh corn and my mouth started to water. The realization that I had begun to take Mark's feeding me for granted overwhelmed me suddenly as I watched him bring the first cut up bit of steak to his mouth and chewed it very slowly.

"I thought you liked your women _big_ ," I argued after having witnessed in hungry silence Donaka Mark finish half his meal.

"Yes, but I like them without their plump knees locked together too," the head of SSA stated with his mouth full, raising his glass as if in toast to all the plus sized ladies whom had possessed the intelligence to open the door and let him inside.

* * *

The days that followed were not filled with any pain that wounded me from the outside. I was not dealt cold that took away my feeling or a heat that made my skin peel away in layers. The pain Donaka unleashed on me this time came rather from the inside as my body revolted from the lack of nourishment it was being given. My stomach could not understand why I was not eating and started to shoot out sharp pains and cramps which made me hold my middle in pain throughout the day whenever one seized me. It was extremely uncomfortable and enough to immobolize me when it happened.

Still, I told myself that I had plenty enough weight already, as it were, and that if Gandhi, a skinny older man from India, could do it a big girl from Canada could try it herself.

Besides from not eating, my life was remarkably the same inside of my prison. Having exhausted my shelf of reading material, often turning to the books in an attempt to get my mind off of my hunger, yet never finding out another hint regarding the secret to Donaka's immortality, I asked for more novels to read. Mark conceded and allowed me some paperbacks, not written by him, for a change.

The reflection of a thinner woman was greeting me in the mirror and I was surprised that I missed the more rounded face of the woman I had been; not some captive whose already large green-gray eyes were becoming even larger and looked somewhat haunted as well. My hair was coming out in little tumbleweeds too, my body saving its processes more for survival than for areas deemed less so, like the simple formation of hair.

Each evening saw the return of Donaka, as well. He had foregone any trips apparently just so he could sit across from me and eat his meal with an expression made to elicit my envy. Every meal smelled progressively wonderful and I tried to pretend that I was eating it vicariously through Donaka. Tried and often failed.

"Just let me inside of you, Erin," he said the evening of the forty second day, a piece of lamb on the end of his fork and pointed in my direction. "Then you can eat. I see you losing weight. I don't like it."

"No," I replied, holding my shaking arm. I was getting increasingly weak, hypoglycemia kicking in long ago. My brain felt as if it was in a fog and my muscles felt weak and uncooperative.

He leaned across the table and placed the piece of meat on the empty plate before me, using a finger to slowly shove it off from the prongs. "Just one bite," Donaka Mark stated and then resumed sitting in his chair.

Looking at it, I did not see a simple piece of lamb but one step towards temptation. If I allowed myself to consume it, I would only want more and before I knew it Donaka Mark's penis would be deep inside of me as I willingly offered him my virginity for another bite to eat.

 _"Is that so bad?"_ a voice, my voice, asked inside of my head and the chorus of the man's victims screamed back in retaliation that it was.

To drown them out and remove the chance that I might fall and eat the morsel of lamb, I managed to find the strength to stand and lift the plate. Trying to throw the plate into the wall behind Mark's head, however, I failed miserably and watched as it stopped midflight, fell to the floor and hardly even shattered. Exhausted, I fell to the floor, holding myself and whimpering. Donaka rushed to me, kneeling and touching my side. Immediately his hand shot back as he realized that there was not as much soft padding on it as there had been close to two months ago. I realized the man couldn't help but notice, having gotten used to the way I felt from three weeks of having to rub my plump body down with ointment and lotion.

In the depths of my starvation, I could look back on such times now with yearning and something close to happiness.

I stared up at him as I lay on the floor, "Thank you for caring for me once, at least," I whispered and managed to lift my hand to stroke Mark's face, one free from all expression, before darkness took me over again, as if it wanted me equally as much as Donaka Mark did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that I came up with a multi-chapter Johnny Silverhand story for this series. I usually don't like writing a fic before I see the actual film etc... but if I do it now, at least, I can claim ignorance. And this story is just too good for me to pass up...well if I can pull it off it is, anyway. I'm gonna start working on it soon to get it underway so look for it if you're interested in some Johnny Silverhand Cyberpunk 2077 action before the game's release! :D <3


	14. Reflection in Red Lace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donaka feeds me and feeds off of me before getting an unsavoury idea...

Awakening again from darkness to light, I felt at first something entering my mouth and the initial realization was that it was sweet. My tongue was drawn to that first bit of flavor and taste, after having been starved of any for weeks, and as I started to suck on the object invading my mouth I realized it was flesh, long and smooth and round beneath the substance I soon recognized as honey. At this knowledge, my eyes flew open and I looked into Donaka's face leaning down towards mine while his right index finger was placed inside of my mouth. He was studying me with that common intense but unreadable look of focus on his face. We were both lying on my bed, me on my back, while my captor lay by my right side, feeding me honey after his little experiment of starvation had thankfully reached its apparent conclusion.

"Eat it," he ordered and I complied willingly, knowing that it was only his finger on my lips now and nothing else.

My tongue wrapped around the honey covered object inside of my mouth and I savored the confectionary with even more relish, my taste buds basking over the fact that they were being put to use once more. Donaka Mark continued to watch me the entire time while I sucked and rubbed my tongue languorously along the whole of finger. While his face remained impassive, I saw an excited fire dancing behind his eyes and I was well aware of what thoughts must have been going through his mind with the image I was presenting him with. I could not stop myself though; my mouth had a mind all its own and was urged on by my covetous stomach, which basked in the taste of honey and the salt of the finger underneath it.

When I had licked the finger clean, I watched Mark take it out and dip it in a small jar full of the golden liquid by my other side.

"Why?" I asked, my voice thick from the thick liquid.

"Simple," he replied, devoted to his task of coating his finger afresh instead of meeting my questioning gaze. "I don't want to fuck a bag of bones."

He brought the digit to my mouth but some honey dripped off from it before reaching its destination. I watched it fall like golden rain, landing on the space on my chest below my throat yet above my breasts. The whole time I devoured the rest off of Donaka's finger, I felt it lying their sticky in its sweetness. Following my finished feeding, Donaka turned his attention to the fallen drop of honey and licked it off from my skin. His tongue running against my flesh was suprisingly erotic and caused in me that increasingly familiar heat within my lower half. I was too weak to disguise my pleasure and when Mark raised his head he saw my face blushing and turned on.

He smiled wickedly and began to toy with a nipple through my pale pink negligee. The feeling was intense, my clit coming to life with a deep throb and I breathed in deeply, the man enjoying the sight of my heaving chest below him.

"When the Muslims celebrate Ramadan they abstain from food and sex," he told me. "They face a rather ironic problem however: when the body does not receive the nourishment of food, the blood, no longer needed for digestion, rushes to other places instead. Often it will flow down to the genitals instead."

Mark's hand did the same, petting my vulva slowly and making my clit swell more. When his petting descended it touched the peeking nub and I cried out from the resulting bit of bliss. He focused his attention on it, a thin layer of satin separating his flesh from my own.

"So there they are, aroused and not able to do anything about it...which probably makes them all the more hornier," Donaka mused.

Suddenly his lips were locked with mine and he was tasting the remenents of the honey on them. His hand continued to toy with me and I found myself kissing him back as my arousal overwhelmed any thought to do anything else. When he broke the kiss and his dark eyes seemed to become set ablaze with dark desire, I found enough breath to whisper. "Please...I..."

Donaka did not stop to listen to what I might have been about to beg if I had been able to. An order to continue or one to stop would have been the same at this point to him; he took what he wanted from me now just as long as it was not that one simple thing.

His hands grasped my negligee at the front and tore it, the thin satin giving way easily within his strong hands. He let the tear spread down to the bottom of the lingerie until I was exposed before him, air now hitting my still peeking clit. Donaka Mark grabbed the jar of honey and dipped his finger inside it once again. Instead of bringing it to my mouth this time, however, he coated my nipples with the thick substance. It felt deliciously good as he used his fingertip to gently stimulate them by massaging it into the pink nubs. More pleasure came and I found myself as hungry for it as the substance which was now on my hardening peaks. It felt so wonderful that when Donaka lowered his head to suckle my teats I could only moan and squirm underneath him in delight. He grabbed a handful of each huge breast and licked and sucked the honey off from them in turn, making me rub my crotch against his own rapidly hardening dick.

I thought of Donaka's victims but told myself that this was something else. I would not give in to the man and let him have my virginity. But this small piece of medicine I would allow myself as some kind of therapy, lest I lose my willpower or sanity somewhere in between.

My weak arms wrapped around the man's head, pushing him gently into my breasts and cradling him against both large mountains of flesh while he continued to clasp his lips around my nipple and suck on it slowly. The feel of his head against my bosom brought a comforting pleasure and I felt a certain loss when Donaka finished licking away the honey and moved his body away from my breasts which sorely missed his attention.

The man, though, had dipped his fingers into the golden liquid yet again and was making a trail with it down my stomach all the way to my furry mound and I soon heard myself making small noises urging him on as he licked the trail away until he reached the bush.

"Too tricky," Donaka commented as he knelt between my legs and stared at my pubes. "Not easy to get off and I don't want you waxed."

Large hands grabbed my knees and pushed my legs up and to the side, allowing him better access to my vulva, labia and vagina.

"No!" I cried in protest, thinking he intended to take me.

He gave a wide smile again. "Not _now_ ," he soothed.

It seemed his mind was still on taste and not on stealing my virginity. Reopening the jar, he dipped his finger inside, covering it with honey. He soon dipped this into my folds, smearing the honey between my folds like they were two pieces of soft white bread he was making a sandwich out of. My clit was throbbing in delight and my cunt experiencing its own ecstasy from the flood of blood which had been building there. He went from my clit, down to where my slit was concealed by the mattress.

As Donaka placed his head between my legs and buried it in me, I knew I should have struggled against him but possessed no strength within me to and still reasoned that this was not exactly surrendering to the villian. I could not deny that I wanted this piece of pleasure. And Donaka Mark truly understood how to give it to me after yet another experience of pain he bore the responsiblity for.

His tongue was sensuously licking the honey lining my crevice, making his way up to my clit and savoring me repeatedly. My head turned to and fro in the ecstasy being given to me by Mark's lips and tongue, until it rested in the middle. My heart was pounding inside of my chest, mimicking my clit. I was trying not to make any more noises but failing so terribly that tears began to fall from my eyes while I witnessed Donaka Mark, between my legs, devouring my weakness. The honey had to be mixing with my cream by then and yet he kept on letting his tongue sample everything with a fierce and famished hunger that made me all the more aroused.

It was when his tongue ever so gently pushed past the hole in my maidenhead and into the canal so furiously spilling out my body's own fluid, that my orgasm finally came. It took more of my strength with it and I weakly moaned Donaka's name as my cunt clenched around his tongue.

Removing his head from me, the businessman bit the tender skin on my thigh before rising to his knees. He was fumbling with his belt and I saw his large erection hidden by cloth before Donaka pulled his trousers down and presented it in the flesh. It was once more red, swollen and magnificent in its frightening beauty. I wanted nothing more than to welcome the member inside and save it from its raw and angry appearance. Precum was pooling at its head and I watched some dripping down the red tip, falling onto the mattress just as the honey had fallen on to my chest. I thought of holding the man's head to my heart and heard his victims voices join in demanding chorus, reminding me that Donaka Mark held no such organ himself.

In terrible shame, I knew I was hopelessly close to failing them.

Donaka looked half crazed and triumphant as he prepared to enter me, until I used my last bit of energy to fold my legs and deny him.

"No," I whispered and heard Mark shout dangerously in his frustrated anger.

In fury, he parted my legs and aimed his fist at my opening. "Would you prefer _this_?" he asked.

I cried out in fear.

Something in my face must have touched the man for I watched as his expression changed to one of concern and a sympathy that seemed to take him by surprise also. Placing my legs back together and lying by my side, Donaka held my weeping head in his right hand and gave me a kiss of honey and cream. Afterwards, he gazed at me with such soft tenderness that my tears fell more freely because I could have almost believed that my monster loved me as much as I loved him.

Donaka Mark tasted my tears then too before he dipped his finger back into the honey jar and pushed it into my waiting lips. I started to suck on it again, finding my hunger still unsatisfied in more ways than one. "Poor Erin," Donaka Mark stated, watching me fondly. "What am I going to do with you? You never want a taste of me."

And as he stared at me suckling on his large index finger, I clearly saw an idea enter his mind and a smug smile find its way back to his face.

* * *

I was given my meals once again, just as before, during the next few days and found my strength returning. In fact, I was offered even more to eat and I knew that I was being plumped up again following my weight loss, Mark not enjoying his women too thin.

Donaka watched over me with that same secretive, self satisfied light in his eyes and when he brought me a new piece of lingerie to replace the pale pink negligee, I mistakenly believed that it was over this fact.

"Red?" I questioned, staring at the teddy he had placed in my hands. "Did I fall so far?"

Donaka smiled. "Not quite...But I couldn't wait to see you in it. My patience does have its limits."

I stood feeling the lacy thing in my hands, unsure that I could do it justice.

"Do you want me to dress you again?" he asked drawing closer.

I shook my head but he took me in his arms and started to handle it himself regardless. I was grateful in a way. I had tried on a few teddies and the like in my life but was always unsure about them. Having undressed quite a few past seductions in his lifetime, Donaka was better knowledgeable on how to manage all the right laces and hooks and took care of it effortlessly. Standing before the mirror, I watched him transform me miraculously into one of the models I'd seen online advertising lingerie, which I had never thought I could make look quite as good. By the time Donaka had finished with me, I appeared sexy to even my own critical eyes though.

Donaka, on his knees behind my ass, did the last few hooks on my garters and then grabbed my thighs, pushing his face into my buttocks. Breathing in deeply, I saw the mirror reflect Donaka rubbing the side of my thighs as I felt him kissing my ass.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, peering at that other me in the mirror past my wide hips.

He was right, I thought in disbelief. The design of the teddy had made my large figure actually look enticing and I was becoming aroused from the way that Donaka was eyeing me like he wished to feast on me again.

Sitting down for our evening meal, I could sense Donaka Mark's jealousy as the waiters, who were serving us and usually afforded me no attention, were glancing at me with sudden interest. The red teddy, which left little to the imagination, had finally made them take notice of their master's prisoner. Donaka sipped his wine looking irritated and then commented halfway during the meal, "I don't like other men looking at you."

"Don't dress me in skimpy, provocative things then," I retaliated. "Or hire blind waiters."

He studied my face intently. "No. It's more than that," he stated. "You have a _glow_ about you. You were always pretty but now...Orgasms suit you apparently."

I blushed and finished the rest of my meal. When Donaka called in for dessert, I placed a napkin over my chest and lowered my head, which seemed to please the owner of SSA. We ate raspberry torte and I slowly started to realize that something odd was happening to me. My stomach was feeling as if the pains I had experienced during my starvation were returning, along with an unpleasant burning sensation. I attributed it to having eaten something that I wasn't ready for yet. Still it was distressing and I found myself unable to finish the tasty torte.

Donaka looked up at me sympathetically but also in bemusement. "Not hungry?"

"No," I replied and then grabbed my stomach as an almost unbearable pain was felt inside.

"Oh, I think you will find you have room for _one_ more dish," Donaka Mark stated confidently before he clapped his hands.

The door slid open and another man, bald and older than Donaka, seemingly of full Chinese ancestry, emerged. He was obviously not a waiter but carried in his hands a jar which resembled the one which had held honey days before.

The man placed the jar filled with a creamy white fluid in front of my dark eyed captor and then stood straight backed by his side, staring directly ahead

"This is my new personal physician," Donaka introduced. "I found him only recently. His name is useless to you."

I nodded my head at the Doctor, whom remained standing still as if he were a statue. When Donaka offered him a nod, the older man left and we were left alone once more. My breathing labored and my gut revolting angrily over something I had consumed, I was not grateful for the healer's departure.

"I don't feel well," I whispered. "Call him back."

"That will be unnecessary," Mark stated, clutching the jar. "He's already diagnosed you. He's an expert in a certain branch of medicine: toxicology."

My eyes widened in dawning realization while I viewed Donaka carefully studying the jar. The man's brown eyes left the white fluid to suddenly, deviously meet my own. They lingered on my face even as my own eyes drifted to watch his hands take off the lid from the small jar.

A cramp so painful hit me and I fell to the floor, clutching my lace covered tummy while my body started to retch. From my place on the floor, sweat appearing on my forehead, I was given the perfect view of Donaka Mark unbuckling his belt, unzipping the fly and removing his penis from out of his black trousers. Transfixed, I watched as he started to lube his sleeping member with the strange, unknown fluid.

"You poisoned me," I accused from my place on the floor, my body convulsing while it tried to rid itself of the toxin.

"Yes," Donaka said, leaning forward to stare at me, his hand still covering his penis with the liquid. "It is a particularly _painful_ poison..."

I groaned, feeling the proof as another cramp seized me.

"But don't worry," Mark said, leaning backwards and eyeing me smugly. "I have the antidote right here with me."

My eyes darted immediately to the now empty bottle on the table and then to the cock now thickly coated with its former contents. My eyes went to the man's face and Donaka Mark's grin widened, having already forseen a victory sweeter than honey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Keanu;
> 
> I watched "Rear Window" tonight. My mom wanted James Stewart's character to go with Thelma Ritter's, I think. I like him with Grace Kelly's though. Just as long as she doesn't try to change him. I *do* think he has a secret affection for Miss Lonelyhearts though. It's in his smile and that half raised glass.
> 
> But it is probably best that his love is unrealized for her. I always heard Roger Ebert referencing that scene from "Citizen Kane" about the girl in the yellow dress. I liked his thoughts that the most perfect loves were always those that were unrealized. Lovers never grew tired of the beloved that way.
> 
> Still, I wish I could know you...I'm not foolish enough to think I'd like you all the time or that you would like me. We'd probably bug the shit out of each other. I know that. But I would like to know what you're like...not just in a little box I watch or on a page I read. I'd like to know *you* in 360 degree angles.
> 
> I certainly don't want to be that valley girl I read that used to write to you. You said she projected what she wanted you to be on to you. I want you to be yourself. Then I could see what we're like and if we could be friends.
> 
> I hope we could.
> 
> Much love,  
> Erin  
> XO XO  
> :D <3


	15. Reflection of a Half Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donaka Mark wins one battle but gives me an idea on how to win an even larger one.

I lay in increasing agony on the lushly carpeted floor of my prison, looking between Donaka Mark's maliciously sparkling eyes and his semi-hard, reddening cock, glistening with the antidote which would save me. The penis betrayed an impatience that the man did not. And while my stomach was telling me that time mattered more than it ever had before in my entire lifetime, SSA's owner was staring down at me in complete serenity as if time were something that had lost its importance for him decades ago, which it undoubtedly had, I knew. For men whom could not die, time was merely a simple grade school counting excercise.

"I thought you were reserving that for a place other than my mouth," I groaned.

Donaka nodded his head to the side. "I was. Then I started to realize how unfair I was being. There I was always enjoying you...why shouldn't you enjoy me also. Blame it on seeing my finger in that pretty, warm mouth of yours."

My eyes dropped to the large organ and I gulped from its size and the thought of placing it in my mouth. Its owner apparently read my thoughts and grinned michieviously. "Rather bigger than my finger isn't it?" he said. "You'll also have to make sure that not a lot of the antidote goes to waste. I had my new Physician calibrate the dosage to fit the amount of poison perfectly. You don't get enough you die, Erin."

My stomach felt like it was about to explode, a wave that spread throughout my body like a small bomb that had been detonated. I clutched my belly and went into the fetal position, my arms pushing against red lace. Donaka Mark leaned forward intensely, careful not to brush his cock against his suit and subsequently lose some of the liquid on it, and looked at me with almost resentful compassion. "What are you waiting for?" he asked urgently. "You'll be dead in five fucking minutes. JUST DO IT!"

He seemed like a spoiled child suddenly, one whom seemed suddenly fearful and confused that their latest ploy or tantrum hadn't wormed their way into getting the specific toy that they wanted. I looked at him with eyes that were quickly blurring with tears and he leaned back slowly, regaining his composure.

"You really are being _selfish_ , Erin," he said, trying a more calm form of persuasion: guilt. "Quite the double standard...You'll let me taste you but you won't do the same for me."

I lowered my head in shame, my face turning red as sweat began to pour down it too. He had stumbled across the tactic to get me to concede. I had struggled with guilt since childhood and also the fear of not doing what I preached. This latter may have been heavily influenced by my Savior's hatred for the Pharisees and Scribes, which he knew were hypocrites, or it might have been a natural inclination in my soul. In any case, I hated then that I had let him go down on me. I had been weak and was now paying for it.

Donaka seemed to sense that he had finally created a crack in my defenses. I saw his eyes processing it, perhaps realizing that the OCD I suffered was tied strongly into guilt. Like any predator he pounced on his prey, going for the wounded leg. "You let me taste you...I felt your pleasure and your surrender. And all the while, when I wasn't making you moan and squirm, you probably reasoned away that it wasn't what I was after; that it wasn't my _dick_ in your pristine, tight cunt. So it was acceptable. Excusable This won't be any different. Just think of it as dessert...another part of supper. But, don't worry, I'm not going to cum; that I'm still reserving."

In almost unbearable pain, both physical and now mental, I could tell that my captor seemed moved by my suffering. His cold, dead eyes seemed to warm and I understood he wanted to lean forward and touch my face in reassurance. However, he knew then that some of the antidote would be lost, as would my only chance of survival.

His mouth twitched on the verge of saying one word but he stopped its exit, too proud to let it escape. Staring deep into his eyes, I knew what it would have been anyway. He had not needed to give it voice.

_"Please."_

Instantly, I crawled to Donaka Mark's lap and brought my mouth to the dick covered in my medicine. I heard the man gasp, a noise he made almost sound triumphant; a shudder also went through him as I started to take him inside of me. The cock gave a shiver too but then grew inside of the mouth holding it, becoming harder while my tongue began to lick the antidote from off its hot and smooth surface. As my tongue took the liquid off, it tasting strangely of something sweet like butterscotch and banana (probably one of Mark's crude jokes) I experienced the taste of Donaka Mark underneath it and fought arousal taking hold of me then too.

I tried to make my movements quicker then, feeling the cock twitching in my lips and having what could only be precum join the antidote on my tongue. I began to wonder if Donaka had overestimated his ability to hold back. He'd been playing with my body for weeks without release. Denying himself orgasm, I knew he must have been dying to finally let out all of his sexual frustration and tension, not to mention the seed I could feel making his already large balls even more full beneath my breasts, and was risking a great deal by making me unwillingly give him oral. Still he proudly assumed he could handle it.

Too ashamed to look up, I focused solely on accepting the antidote from off of his phallus. Feeling better, I had eventually placed almost the whole organ inside of my mouth.

"Take it _all_ in," Donaka instructed in a voice thick with arousal. "That's the only way to be sure."

Closing my eyes, tears falling from the corners, I lowered my mouth until my lips felt the whisps of Mark's pubes against them and felt my throat receiving his cock. He moaned but still managed to hold on to his cum, even as I wrapped my lips tighter around his organ and slid my head off swiftly, removing any traces left of the antidote from off it. My head finally removed from the cock, I saw it looking like some red, raw tower of skin before me. The veins were standing up on its lenth, pulsating with the blood that had rushed to it but would not find satisfaction in a soon to come spilling. It looked angry and thwarted and I thought two things: "I did that to him," and "I want to feel it shooting off down my throat."

I raised my eyes to see Donaka sitting with his eyes closed, trying not to orgasm. He would not look at me but was breathing deeply and staying focused on calming the beast in his lap. I found my own breathing returning to normal as the antidote took effect. My lips felt odd and my throat felt strange after having been invaded. I grabbed it, thinking of the socks my mother used to wrap around my neck when I had laryngitis, and watched with a certain fascination as the red beast gradually became appeased by the man's meditation. When it was dormant once more, Donaka opened his eyes to look at me with smug triumph.

Turning away, I saw in the mirror the same expression, regardless of it being reversed.

I might not have let him have my virginity but he felt that he had won over me anyway. It was yet another reason why he had gifted me with the red teddy beforehand, I realized. The man was always so frustratingly confident and sure of himself.

"Now, wasn't that easy?" he asked, placing the spent part of his anatomy back inside of his trousers. "I think we'll do this more often, you and I. What a wonderful way to end our evenings together."

I shook my head but the lips that had tasted him for the first time wanted to traitorously whisper "Yes."

* * *

The following nights, I never knew exactly when Donaka Mark had poisoned me until he called the same aged Doctor in with the, by then, familiar jar of antidote. It was only when I saw both object and human that I knew the last taste left in my mouth before the day ended would be Mark himself. By then, I had resigned myself to it, getting on my knees automatically the moment the unnamed toxicology expert had left the room. Although, I could barely confess it even to myself, I was getting used to my violation and had begun to look forward to the feeling of Donaka Mark's dripping organ inside of my mouth. My lips were finding themselves enjoying surrounding the long, thick tube and my tongue loved the smoothness of the penis being rubbed against it. Often times, I found myself becoming aroused almost as much as the man I was sampling, especially when I heard his pleased noises and felt his body's obvious response to my lips working him in the process of consuming the antidote smeared all over his flesh.

In surprise, I felt him petting my head one night while my head was bent over his lap; his fingers ran through its curls lovingly. Another day found his hand touching the back of my lower head, one of my erogenous zones, and I found myself almost completely forgetting I was simply saving myself from a fatal poison and began to actually give the man a true blow job. He moaned as my mouth tightened and released, tightened and released on his penis and my lips traveled down to the base. Instinctively, he lifted his hips, thrusting into my mouth.

The cock made a more forecful movement, and we were both shocked into sudden realization of what we were both doing: surrendering.

I was sliding my head off from his length at the same time his hands each clasped one of my ears and was pulling it off as well. I fell backwards as he pushed me away. Afterwards, I looked up from the floor at the man struggling to compose himself and not come.

Staring at his battle to contain his erection, his clear difficulty in doing so, I felt a brief flash of _power_ , which was almost intoxicating. His cock finally quietening down, Donaka turned to find me lying on my back and his anger at me for having brought him so close to ejaculation was clearly evident. His eyes dripped lower to my teddy and the cream which was flooding out past the thin crotch. It lay glistening on my pale thigh and I felt it without needing to remove my eyes from Mark's face. He got on his knees and suddenly licked the substance off, his fingers unhooking the crotch to see where more cream was quickly emerging.

"Maybe you should thank me for giving you an excuse to do what you've always _wanted_ to," he said gazing at me.

He stared at my enflamed vaginal lips after almost breaking his vow to come inside of them first by almost being persuaded by the ones much higher up. Donaka's face was red also as he stared at my now exposed extremities and he was clearly upset but trying to disguise it. It was an emotion which he was slowly trying to replace by his growing hunger for my arousal.

"No," I said backing away but not fast enough.

Donaka Mark placed his head between my legs, grabbing my thighs and pulling me closer towards him. Already carnally excited, my body betrayed me competely by welcoming his tongue and lips with another gush of cream. My vagina started to twitch and I just allowed him to have me because it felt so good after he had not touched me in days, preferring the freshness of his own stimulation. Turning my head in ecstasy again, I was transfixed by another reflection of our sexual play. I hadn't even realized that my shoulders had gone to his shoulders and were wrapped around his neck until I saw that other mirrored couple engaged in cunnilingus.

Not that it was even _truly_ that.

I saw it for what it truly was then...

Donaka Mark was trying to save face by burying his own into my cunt.

Looking at the reflection, I came, crying out loudly in a release Donaka Mark was intentionally depriving himself of, realizing how I could taste and savor my own bit of victory against my beautiful, beloved enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Keanu;
> 
> I have a few things I wanted to say to you today. It's fitting for this fic because of the mirror motif. As I said in an earlier story, I couldn't become a yes girl, one whom just always agreed with you. If I was to do that, I would become a mirror and if you liked me it would only be your reflection you had become friends with not really me.
> 
> Another thing I wanted to mention is brought about further today because of an incident at the BRZRKR Kickstarter. Someone referenced my fics here and did it snarkily. It made me wonder, once again, why so many women turn into catty, misogynistic monsters whenever they like a guy. They might profess feminism and being an independent woman but it falls apart the moment they start crushing on a man. The brain flies out the window, they agree with the guy without having their own mind and the claws come out towards most other women. Not *all* of us do that but a lot of us do.
> 
> I found the woman online, I think, her real identity and she looked like someone whom should have a brain...why did she want to be cruel then? Just for you? Because she saw me as a threat? Why? I don't even know you, never will. Why try to hurt someone for such a stupid reason? If she thought I was pretty, well, she would be equally pretty. Except her personality sucks so she becomes ugly.
> 
> Why would someone profess to be your fan and act so badly? You seem very much about treating people with respect, tolerance and kindness. Does she think you'd like her for being...well for being a bitch? It shows a discrepancy between being your fan and reading articles about you and understanding the object of their affection.
> 
> Like the girls that flash their breasts at you during Dogstar concerts to get your attention. Do they think that will get your affection? What, they think you've never seen a pair of tits before or that theirs will make you love them? You're a good looking guy! You've probably seen a lot of breasts! You don't seem like a rap star either. You seem incredibly thoughtful and intelligent. You were probably busy concentrating on your bass playing and it was distracting for you. But they weren't really thinking of you, were they? They were thinking of themselves.
> 
> Once again, it's the difference between being a fan and understanding the person you are a fan of. Like in religion when God's followers act judgemental and cold instead of merciful and loving. Why are human beings like that? 
> 
> I read a comic book called "The Tale of One Bad Rat" once. The forward stayed with me. In it, the writer wondered why rats had such bad reputations when it was humans that were far more hurtful. He also wondered why it was such a human trait to make someone else feel bad just so they could feel better.
> 
> Well if that was what they wanted, it worked. I feel awful. But I know one thing, the person they are a fan of would *not* be a fan of them if he knew what they were really like. Or, at least, certainly not the way they behaved today.
> 
> I only pray that the person whom made me feel small looks at themselves in the mirror and sees what they are like before they hurt someone else. I'm weak but I'm also strong. I am hurt now but I can take it. I don't want them to find someone else who can't.
> 
> Much love,  
> Erin,  
> XO XO  
> :D <3


	16. A Mirror Reflected in a Knife's Blade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally win a small victory over Donaka Mark but discover it might have thrown me into an endgame.

For my minor victory over Donaka Mark to succeed, I needed him to return to a state where he had lowered his guard. The only problem was, after his last administration of the antidote and his act of almost coming, he refrained from poisoning me for a few days. It was as if he no longer trusted himself as meals were brought in but with no ending appearance of his own private physician, bearing the small jar of antidote. I was beginning to despair that he would ever attempt to poison me again, which was an odd thing to lament over, I acknowledged in shame. Gradually, however, I began to see Mark's focus return to my lips and the way I was eating this piece of food or that. It was obvious then that he was itching to have the lips wrapped around his cock again, having received more pleasure from the act than just a simple orgasm. Temptation was calling to him and his desire to be consumed greater than for any food that we ate together. Trying to entice him, I perhaps called a bit more attention to my eating than was normal for me, letting my tongue appear more often to lick around those same obessed over lips or to catch trails of wine left around the rim of the glass or running down its side.

Soon the Doctor visited again and Donaka was coating his cock once more with antidote while I was going down on my knees to take it off with both lips and tongue.

I looked up once during that first resumed time to see Mark's head thrown back, eyes shut, in pleasure at the return of my mouth on his phallus. He didn't let the look remain for too long, however, incase I saw it, not realizing by then that it was already too late.

During these moments of my feeding, I tried to act as if I was getting nothing from the act and was only performing it as quickly as I could to get it over with. It was a charade, of course. Bringing Donaka Mark pleasure was still arousing me horribly and I had copious amounts of cream spilling from my cunt to prove it. I was successful in my deception, though, and the leader of SSA was looking more and more like he was regretting how quickly I was taking my dose of antidote, wishing that my oral dosage would last a little while longer.

That was how I wanted him though. Desiring more of the mouth he had taught to crave him in return.

One night, falling to my knees, I purposely brushed my hand against his balls and felt him tense. "They're getting big," I said in my most sympathetic tone. "You've been holding out for too long."

"You think your cunt can handle all of it when you finally give in?" he asked.

I tried to seem embarrassed and offended but I thought to myself about how it wasn't my vagina which was going to be taking the cum collecting inside of them inside of it but another area of my body instead.

My lips found their way to the cock, shimmering with the antidote which seemed almost like a secondary occurrence by now. The fact that placing the organ inside of my mouth and removing the liquid from it no longer seemed to have much to do with the fact that it was saving my life; now much more the event centered around how much I liked the way the stiff, swollen and smooth flesh felt against my tongue. The way that I could sense the man's arousal and resulting ecstasy as I feasted on him had become far more important to me than the fact that if I didn't do it I would die in agony. And that threatened anguish could not compare to the feeling of heat and pressure between my legs and in my groin everytime I was kneeling before Donaka Mark and sucking him off to within a second of his climax.

Not within a second _that_ night though. That particular night, I was intent on taking Donaka all the way.

"Can I see them?" I asked suddenly but did not wait for an answer to push aside the fabric of the trousers to fully see the ball sack. It was very full indeed, naturally so and aided day after day by his continual refusal to release. Besides being a sadist it clearly appeared the man had a latent masochist inside of him also.

Pains were beginning to seize my stomach but I ignored them, hearing Donaka's stilted breathing as he watched me studying his scrotum.

"Poor baby," I purred and then brought my hand to them, squeezing the sack very gently before I lowered my head to kiss them.

Mark inhaled sharply from the touch of my fingers and lips and outright groaned when I licked them slowly down their middle.

"The antidote," he reminded, but I could tell that his pleasure was suddenly tied to his balls and he was reluctant for my mouth to leave them so hastily.

"Some of it's drifted down and I have to get every drop...you said so," I stated as I started to kiss the round hillocks again and eventually swirled my tongue around their surface, believing if I was to coax any part of the body to become a traitor it was these parts of his anatomy first, heavy with the seed they were impatient to spill.

"Not that much fell," the man remarked in an almost pained tone.

To distract him from guessing my plans for him, I grasped my stomach, fell over slightly and cried out in pain. The action was not entirely feigned and I successfully made my target momentarily forget about the teasing of his balls. "Do it quick," he ordered and I nodded my head, rising to my knees again.

Only I did not start by placing the risen penis into my mouth but let my tongue return to the scrotum. I made the tip of my own pink, smooth and wet anatomy pointed as it neared the underside of Donaka's pulsating organ and let it run upwards to the head. Once that journey was completed, I ran it a second time with the tongue fully flat to get any bit of the antidote missed.

Donaka shifted and groaned in the chair but I moved on directly to roiling my tongue against the erection's raised mushroom like tip, tasting both antidote and Donaka Mark himself as I lapped up the antidote which was saving me.

"What are you doing?" my captor asked, in a voice which betrayed both his confusion and his bliss.

"I'm taking my medicine like you wanted," I breathed huskily, rubbling my chin against the cock. However my hand was going to the testicles below and beginning to play with them, an act completely unnecessary for my salvation. "Are you going to take _yours_?" I asked. "All of that lovely seed saved up...don't you want to let it go? Wouldn't that feel better?" Another question asked before I placed the glans inside my warm mouth and began suckling it.

"What the...fu...fuck?" Mark moaned as he squirmed in his seat. He tried to bolt but my lips quickly slid down his shaft, consuming the antidote and Donaka Mark's dick as well. "Oh God," he moaned, falling back into the seat as I finally put all the knowledge I had discovered over the last few weeks of his forcing me to suck his cock to good use. I had been given plenty of time to find out what did nothing for him and what, on the other hand, could drive him out of his mind with arousal.

He was breathing heavily as I took him all in, his cock traveling down my throat like it was my cunt. I moved my head up and down, up and down on his lap, enjoying the feeling of him writhing beneath me as he tried to get away but his groin wouldn't allow him to.

My lips slid back to the tip of his penis and I began to lower the straps of my teddy to free my large breasts. Looking up to see Mark's eyes on my movement, him panting deeply in his lust, I watched them enlargen as I placed his red, angry cock between my milky breasts and began to heave and press them sensuously against the long piece of his swollen flesh. And how I was getting something out of the contact almost as equally as he was! His dick was smooth and my skin receptive to the feel of it rubbing against my extremely sensitive chest. My clit was throbbing from an accumulation of blood and my nipples were tingling against my palms.

"Erin," he was moaning, his head falling back often in his rapture but always returning to watch the sight I was presenting to him with a showgirl's relish. "I'm...I'm..." he said, not aware of the forfeit his words truly meant to the vow he had made to himself. Too lost to his ecstasy and too magnetically pulled to the orgasm he had been denying himself was Donaka Mark to give a damn at that moment.

My own clit felt like a crab apple sitting in a pool of my cream and I enjoyed the feeling of it and how it was rubbed by the movement of my thighs as I continued to use my tits and mouth to stimulate the man.

I looked up at him, widening my eyes and giving my breasts one good push upward. This sight was what sent Donaka Mark over the edge. I felt his full balls move underneath the heavy weight of my breasts and then was greeted with the sensation of the serpent between those same large mountains of flesh begin to dance and convulse. Soon my mouth was being filled with warm liquid that ran down my throat like a waterfall. There was so much of it, I struggled keeping it within my mouth but I could not waste a single drop of it so kept my lips locked in place. The cum tasted of slightly bitter salt but more of victory as I swallowed it and it flowed straight down to my stomach.

Donaka was trying to catch his breath. Our eyes never left each other once as he unleashed and I could read in his eyes it was probably one of the most violent things he had ever experienced in his fierce and centuries long existence.

His cock offering its last spasm, I removed my lips slowly from it only to feel the man picking me up easily and sitting me upon his knee. His lips found my breasts first and he kissed them ferociously while I moaned, still horribly turned on. His head rose and we were kissing passionately. Desire was met with desire and I was kissing him with my own passion, spreading my legs and wishing his hand would find my clit and bring it to climax too when I felt Donaka Mark's body abruptly tensing. He backed away from me in horror and I saw it clearly in his eyes and on his lips what had made him realize his defeat:

The taste of himself on my tongue.

There was the seed he had been saving for my unused vagina filling my mouth and it alone had alerted him to his failure, at last, shaking him from his after glow.

A wounded look entered the man's brown eyes and I suddenly felt something I had never expected to following my triumph over him:

Guilt.

"I..." I began to say only to find myself thrown to the floor, my exposed breasts kissing the white plush carpet.

Rolling onto my side, I repositioned myself in time to see the man standing, his spent penis looking raw and wet as it dangled between his legs. Donaka Mark stood over me, glaring at me like some betrayed and damaged creature. "Please," I was beginning to say but he would not listen. In a fit of rage his fist met the table and he broke it. I cowered, shielding my face from a shower of wood.

When I looked up again, he was still glaring down at me with some new emotion added to the mixture of pain and fury. Donaka Mark seemed terribly _vulnerable_.

"Donaka I...I'm..." I started to apologize but he screamed over my words, unwilling to hear them.

The man grabbed my head and practically shoved his fist into my mouth, preventing more of the apology from coming out. I looked at him in desperation and he suddenly became almost ashamed. The fist was taken away and my face pushed into the carpet as the man left the room, fumbling with placing his traitorous cock back inside of his trousers.

My face was wet as I turned to look at the mirror, tears streaming down it. Crawling towards the man's main way of keeping watch over me, I was begging for forgiveness from my abuser. In the reflection, I saw a bit of Mark's cum at the corner of my mouth, the fur rug not having stolen it. My tongue came to claim it instinctively and I suddenly saw in the mirror a woman whom had become greedy for any taste of a man she had possibly driven to hate her.

"I'm sorry," I whispered moving my hand towards the glass. I feared the words would fail to move the one they were offered to. And my hand only could touch the one belonging to the other me as my victory truly hit me and just how much I had potentially lost without ever realizing because of it.

* * *

An hour later, I was still at the mirror pleading for Donaka Mark to return, telling him of my sorrow and regret when I heard the door opening behind me. I saw its movement in the glass surface and hoped that my words and remorse had reached the man. I turned around, about to run to the owner of Security Systems Alliance, when my feet quickly stopped as did my heart.

Standing in the doorway, was a man I was familiar with but whom had remained only a stranger. I had seen him sometimes in my nightmares since Suen Jing-Si had shown me images of him in the HKPD. He bore a mask of darkness for it suited his role of sending many a man and woman into that void which remained black and unknowable to mere man. The features carved on its ebony surface were indistinct in cast and he wore a similarly black suit as he handed out death to all whom had offended his lord and master.

A knife sharp and shining was in his gloved hand and as it caught the reflection of the mirror behind me he intentionally and cruelly shone it back into my eyes, blinding me painfully for a a few seconds.

Any hope I felt died then and the chance to make ammends with Donaka vanished while I stared into the dead eyes of Donaka Mark's executioner, knowing it was too late for anything but dying.

I had tasted only a minor and fleeting victory. Donaka had grown tired of playing with me; now the game was over and the knowledge of it tasted far more bitter than the true victor's cum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Keanu;
> 
> I didn't realize that "The Mandalorian" was done by Jon Favreau, the guy whom played Bateman in "The Replacements." I don't know how well you guys got along but I wish you could be a guest on the show. To see you and Baby Yoda would be a double whammy of coolness. I mean, everybody loves you and everyone loves Baby Yoda. Seeing you together...well it might mean world peace. Okay...yeah...I know, nah, it wouldn't. The notion of world peace no longer became feasible to me around the time my classmates couldn't decide on what pizza to buy on Pizza Day. But it would be awfully cute.
> 
> You both make me happy.
> 
> You want to know what really cheers me up too, Keanu? 
> 
> It's thinking of this one scene in "To the Bone." It's near the start. Susan has brought Ellen in to see your character, Dr. Beckham, and she's rambling on and you give Ellen this look. It makes me happy everytime I think of it. It says it all. Your disbelief over the woman and sympathy for the girl. The humor of it. It makes me happy. So, when I'm sad, I think of it. 
> 
> And Baby Yoda.
> 
> But mostly you.
> 
> Much love,  
> Erin  
> XO XO  
> :D <3


	17. Reflection of a Loss Given and a Secret Answered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donaka Mark sends his Executioner after me, following my small victory. However, I make a decision that makes me lose in more ways than I expected.

Months of dealing with Donaka Mark, in our strange tormenting and inadvertently thrilling little dance of pleasure and pain, had made me forget about the man in the black mask, whom was the businessman's hired executioner. Other than in my nightmares, he was hardly a thought and I had come to foolishly believe that my captor would never have the humility to admit his defeat and inability to get from me what he wanted.

With the man's cum still easily recalled by the buds on my tongue, however, it appeared that my paltry victory had pushed Donaka into finally declaring his patience with me ended.

But I did not share his willingness to call the game over that quickly.

Not with one thing left unfinished.

I wanted to live long enough to see the man that I loved and to tell him of that love before I died; to do it to his face and not through the lens of a camera disquised as a mirror.

"No," I whispered and bolted for the bathroom door.

Though the Executioner was far more in shape than I was, being only a few feet away from my destination gave me the advantage and I reached it in time to slam the door infront of his ebony masked face. His eyes seemed to flash red before the door shut, stealing his frightful appearance from my vision.

There was no lock on the door itself, I had long ago discovered. Donaka had never intended for me to be allowed privacy or santuary from him and so I fell to my ass on the cold bathroom tiles, trying to keep the door shut with my weight.

"DONAKA!" I screamed out, feeling my captor's private executioner trying to shove the door open from the other side.

With the name of his employer spoken, the killer relented for a few seconds and I thought I had won, or bought myself some time at least, before a blow came through the door, sending the half above my head breaking in two and falling. One of the pieces hit me as I felt another strike reach the wood behind me. The kick sent my body falling forward and I lay sprawled out on the floor with fragments of wood, like overgrown splinters, lying around me. More landed on top of my back and butt as the man in the mask kicked away the rest of the door while I stayed where I lay, shielding my head.

A gloved hand grabbed my naked ankle and began to pull me out of the bathroom. My hands desperately searched for something to hold on to but only managed to grab the frame of the door. This was enough to momentarily prevent my attacker from being able to drag me any further. Undettered in his intent, the man quickly moved around to straddle my back. I watched in horror as he brought the knife to my fingers aiming to use it to slice them off from my hand.

Crying out again, I removed my hands from the frame and watched as the knife met only more wood. Whimpering, I backed away and managed to crawl through the killer's legs. Rising to my feet, I discovered that my ankle had been twisted from having been held and used to pull my heavy weight. I could barely move without excruciating pain and found myself stumbling to the mirror.

My reflection, terrified and haunted, stared back at me as I went to scream out to Donaka that I loved him, willing to settle for that alone, only to have the Executioner's foot meet the small of my back and force me painfully into the glass. The inside of my cheek was rammed painfully into my canine and blood flooded my mouth to join Donaka's cum.

The same gloved hand, which had grasped my ankle, now clutched the back of my neck and I couldn't find the breath to say the words thst I needed to. The Executioner spun around and threw me on to the bed where Donaka Mark had once spent weeks applying lotion all over burnt skin. Now the masked man was the one whom had leapt on top of me and was hovering over my body but without a shred of similar compassion. His hand was still holding my throat and he was staring into my eyes with calm, cool anger. The knife held to my throat soon ran down between my breasts and stomach and to where my thighs met below my vulva. He pressed the blade in slightly between my folds and I tried to shake my head in protest. When his eyes raised again, they remained on mine, chilling and unmoved as he ran the knife up my body a second tyime, this time cutting the lingerie in the middle.

My breasts spilled out and the killer eyed them oddly. I recognized lust clearly in his brown eyes as he stared at them longingly. He brought the cold edge of his blade to the skin and coaxed the nipples out with some strange maneuverings. I could feel the man becoming aroused by his little mixture of sex and violence and I hit his shoulder in vain, too weak to stop his act of murderous foreplay. He rubbed the knife against my breasts some more until the cross glinted on my pale skin and caught his attention.

As did the brand of it on one of my huge breasts.

The killer brought the blade to its matching bit of flesh on the opposite side and carved into my skin a mate for the cross. Tears flooded my eyes from the pain and when my attacker looked up and saw them he blinked, making me believe for a second that despite his brutality,he was no more than a pawn himself: just a tool Donaka used because he was too disinterested to carry out his dirty work himself.

I tried to implore him not to carry out his master's wishes with a desperate, pleading stare but it could not move him. Slowly he brought the tip of his knife to my heart and I thought of how my chance to tell Donaka Mark that it belonged to him had been stolen. I could not give him my cunt for the fact that it would be an offense to those he had killed but my love had been given to him weeks ago, possibly from our first heated kiss in the back of his limousine.

But, I thought bitterly, it was only the surrendering of my virginity, to prove his theory of survival, which had ever held any interest for him. Yet I could not stop myself from wanting to see Mark one final time to tell him face to face that I was in love with him.

The Executioner raised the knife with the same slowed grace, preparing to let it fall in one swift brutal movement into my heart, when I felt his cock still stiff and pressing urgently into my exposed tummy. Suddenly, unexpectedly, I thought of how I could earn my right to see Donaka again and keep my vow to the people he had corrupted, betrayed and eventually destroyed.

Donaka Mark believed that a pure hearted virgin such as myself could be made to sacrifice her virtue to save herself. He had plotted and planned on an experiment to prove it for months. And while some survivalist instinct would not be the true reason I surrendered, I was about to give him what he wanted.

All he cared about was winning, after all.

My hand slid down the space between both the Executioner's torso and my own until it grabbed the penis persistently poking my belly. I watched as the touch registered in the Executioner's eyes and it dawned on him what was happening. I threw my head back and looked at the masked man through half lidded eyes, trying to feign ecstasy as I wriggled beneath his body. The knife faltered in the air above us as I moaned, a sound permitted though his hand was still on my throat.

Confusion was in the Executioner's eyes but it was soon replaced by his own ecstasy as I used my other hand to undo his fly and bring the erection outside where it marked my belly in precum. A series of moans with some increased writhing underneath his strong, martial artist's body made the killer lower his knife. He placed the blade, still baring my blood, inside of my mouth and on my tongue. Sensing what he wanted, I started to fellate the cold piece of steel in a way similar to what I had done to Donaka's flesh and blood pulsating dick. The killer watched me and I felt more fluid drip from the organ in my hand, making my manipulation of it far easier.

Having gotten his fill out of the sight of me sucking on his knife, the man in the black mask lowered his concealed face to my breasts and rubbed them violently with his mask. I kissed its smooth top and when he raised his head to look at me, my lips found his false ones and I kissed him passionately, still pulling on his spilling cock. Seeing no way out from the situation, I leaned in to where his ear would be lying and spread my legs.

"Come inside of me," I whispered.

The cock twitched in my hands as I lifted my butt off of the mattress to rub my vulva against it. Backing my head away, I ran my tongue on the side of the mask, tasting the strong flavor of its construct. Resting my head back on the pillow, I gazed at him in the same appearance of pleasure.

The Executioner rose to his knees and parted my legs even farther until my labia was revealed and I could look down my breasts, with their erect nipples, and belly and see my clit standing up red and excited; it betrayed all too well that my arousal was not all an act to me. Shame filled my soul but I kept my focus on my intent and not how my body was behaving without my will.

It became harder still when the masked murderer lowered his head and pretended to kiss it with his illusionary lips.

"Ohhhhh," I moaned a not completely fake sound and felt cream flooding out from me.

He looked at me, his cock, red, angry and frightening against the blackness of his suit. Gloved hands found my nipples and he pinched and teased them with his leather gloves, making me almost come, an act I fought with me entire will but was grateful when his hand left me and went to his cock to give it a few similar pulls. I knew he was about one move away from entering me, when I sat up and started to suck on his raw organ, marvelling at how alike it was to his master's.

The Executioner refused to make a sound to praise my mouth's movement up and down its shaft and when I raised my eyes he was only studying me heatedly.

I removed my head from his cock and licked my lips. "Take me in front of the mirror," I said breathlessly, sexily. "Let Donaka see what a good boy you are for taking _care_ of his captive..."

He remained kneeling until I grabbed his impatient cock and led him off of the bed and to the mirror by it. My hand was soon soaked in his precum, the fluid dribbling between my fingers. But I loosened my hold as we stood before the full length looking glass and I fell back against him and his hardened dick still waiting for entrance.

"Now you take me for the first time," I said, looking over my reflected shoulder and into his dark eyes.

That was all I needed to say. The man's hands parted my legs, lifted me by cupping each of my buttocks and hoisting me onto his towering, spewing phallus. I cried out feeling my hymen tearing but also from an instantaneous orgasm, the cock's entrance hitting the nerves within me and my clit. My bud danced in violence as my vagina was clenching around the large piece of flesh that had been the first ever to enter it. The Executioner's hands found my breasts again and I watched him hungrily starting to squeeze them, the top of them spilling out from his hands like snow white mountains in a black leather bra.

His fingers eventually moved to my pink nips and he revelled in toying with them and the result of bliss he could see clearly displayed on my face, reflected before him in the mirror.

"Oh....oh...ohhhh," I moaned my bliss still growing despite my orgasm.

The killer was far from spent, however, and I felt like some doll he had only impaled on his member to amuse himself with by how he could make me come over and over again without his own climax.

His left fingers found my clit and he swirled the index one around it before rubbing it forcefully and fast to draw another orgasm from me.

Meanwhile, the cock made that hollow place inside of me feel whole and hit every place to make me shout out repeatedly.

Seeing my unwanted bliss captured in glass, my body's trembling and my look of desire and passion, I suddenly wept that it was not Donaka Mark stealing my virginity from me but that he was only watching from the other side of the mirror. It might not have destroyed him in turn but the realization had soured my physical delight and I understood that I had betrayed myself once again by giving my purity to someone I didn't love in order to see the man I truly did.

That one was the orchestrator and one merely the tool no longer seemed to matter.

Weeping now in emotional pain besides my erotic bliss, my hands went to the mask. The urge was strong and growing to find out whom was Donaka Mark's hired murderer and to punish myself with the knowledge as a form of foolish and too late absolution; for I knew when I saw the man's true identity, even if he was a stranger, my agony would far outweigh my cursed pleasure. Crying out as his cock hit my womb again, I pulled the mask off from the man's head, only to watch and feel in surprise as his hand clamped over mine in order to help me.

"No...," I whispered in tormented shock as I saw Donaka Mark's handsome face gazing intensely at me from within the mirror.


	18. Reflection of Inevitable Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat and mouse game between Donaka Mark and myself appears to reach its conclusion as both of us get what we want.

I looked in shock at the reflected face of Donaka Mark, different due to the fact that it was reversed, but still the face of the man I had fallen in love with. That love had occurred against my will and was also something I had committed myself to never actually allow my body or soul to have. Only now my captor and forbidden temptation was buried deep within me; triumph and reward finally his after weeks of denial, loss and frustration.

Absently, I realized that the face of my lover in the mirror's smooth glass was what Mark saw everyday and believed himself to look like. He never saw his true image.

But this realization was drowned out by the powerful cries of Donaka's victims, whom suddenly overpowered all other thoughts inside of my feeling mind. I had failed them and I was flooded with shame and guilt over a vow I had not been aware had been broken by my seduction of the Executioner.

"NO! NO! GET OUT OF ME! GET OUT!" I suddenly cried and struggled, vainly trying to erase the sin, but Donaka would not release me.

Gripping my upperarms painfully and to the point where his short nails dug into the soft flesh, he began to shake me in a wild rage. "WHY HIM? WHY _HIM_ AND NOT _ME_?" he demanded. "WHY WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO HIM AND NOT TO _ME_?"

I cried in pain, seeing teardrops falling from the other me's eyes in the mirror. They caught the glint of light there and glittered like liquid, transluscent diamonds on my cheeks. A reply was not permitted to pass by my parted lips and all I could do was weep bitterly at my failure to both Donaka Mark and the souls of the many men and women he had destroyed, myself included.

"No answer?" he replied more lowly, tearing his left hand from off of my arm to clasp my tear covered right cheek instead. "Fine. Let's continue what we started then."

The man resumed his movement inside of me, deep, powerful thrusts that made me imagine in the mirror's surface the chance of seeing the tip of his cock protruding out from my moaning lips. Each push was creating more waves of pleasure that I was drowning under. I wanted to float to the surface and to escape them and yet to be submerged completely all at once.

"No, no," I cried out again. "You promised that you wouldn't!"

His hands moved to my breasts, cupping them lustfully. "That was before you let me inside of you," he hissed into my ear. "Now that you're mine, I'll do whatever I want with you."

Still sliding in and out, Mark began to toy with my large breasts, making me gasp and moan in unwanted pleasure. He rubbed the areola gently, circling them with knowing fingertips before beginning to pull on them like trying to draw out milk.

I screamed out in tormented bliss, panting and still trying to break free from his embrace.

The woman in the reflection looked so sorrowful and desperate. Her face was wet and red and resembled a small child's except for the woman's body on full display being manipulated in the mirror's gaze. The nipples in Donaka's fingers were erect and raw looking and I would have taken them for feeling sore from his touch if I hadn't felt that quite the opposite was true. Deep within the place which was fully aware of that pleasure, I could see Donaka's member snaking around and entering it from behind. That same cunt was filling with blood and subsequent pressure, clenching down on the organ as passionately as the love I felt for the man.

"NO!" I cried out, arching my back feeling another powerful orgasm approaching.

He showed me no more mercy than any of his other victims, pushing me towards the climax. Everything seemed to burst where the rick hard penis was filling me but not it. Having made him come already once that night without his complete consent, Donaka seemed intent on showing me his new and improved self control.

"Do you like that knowing now just who it is inside of you?" he asked, his right hand leaving my breast to pull my head closer to him. His fingers ran through my long brown curls while he pressed me closely to his neck. "Do you like knowing who's making you come? The damned killer who's making you come?"

I blinked painfully hard, hearing Suen telling me of the man's many crimes and offering me the proof. However my body stayed horribly aware of the bliss the man was bestowing to it in the first full introduction of a man's stiff and swollen cock inside the place designed for it.

It was as if his own words had enraged him once more, though. I watched while his face turned red from anger instead of sexual arousal and exertion and saw, felt, his spit hitting my damp cheek as he began another furious tirade. "WHY WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO ANYONE BUT ME?"

His inherent narcissism was at the forefront again and I wept more bitterly knowing that while I had sacrificed my virginity to please Donaka Mark, proving that his theory of survival was correct, he now was only left lamenting that I had not chosen to give it to him instead. I cried again and met his dark eyes, almost black then in his fury, within that looking glass world.

Seeing his face, remembering my logic, I was reminded again of how badly I had hurt the man when I had made him come inside of my mouth and I felt a sudden odd gratitude for his anger and not his sorrow. "I wanted you to know that you were right," I whispered without meaning to, my heart walking blindly forward in remembrance of its lost desperation at having wounded him alongside the very real fear that I had lost him forever. "I thought if I gave you that victory you could forgive me and I wouldn't offend the dead."

Slowly Donaka Mark's anger faded. He swallowed harshly and then kissed my naked shoulder rather violently, working his way up to my neck, which he kissed with the same ferocious passion. "Fuck the theory! I want you, Erin. I want you to give yourself to me willingly. That's what I fucking want now!"

I sobbed, feeling the urgency of his kisses and his touch. "No," I whispered again hearing a chorus of his victims screaming at me that single command and word in return.

"Erin...Erin," Donaka whispered over and over again into my skin, a million times. And though his voice was softer than those he had wronged, it rose above them, carried by the single emotion I wasn't even sure he knew he was capable of feeling: love.

Tears were expelled from my eyes as I shut them quickly and then reopened them with the same speed. I saw in the mirror then my own reflection, my pain.

The mask of the Executioner lay discarded on the floor; I had received my secret wish to give myself to Donaka Mark. I turned my head away, the murderer's large hands returning to my breasts and I knew that the heart beating strongly in that chest beat for Donaka Mark alone.

"Erin," he whispered again, biting gently down on my earlobe.

Biting my lip, I saw the numerous faces of those he had helped destroy. But, still, when I saw our joined reflection in the mirror, I knew that our own destruction lay in my continuing to deny my need for him. I loved him; that could not be erased. But if I continued to refuse him, I was only slowly killing that part of myself in doing so. His victims did not see that nor the fact that I had destroyed, in part, the Donaka Mark they had known. The weakness I saw on the man now, his desire for me, was far too human to be the monster they had been familiar with. Even Tiger would not have recognized him, I would have bet my life on.

We had both come to change because of the other, becoming something that should never existed, some union of heaven and hell but which had been created in a room both my prison and our love nest.

I remembered Donaka's words to me then about his foolish game of cat and mouse:

_"Everything wants to live...to survive."_

It seemed our love for each other was no different. 

I could think of no words to mark my surrender to my tormentor of months. Instead, I let my body tell Mark what my lips could not, falling into arms and finally accepting his embrace instead of fighting it.

"Erin."

My head turned as Donaka's hand was on it again, already helping turn it to him. Our lips locked in a mutual kiss that was as starved as I had been weeks before and which tasted sweeter than the honey he had fed me after. My body was now no longer fighting against my lover's but receiving the hot gift of his still swelled and wonderfully hard cock. I cooed in pleasure and Donaka swallowed the sound. My former boss began to thrust again and I laid my head on his shoulder, letting him have me as he had desired.

"Ooohhhh," I moaned again, the man's hands traveling over my large body, adoring the curves and bringing me pleasure in his lustful admiration.

His fingers played with my nipples again and a fresher mixture of blood, cream and precum came flooding out of me, dripping down my thighs. I breathed in deeply, my hands pushing further into the palms cupping my breasts and bumped my ass and thighs in glorious surrender to the cock within me. Meanwhile, Donaka Mark pushed from behind accepting my surrender with boastful enthusiasm.

I was screaming loudly in my surrender allowing myself to fully experience physical bliss free of guilt.

My eyes darted to our now much more ecstatic other selves in the reflected world but I found myself desiring to see my lover's true face, the image I saw easily seeming still like just another mask. "Mark," I moaned and received a greater thrust which struck my clit and made me momentarily speechless.

"Erin," he replied, grabbing my round thighs and moving me upward on his erection to his apparent enjoyment.

"I want to come seeing your face," I confessed when I had managed to catch my breath.

He studied my own face and licked my clefted chin up to my lips which he tasted sensously again. "Fine," he agreed.

I was expecting him to pull out from me so we could reposition ourselves. However, Donaka remained buried within me as he lifted me and brought us to the plush white carpet. I did not expect nor anticipate the strength and grace which he possessed in moving my body and his own, until I was lying on the ground with him above me. His cock had never left my body once and I instinctively understood that having finally gained entrance to my cunt Donaka Mark was not about to leave until his unleashing. Mirroring his desire, I wrapped my legs around his ass and lay beneath him while we resumed our lovemaking, barely interrupted.

We kissed rapturously as the rythmn was rediscovered and pleasure began afresh.

Mark's hands found my breasts again and he grabbed a large mound and suckled the nipple as I wriggled in delight at the sensation. The sole of my foot trailed down his clothed leg, dipping between for a moment to graze his concealed balls with my toes. His mouth became creative on my breast then and I screamed out in ecstasy from my delight and the way he was still thrusting into me.

The signals of my orgasm were now well known throughout my body, the founder of SSA having taught them to me over and over. But now I experienced his as well, the way that his breathing changed ever so subtly and the expression on his face turning to one of almost painful bliss. When the small, desperate, well pleased noises that were familiar to my climax came joyfully from my mouth, Donaka began to shout out his own and I felt like we were back to being a rabbit and the tiger hunting it.

The cock was spilling my lover's cum inside my womb with the brutality that could never fully be separated from the man. Violence, the strong force of physicality, would always be a part of him. I much preferred, and willingly accepted, him using it for an act of love with me, though, and not war on another. Feeling it spasming in mirrored image of what my own parts were doing, I lay there, moving also but wholly enjoying the feeling of being filled with his seed.

My last twitch was finished a while before his final one and I reveled in the knowledge that I had been throughly loved by a man whom rarely gave the emotion to any.

Spent, but in no way exhausted, he fell on my chest and lavished the area with more kisses and brief sucks as well as bites. "You feel as wonderful inside as you do outside," he praised. "I always knew that you would."

I moved my leg, rubbing against his side and felt fluid dribbling out.

I wanted nothing more than to lie there and bask in the glory of his love and the seed dripping from me but Donaka Mark apparently had other plans. Watching him kneel, my glistening sweat covered body between his knees, I found myself a victim of his strength and whims once more. He grabbed my hips and with a simple lift, roll, pull I soon found him lying on his back with my dripping wet cunt over his face as I was the one suddenly on my knees. Bending slightly forward I looked down to see his face between my legs and looking very, very hungry.

"I want to taste _us_ ," he confessed brazenly. "Your cream, my cum and your blood, all mingled and one."

Before I could even protest, the man had grabbed my ass and pushed my crotch down towards his rising mouth. His tongue instantly entered the hole he had burst through first and I had the inkling that he was tasting his triumph despite his earlier words. It did not negate the truth that he wanted me and not a victory. But still Donaka Mark was not one to keep himself from his pride, ego and boasting. This time it was a silent bragging however, his tongue too busy working on me and savouring every last drop of our mutual juices.

Constantly, I felt my feet being swept out from under me and the breath being stolen from my lungs by the expert martial artist. He did not need to lay either foot nor hand on me. All he needed was his mouth.

Uncomfortable at first, my shyness returning by his exploration of my now dirtied cunt, I soon found myself being enticed out of my reticence by his clever mouth. I wriggled about on Mark's face, knowing he was brininging his saliva into the sexual recipe between my thighs. Arousal growing, my hands found my tits and played with them as my lover orally cleansed me.

When he lowered his head back to the floor, I saw him lick away the mixture of us from his lips and felt still horribly turned on and in need of either satisfaction or my ardour being successfully doused. It was not a fact that had escaped Donaka or his naughty tongue.

"I'm tasting more of _you_ now, Erin, than myself," he stated.

"You only have yourself to blame for that," I groaned, feeling that the room was almost as warm as when Zhao Yifei had raised the temperature to a dangerous heat.

"And I plan to take care of you," he said. Hands reached up to grab my tits and squeeze them and I threw my head back and cried out in pleasure.

Once again his head was buried within my folds while he was stimulating my private area with his lips and tongue, simultaneously fooling around with my chest. Running my fingers through my hair, I rubbed the soft underside of my groin into his face in ecstasy and was surprised for a second time when eventually he lowered his handsome head before I had reached climax.

"Look behind you," he instructed.

Glancing over my shoulder in almost painful arousal, I saw his erection long, large and ready at my back.

"Go to it," came his next instruction.

I moved my ass backwards towards it and slipped it inside the freshly wet and warm vagina waiting for it. It felt good for the both of us, I knew instantly. Donaka's eyes shut in sublime pleasure and I gasped while I began to move up and down on the towering phallus. It was sliding within me, back to the place which had denied it for too long and now could not seem to get enough of every inch of its swollen beauty.

A return of hands to my breasts, and I looked down at Donaka knowing that during the months of my captivity he had been studying me carefully, making mental notes of what gave me the most pleasure.

There was one thing that he might not have realized, though, I thought: I equally enjoyed bringing him pleasure. Studying his features, I tried to quickly learn what the man enjoyed in my body's movement on his also telling erection. I was a quick study and soon he was receiving as much sensual pleasure as he was giving me to his surprise but welcomed delight.

How I loved him, I accepted wholeheartedly, viewing his face seized in ecstasy and his eyes locked with mine. I begged the forgiveness of many dead men and broken women I would never meet but I could not change the fact that the man had my love. In a way, that love was worse, perhaps, than the offering of my body to him. Consequently I understood I should never have run from this inevitable act of surrender. Donaka Mark had taken my heart and placed it within his then unseen red and gold box on the day of our first meeting. Neither of us had known it then but it had happened as surely as we were making love. What he would do with it following my surrender was as much a mystery to me as the ritual he gained his immortality from but it hardly mattered in that moment to either my heart, soul or body.

More cries of rapture filled my prison and we were coming in unison for a second time. This time, however, Donaka Mark did not taste me afterwards but allowed me to rest on him fulfilled both physically and emotionally. Gently he turned me over, after a few minutes of quietly stroking my hair, always preferring to be the one on top. He rested his head on the pillow of my right breast, while his fingers still played with my curls.

"I don't want to let you out of me," I confessed shyly. "I wish I could feel you always inside."

Donaka Mark raised his head and looked at me, some dark secret held in eyes now lighter for his rage having come and gone; just as he had come successfully into the place he had desired since he had seen me with Suen Jing-Si.

"You seem like the type of girl whom gets her prayers answered," Mark commented, brushing strands of hair from my sweat covered forehead.

Though my body was still heated, I experienced a chill like the time the only warmth that had been offered was Donaka's own.

I watched as the businessman took the ruby laden cross from off of my chest. He turned it over in his hands before clutching it and I looked at him in sexually satisfied but wary curiosity.

His eyes on mine, Mark kissed the cross and laid it gently between my glistening breasts. My only lover then lay down beside me, taking me in his strong arms. "Yes," he whispered and kissed the top of my head, lovingly but with own secretive amusement. "You're prayers will be answered and it's fitting because now it's time for bed."

With that vague proclamation, Donaka kissed me tenderly again and we held each other on a formerly pristine carpet now stained by the end of the game.

Or, at least, one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Keanu;
> 
> This took me all day to write and I don't know why! 
> 
> I had a note to write to ya but I'm coming up to my own bedtime. 
> 
> Tomorrow hopefully.
> 
> Much love,  
> Erin  
> XO XO  
> :D <3


	19. A Reflection of Himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donaka Mark lets me know and partake in the ceremony of his immortality.

I was served a meal of red following my surrender to Donaka Mark and after the uncounted hours which followed where I offered myself to him over and over again.

Red meat came in the form of a Tomahawk steak cooked rare.

"Remind you of us?" Donaka asked.

The long bone sticking out from the bleeding beef reminded me of Donaka Mark's penis pushed into my cunt and I suffered another wave of desire for the man seated across from me, drinking his red wine and eating his meal with the appetite he had acquired from unceasingly making love to me.

I was in a new red and sexy ensemble of a bodice, which pushed my breasts up and made them into two large, white mountains, paired with a lacy pair of underwear below. Watching Donaka eat, however, I was growing more and more sexually excited again, reminded of the way that same mouth had feasted on me, and I was staining my fresh panties with freshly flowing cream.

Dessert was served: Red Velvet cake sprinkled with oversized raspberries of deepest red.

"Those are your favorite berries, correct?" Mark asked, looking at me from over his wine glass.

"Yes," I replied.

He nodded. "I thought so. They remind me of your clit."

The part to which he referred throbbed in wanton lust at his remark and I looked down at the masterful sweet placed before me.

"This is very good," I replied taking a sample of the cake and the berries together. "But it's not my _favorite_ dessert."

Wiping my lips off with the provided ivory napkin, leaving a smear of red on the cotton from the raspberries' bright blood, I rose to my feet and walked slowly towards Donaka Mark. My hips swung back and forth, freer now that he had often been placed between them, and I went to my knees before him. I was not poisioned this time, there was nothing motivating me except for my own unfettered want, all the pretense and excuses torn and thrown out of the way now, so that all that remained was my obvious need for Donaka Mark.

Smiling, the man turned his chair to face me and I rested my breasts on his knees as I started to loosen his belt and then fly. Donaka looked on in anticipation at my fingers work, but was eventually distracted by the sight of my heaving pale, hills. I saw the bulge in his trousers growing, even more so as he ran the back of a finger over their smooth surface. My clit throbbing, my hole leaking, he placed the same finger into my cleavage while I unleashed his erect and reddening cock. My boss wriggled his finger inbetween the slit between my breasts and I cooed in pleasure.

My lips parted, and grabbing the erection, I met Donaka's eyes. He removed his finger from my cleavage and brought his hands to my face, to cup it lovingly. Staring at each other, our eyes locked, Donaka spread his legs, making me fall forward, my bosom colliding with his clothed balls and his unsheathed penis. This latter fell into my cleavage, the contact causing us both to close our eyes in ecstasy from the feel of the other.

"I love you," Donaka commented, tracing the curve of my cheek with his finger. "I've never felt that before. You make me weak, Erin."

"I love you too," I told him and then lowered my head to the red head of my true dessert.

* * *

While Donaka Mark came inside me many times after the taking of my virginity, he never allowed me exit from my prison. Not that I exactly cared anymore. With the threat to my safety now over, and the voices of the man's victims appeased inside of my mind, I basked only in the sexual pleasure derided from letting the man have me in any way he desired and claiming him in the same fashion too.

He fucked my tits while I lay squirming on the carpet, only to arch my back as his seed fell like warm rain on my breasts and face.

I rode him for a second time on the bed of white, crying out loudly from the feel of his cock reaching my womb.

Another time, I witnessed my own pleasure in the glass as Donaka bent me over that same bed and took me analy. While there had been pain in the beginning, he had known how to overpower it, to turn it once more into rapture and I saw him meet my eyes in the mirror as he thrusted from behind, moving his swollen, elongnated piece of flesh inside of me. The moment our gaze became joined, my orgasm came, followed almost at the exact time as his own. We stayed, gasping and bent over the bed, still staring at one another in the mirror and I wondered, not for the first time, if my captor was still massing a fine collection of erotica starring the two of us.

I had watched him brush the hair away from my neck, while this thought was still inside my head, and gently kiss the skin now revealed there and had hoped that that moment of tenderness had been caught, as well.

One day or night (my sense of time still hopelessly lost) Donaka was on top of me on the bed in the prison cell turned love nest, sensuously pounding into me while I lay beneath him, accepting every inch of his masterful and violent cock. His cum I accepted in the same way and following our climaxes, he fell to my side and took me into his strong arms again, licking the sweat and tears from off of my face.

I nestled in close to his spent body and kissed his chest. "Are you leaving me again?" I asked.

He had abandoned me sporadically since our bodies union, needing to return to SSA to handle company business. While he always returned to me, I feared the approach of another business trip, one where I would be left behind for longer than mere hours.

Fate easily reading my fear, my lover replied. "Yes. Infact, I have a business trip to the States planned for the end of the week."

More tears escaped from my eyes; feeling them against his bare skin, Donaka took my head in his hands and kissed them away also. "Even your sorrow tastes good," he commented before kissing me, letting me taste them mingled with the cream on his tongue.

"Did you wish to come with me?" he asked, soft and sinuous.

I pushed my body against his, grabbing his middle and kissing him fiercely as my answer.

Grinning down at me, our bodies touching, hot and wet, he reached around and grabbed a handful of my ass. "I thought you would," he stated. Searching my eyes and the smile he had created on my lips, Donaka finally began to broach a subject we had been circling since our first meeting. "I have many enemies, Erin, not the least is Superintendent Jing-Si. She's getting closer to me. I didn't want to mention it and spoil our little paradise."

I cried out in distress, a sound that seemed to eminate from my vagina at the very thought of never knowing Donaka Mark's piece of hot cock again.

"Would you like to help me survive should any of them catch me?" he whispered, grazing my ear with his lips. "Including Jing-Si?"

"Yes," I said, clutching on to him, thinking of the irony and my own apparent disloyalty that now I was vowing to protect the man I had promised the woman I'd help to trap.

"Would you let me do something to you?"

"Anything."

"Even if it hurts?"

I remembered the moment of severe pain as he had slipped his cock into my unstretched anus. It had been excruciating but sufferable and the pleasure afterwards more than enough. I knew, though, too, that living my life without Mark would now make any other pain seem a vague and worthless thing.

"Yes," I replied and kissed his shoulder, sucking on the smooth, beautiful skin there.

"I thought you would," he remarked again and kissed me passionately.

As I sat on the bed, Donaka soon joined me and I looked at him almost shyly. "What do I need to do."

The man took me into his embrace a second time and kissed me, telling me with his action that I was his good girl and he was well pleased. He took his arms from around me again and then lay on his back, our mixed fluid still making his cock glisten as I gazed down at it.

"Sixty Nine, Erin," Donaka Mark said. "Your head below my waist; you sucking on me with your legs spread by my face. I want you opened up to me."

I noticed the way he was clenching his left hand then, making it into a fist and repeating the act several times. Instantly my eyes flew to meet his in understanding. He was telling me something he thought I needed to know without the use of words, warning me, perhaps _teasing_ me a little. For he knew what my reaction would be when I figured it out. I recalled the words in the book regarding the immortality ceremony and how it was only for those women whom were unknown to all except for the man they would be hosting; about how it took a certain type of woman to withstand the pain caused by the ceremony.

I thought then too how she would need to be part masochist to agree to it or love the man in question very much.

Finding a scar on my arm, I looked back to Donaka Mark lying there, still staring and me calmly and I nodded.

Naked, I swung my leg over Donaka's chest and positioned myself over the man, as he had requested. I could smell the scent of us both coming off of his cock and knew from the viewpoint Mark was offered, he might be able to see the way his sleeping member was exciting me, just as the thought of my opening being blatantly displayed to him was also.

"Keep your mouth on my cock," he warned me. "Don't let it go. Swallow everything that I give you. And don't look back. What I place inside of you, where it goes and what is given...take it. Take it like the strong, brave, good woman I know that you are."

His praise was turning me on all the more, even past the fear I was feeling, knowing what was to come.

"Take me in your mouth," he ordered and I lowered my head to the dormant cock and began to fellate it, coaxing it to wake up for me with the charming of my tongue and lips.

It worked. Cum and cream coating my mouth, I felt the organ swelling and becoming hard within my warm, moist orifice. Donaka breathed heavily behind me and his breath hit my perineum making me shiver.

"Not ready yet," he inquired, seeing my cunt's reaction before him. "Might as well have fun while I'm here."

His face was soon buried into the tender flesh of my underside and his tongue explored my hole as his hands grabbed my thighs and stroked them repeatedly. I wanted to cry out in pleasure but had my instructions to keep him inside. Even when his tongue's playing had lasted so long that I had come, my lips remained wrapped around the now fully erect cock while I convulsed in my coming.

"Ready," Donaka purred, rubbing his face into my now even wetter folds and I heard him beginning to say words beneath his breath. It was Chinese, this much I knew, but it sounded almost like some earlier far less evolved version of the language. I was hypnotized as I felt the knuckles of his left hand begin to enter me.

 _"Babies are meant to go through there,"_ I thought to myself, precum beginning to flood my mouth and trickle down my throat. _"It's just his hand, it's just his..."_

Tears filled my eyes as the fist went further in and my pain grew. I continued to suckle the cock, doing so now for my own comfort too, like it was a monstrous thumb. I wanted to cry but I couldn't risk taking the action further and releasing the cock completely from my mouth. But the agony was only growing the more the fist journeyed, until even Donaka's arm was inside of me. I focused on the unknown words then and my lover's deep and hypnotizing voice.

Struggling, my lip's movement becoming erratic from my desperation, Mark knew my pain and I soon felt his free hand finding my clit to rub and toy with it. Pleasure joined the torture now and I resumed my more sensual working of the penis within my mouth. Not content to just stop at this certain pleasing of me, Donaka's tongue found my ass and began to lick it, between loving kisses bestowed upon my ass cheeks and the chant still being confidently made.

I was becoming more and more turned on. Even the arm and fist inside of me suddenly felt good in their stretching of me. Thinking of Donaka taking me with the very anatomy he used to fight and defend himself with, his warrior and creator's hand, I suddenly felt honored to know it in such a way. I moved my body up and down on his arm and was surprised to hear Donaka almost lose his concentartion. The words were almost fumbled over but he caught himself in time. He found his place once more. But knowing my willingness began to move his arm back and forwards.

Such a feeling of bliss and agony, violence and peace filled my body. As Donaka Mark began to come, I joined him, spurred on by knowing I had aroused him by my sudden submission and enjoyment of his fisting of me. What Mark shot into my mouth did not seem to be his seed alone but something deeper, richer. Similarly, I felt the bussinessman opening his fist inside my womb. Something was pouring out from it, I knew, as on the other end his cock was a forceful waterfall spilling down my throat. He was filling me through my opposing orrifices and my body was rapturously shaking from the force of whatever he was doing to it. What else did I need to know other than that it was ecstasy, pure and simple.

Just another lesson and experience in it that my captor had given me.

The dick between my lips gave its final spurt and felt less hard now that it had unleashed. Still, I kept it lying on the bed of my tongue as it fell back into sleep.

Donaka closed his hand and started to pull it out. It made a wet pop and glop as he wrenched it free from my vaginal canal. Loose now, Mark shook his arm and hand, spraying liquid off of it and on to my buttocks.

"You can let me go now, Erin," Donaka instructed hoarsely. But as I let the penis slip out of my mouth, I felt that Donaka Mark had not truly left me this time. Some of his very soul remained inside for me to keep safe.

With his same physical artistry, he grabbed me and sat up, cradling my sore, full body in his arms, one of which was covered in blood.

"Beautiful baby," he cooed. "Beautiful girl. You did so well my beautiful woman."

I looked up at him again, feeling happy that I had survived it and hoping I had made him proud of me too. Donaka looked down at me and the tears which had slicked my cheeks; his expression faltered as he saw my eyes and my small, hopeful smile. He kissed my forehead and then his lips found my own. The kiss contained a bold hunger but also a certain gentleness. It was as if he were afraid if he gave in to his natural violent passion he might actually break me, this time.

Whether it was because he did not wish to hurt me or the part of himself he had hidden inside of me, I could not tell nor did I particularly care.

Our eyes met in the mirror again and he held me tighter, protectively. "Tomorrow, I'll let you know what to do to place the life back within me."

I smiled at the other Donaka Mark in the mirror, knowing I was a reflection of him now too to some degree.

"But you might not like it," he stated, almost afraid. "It's worse in its way."

I grabbed his bloody arm and confessed my earlier thought. "Nothing could be worse than a life without you."

Our eyes met again and another kiss was given to my sweat covered brow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Keanu;
> 
> I thought I had picked out what Christmas present I would give you. Then I realized it was actually a horrible gift to give. A gift should be something that makes the receiver happy and has to do with them. This was going to be a Minnie Mouse Funko keychain. She's riding a Dumbo ride in it. I saw a pic with you once with a Mickey Mouse phone so I wanted to tell you that I'd be your Minnie. Except, I *feel* more like Dumbo, which is my icon here so...
> 
> But that was just dumb. Why would you want anything to remind you of me? You deserve something for your own personality.
> 
> So, I'm on the lookout again.
> 
> I'd want to make you happy. So, while I know I can never give it to you, I like to think of what I could get to make you smile. Because when you smile, I feel happy too.
> 
> Much love,  
> Erin  
> XO XO  
> :D <3


	20. Reflection of a Grieving Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donaka Mark sets me free.

"Here," Donaka Mark said as he placed a large white box on the bed we now frequently shared.

I glanced at him before taking the lid off from it. But while I had been expecting another negligee or other provocative piece of skimpy clothing, my eyes rested on a conservative business suit. The only thing daring about it was presumably the price and the shade of the striking thing: devil red.

I clutched the cross at my neck before holding the suit's jacket up, reminding myself that it was a color and nothing more. It was beautiful but, then again, Donaka was a man of taste and quality and he allowed for nothing else.

Raising my head, I saw him staring at me, a wide grin on his face, his eyes sparkling with his own secret amusements. "Do you know what it _means_?" he asked me.

Turning to study the suit once more, the answer was obvious. "It means your setting me free," I replied, startled by how much the possibility scared me _now_ while once it had brought me only peace.

"Yes," he returned proudly, slipping behind me and wrapping his arms around my middle as I continued to stare at the suit. He rested his head on my shoulder and I tried to ignore my want for his sexual entrance, feeling his body so close behind me. "But don't worry, Erin. I'm not about to let you go so easily."

And with a part of him hidden within me, I had little doubt in his words.

* * *

Donaka helped dress me.

It was probably part of his need to control but my own submissive nature fell easily into it. Whereas, before I would have been shy, he had pulled me violently from that stage. He knew every inch of me, both body and soul, but as he did up the buttons on the bright white blouse, I knew he would never afford me the same courtesy of knowing him. Looking into his eyes, still holding on to their own mysteries, I realized that he was very much akin to his damnable red and gold box. Blood had been shed for him, destruction and corruption had been his main spoils. And though he had, at last, shared the secret of his immortality, he was still as closed to me as the box of dragons, their mouths all open to devour, save one.

He lifted his head, and as our eyes met, I almost felt the fragment of his soul calling to return. I wondered then how much was left inside of him, while he offered me a playful smile, squeezing a breast before starting to slip me into the red jacket. He had been playing his game of resurrection for centuries now. How many women had he given his soul to and what had happened to them after it had been returned? Looking at my lover, I knew what lay inside of me, my own soul and his, but what truly lay inside of Donaka Mark?

Could anyone, including himself, even answer the question anymore?

In pity, in love, I went to him then, holding him protectively and kissing him passionately enough to whisper that maybe he needed protection from me as well. Startled at first, Mark began to return the kiss, his hand journeying up my back to grab the base of my head, sending a ripple of pleasure through me like the peal of a bell having been struck. He started to overpower my ferocity, another action meant to show that even if I surprised him he could still always gain the upper hand. And, though, his tongue was entering the mouth which had called forth his seed before his cleverly constructed plans, I felt hopelessly that he was right.

Still, I kissed him with my own violence, feeling as if the part of Donaka Mark that lay waiting inside of me longed to return to its true body and be made as whole as it could be.

* * *

When I was taken out of my prison, this time I was not in Donaka's arms nor was I burnt. I walked out on my own two legs, now in a pair of scarlet heels. Donaka closed the door behind me and I turned back to see him standing there, his back to the cage he had fashioned for me, another devious grin barely contained on his handsome face.

He held out his arm, motioning me to traverse the corridor to the door at the end of it. When I began to walk, the heels made an unnerving sound like a gunshot on the recently polished and shining floor. Mark on the other hand (or foot more fittingly) did not make a sound as he followed like a shadow. I thought of him as a ghost in that moment, a fact which might have been made real by the fact that he had died several deaths already.

Coming to an elevator, I stopped only to feel Donaka come up behind me, grab my hand and press the control panel with my finger. When the doors opened, he swept me into it simultaneously. Inside of the four closely spaced walls, my former boss and captor pushed me up against one of them and kissed me, his hand creeping up my skirt. "Remember that day in the limo?" he said hoarsely into my ear.

I nodded and bit my lip as his fingers pushed aside my pantites again to dip into the folds. He gave the clit a rub before slipping down to the opening itself. Remembering his searching for the proof of my virginity before, the fear came suddenly that I might mean less to him now that I was _used_. Fingers went deeper inside and I moaned out. Before he took it any further, however, he slid the digits out and brought both of his hands, wet and dry, to my face.

He stared at me, strangely, taken a back, blinking twice quickly. "There's my girl," he whispered, staring into my eyes and seeming as struck by the words as I was.

The elevator made its sound of arrival and Donaka turned around, stealing his startled gaze from me. I composed myself but found the businessman back to his smooth, confident self as I took a step forward to stand by his side. For a second time, he motioned me forward and I stepped out of the elevator and into my freedom.

The office room which greeted me looked very much the same as when I had left it. The only great change was the fact that someone else now was sitting at my desk and working away, a look of professionalism in her eyes that I had, in no way, possessed myself.

"You had me at SSA all along," I said softly, taking note of the way the people I used to work besides now glanced at me in passing. My reappearance disturbed them as much as my dissappearance probably had and I felt both insignificant and powerful as Mark came to stand beside me..

"Yes," he answered. "Sometimes the best place to hide something is the _closest_ place at hand."

His now crept around to my ass and patted it lustfully.

"Most animals possess a blind spot," he continued. "Suen Jing-Si is no different. She couldn't see what was right under her eyes the whole time."

"I thought you convinced her I was back in Canada," I remarked.

Donaka subtly pushed me forward, an act which might have made me believe it was of my own volition if I hadn't been so attuned to the force of his hand and his subtle ways of manipulation. "Women like Suen rarely remain convinced," he stated, moving us towards the doors.

The casual but cruel glances, Donaka's information that the HKPD Superintendent was still looking for me and some cloud of intuition hanging over my head, made me long to return to the relative safety of my prison. Once my virginity had been surrendered, it had been a place of comfort. Now, my freedom returned, I realized the danger of living a _free_ life. Animals in captivity didn't need to worry about predators nor the hunt. Free of my cage, I could not be sure of what lay around the corner. But with my lover by my side, his hands still on me intimately, I tried to soothe my worries, reassuring myself that as long as I was with him things would turn out all right.

Donaka Mark was leading me to the main entrance of the building and I felt as if we were stepping into a dreamstate together. Things slowed, sounds included, and my eyes met his, trying to convey some of what I felt. Something was _wrong_. Still, Donaka was looking at me with his secrets, the lid still tightly closed on the box that was his soul.

As he was pulling me outside, as my words started to form the question of why he was choosing such a visible way to make our exit, I realized that the droning hum I was hearing, muffled by my beating heart, was the sound of approaching sirens. Standing outside of the intimidating building that was SSA, Donaka suddenly halted after a police cruiser screeched to a halt before us.

I clearly saw Suen Jing-Si behind the wheel, through the windshield, and as she climbed out of the seat, I saw another familiar face behind her. Thick glasses, lavendar hair: Donaka Mark's former personal physician was staring at me, pure loathing in her eyes.

Instinctively, I moved closer to the man whom had been my tormentor once upon a time but was now the man I loved.

"Donaka Mark you are under arrest for the abduction of Erin Smyth," Suen Jing-Si spat at the man, offering me a prolonged glance before aiming her gun at the head of SSA.

Other squad cars were pulling up now, officers emerging, getting out their own guns, ready and aimed at their quarry now as well.

"Does she look like she's been abducted?" Donaka asked and the flash of confusion and anger in the superintendent's eyes made me feel ashamed with how I was clutching onto the man we had once both viewed as the enemy, both offering and receiving protection.

"It doesn't matter," she snapped. "We have enough evidence of your other crimes to put you away for a millenium."

There was no fear in my lover's eyes at the woman's threat, only a cold, clear indifference, a look which would haunt me when I remembered it later.

When the sound of the cruiser's door opening reached us, Mark and I looked to it, while Suen Jing-Si turned her head to see Zhao Yifei exiting from the vehicle. In her steady, vengeful hand was held her own gun.

However, it was not aimed at Donaka Mark.

It was aimed at me.

"NO!" both Mark and Suen screamed in unison, the first and last time they would ever be in agreement over anything.

While the scorned woman pulled the trigger and Jing-Si spun around, Donaka Mark moved his body in front of mine. We were so close already that speed was not essential but I felt the force of his arms wrapping around me as the bullet entered his body, spraying blood on to the gray suit of his enemy.

Zhao was screaming until her own voice was silenced by a shot from the superintendent's gun. This fact hardly mattered to me, however, as I fell on to the ground, Donaka's body on top of me in some twisted act of the position our bodies had been in often during our life together in my hidden prison.

"No, no," I was repeating as I grabbed Donaka's face, expecting to see some life in his eyes, some sign of him urging me to remember what I held inside of me and what I must do now. But all that greeted me was a blank and lifeless stare. "NO!" I screamed for a second time, holding my lover's dead corpse to me in loss and sudden doubt. "No, no no..."

The policemen began to swarm around us, their sirens still blaring while I continued to hold Donaka Mark, matching their harmonious yet horrible sound.

* * *

The Hong Kong Police Department was very much the as the office at SSA had been: the same. The frantic business of trying to keep the city safe went on around the Superintendent's office, where she had spent close to an hour informing me about her attempts to locate me during the past weeks.

"We never thought he'd keep you so close to Hong Kong," Jing-Si stated almost apologetically. "We tried our best, Erin. He left no trail because he'd never actually _made_ one. He abducted you and brought you back to Security Systems Alliance. But we did find you."

 _"Too late,"_ I thought. By the time they had I had already realized I was in love with my captor. He had seeped into my blood and soul even before committing his act of immortality on my body. All that was left for him to do was say a few words and take me in that one painful yet somehow beautiful way. "Was it Zhao?" I asked aloud. "Was she how you found us?"

"Yes," Suen stated ignoring my use of the word us. "It seems Donaka made the mistake of firing her yesterday. It took her a day to make the decision to come to the station."

I nodded feeling shaken and frightened. If it wasn't for the piece of life inside of me, that I needed to keep safe, and the hope it represented, I knew I would be dead already.

The silence between us warned me that personal questions were about to come and I rose, stumbling to my feet, aware that time was too important now to waste it with avoiding embarrassing, intimate and uncomfortable questions. "Can I please go home now?" I asked.

She stared at me harshly. "We will need a statement."

"Fine," I stated. "Tomorrow. I'll give it tomorrow. You owe me that."

She stared at me for a long time until she finally bought the lie. "Tomorrow."

Donaka Mark had apparently corrupted me to the point of making me a far better liar than I ever had been before.

* * *

The apartment Donaka had taken me from was the third and final place which had remained unchanged. I had been forced to come there when a police escort had taken me to the only home in the city they suspected me of having.

I passed the Miko statue Mark had given me on my rush to the window, intending to make sure that the policeman had gone. It was then that I saw two things laid out on the small dining table, waiting apparently for my coming. The escort forgotten about, I walked towards them.

One was a cloak of deepest crimson; the other a familiar looking box of red and gold.

Taking the latter in my hand, I felt the coldness of it and shivered, thinking of my lover's body growing gradually colder too. Flipping the lid wide open, the very thing which I had never been able to do with its owner, I saw my reflection in its gold lining again, not startled this time but bereaved.

Inside of the box lay a small sheet of paper, bearing four simple words written by a hand I had recently been _intimately_ familiar with:

_**Come and get me.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Keanu;
> 
> So, with the penultimate chapter of this twisted story of love, hate, attraction and lust, and now that I've told you several times *why* I love you, maybe I should explain a little better why I hated you. You might be curious about it by now.
> 
> On Saturday, I watched a movie called "The Shop around the Corner." It has James Stewart in it. I love it but there was a time that everytime I watched it I thought of this woman. We'll call her Kate. She loved that film and she loved James Stewart. But there was somebody else that she was even crazier about. She'd seen him once in Toronto. Maybe you know him? His name is Keanu Reeves.
> 
> Kate hurt me very much. 
> 
> Her and that man I mention often here, my very own Estella: Jordan. 
> 
> He was using her as much as he used me and I think that toxicity wore off on her leading up to what she did. I can understand in a way but it doesn't make it hurt less.
> 
> Right before Christmas 2016 they did something which pretty well devastated me. I won't go into details about it. It hurts too much. It was humiliating. I did reference it in my Bad Batch fic here but, right now, I'm too ashamed to. I don't want you to think badly of me. I know I wasn't completely innocent. 
> 
> Anyway, Kate always used to talk about you. She even used a photo of Johnny Utah as her social media icon several times. And that's the problem: OCD seems to be based on conditioning and fear. I kept seeing you on her page and came to associate you with her.
> 
> You became a very bad trigger for me.
> 
> I hated you for that...because she liked you and because I'd be in pain and frightened whenever I saw you. And since John Wick 2 came out the next year...I saw you an awful lot.
> 
> A certain toxicity leaked into me.
> 
> In 2018 I gave up on any hope of ever contacting Jordan again and receiving an ending to a painful part of my life. I'd loved him since I was about 7 years old. That wound was one that I thought would never heal. 
> 
> Around that time, I started to rewatch Gotham. My mom loved it before she died and we'd watch it together. She loved Robin Lord Taylor and watching him and thinking of her made me feel better. 
> 
> When I heard he was in the latest John Wick I was sort of upset at the start, knowing you were the main star. How could I see it without seeing you? But I thought I could look past it. 
> 
> Something strange happened...the more I saw of you...well the less I found myself being scared anymore. 
> 
> I actually felt attracted to you. 
> 
> My OCD, what happened with Jordan and Kate...it made me feel hopeless and frightened. But when I saw you, I wasn't anymore. I felt comforted. And I felt like *me* again.
> 
> When I watched John Wick, I knew that I liked you in that way. It was natural and not forced. It felt right when everything else felt wrong. I've gone into what you mean to me before and how much I care for you, Keanu. I'll probably go into it again for as long as I keep having stories to tell for you here.
> 
> You taught me to not let triggers rule me too. Oh, I still fall to them but...if I had kept on letting a certain one get to me, I'd have missed out on you. And now that is a thought that scares me.
> 
> So I hope you will understand better now why I say that I hated you. And I hope you can forgive me and understand a little too. And I also pray that you won't think it too strange when I say that I love you, even if we don't know each other and probably never will.
> 
> You see, I still believe that I loved Jordan, even though I truly did not *know* him, despite the fact that we *had* met. And I loved him afterwards in the face of the fact that he had hurt me so badly. 
> 
> So, it seems a sin not to say that I *love* you over so small of a fact as you and I never having met. Especially when you are the man who helped put my heart back together when I thought that that was impossible because the pieces were so small and too crushed.
> 
> I guess, John Wick isn't the only one capable of pulling of impossible tasks.
> 
> Much love,  
> Erin  
> XO XO  
> :D <3


	21. Seeing Past A Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I attempt to resurrect Donaka Mark in a most unusual fashion...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! :D <3 Another story done! The second full length novel! And I do believe that this puts me over my 900,000 words in a year goal for this series. I was going to try for a million, actually, but in October I realized that was impossible for me. I would have had to have worn myself out and missed out on the holiday season if I had a hope of reaching it. So the next best thing was 900,000. 
> 
> The last love scene in this was planned for my Christmas Swedish Dicks story but then it changed. Still, I hated it going to waste; then I remembered where this ends, so...
> 
> I hope you will enjoy the end of the story. Now *know* what it is... :D <3

Donaka Mark was aware of one simple fact regarding mankind:

Mostly _everyone_ had their price.

As I waited down the darkened corridor, keeping my eyes on the door behind the guard's back, I understood this, as well. Especially when the moment came that that same guard looked once in my direction before turning and slowly walking away.

What had Mark paid the man, I wondered in my place in the dark? Enough money to make his income from the HKPD look even more like the paltry chicken feed that it was? The murder of the wife he no longer loved or the mistress whom had outlived her novelty? Maybe he possessed a sick child and my lover had promised the guard some miracle cure or enough funds for the search of it?

There was even a chance that the man, now halfway down the corridor, had been the mole all along in the department.

As I stepped forward, wearing the crimson cloak that Donaka Mark had left for me with his playful demand, I gave the stranger all the pity I could afford to him.

Donaka had discovered it with me too, after all.

It might have taken months, but at the end of their passing, he had been victorious over me, bringing me to where I presently was: creeping inside of a building where I was forbidden to be and about to do something that would otherwise have filled me with repulsion and dread in any other circumstance.

Whereas Donaka Mark's assumption had been that my desire for life would make me surrender to him, however, he had not foreseen that _he_ was the only price that was ever truly needed for my own corruption.

That it was _him,_ my captor and my tormentor, my lover and possessor, growing cold inside of the Hong Kong morgue was the sole reason that I was there.

Pushing the door open gently, finding it unlocked, as, no doubt, the instructions had been given for it to be, I slipped inside, a flash of silk blood, shaking in its fear. The door clicked shut, I found the lock and turned it, resting for a moment against gray metal to find either my strength or thoughts, both of which had left me.

My hand on the door, I swallowed and turned to see Donaka Mark's body lying naked on the slab in the middle of the room. An examining light was hanging high above him, giving his exposed flesh an almost translucent glow, as if he were halfway to heaven already. I frowned then, feeling the cross at my neck and knowing that heaven would forever be the only place my lover could not bribe his way inside of.

There was no sound as I walked towards the dead man (my shoes off and discarded at the morgue's entrance,) the glow hypnotizing me as much as the man whose soul had become mostly black long before my parents had even been born. Each step made, I could not say why darkness was drawn to the light and it, in return, sought that which was built of shadows. Perhaps they found in the other what God had deprived them of, so they were forever caught in some dance that created pain and confusion, pleasure and release, both trying to change the other, sometimes failing and other times succeeding so that they were no longer sure whom was whom in those instances.

I saw my naked legs take on the glow, peeking out from the cape, exposed and glowing now too. I had on nothing beneath my covering. That had been one of the man's request when he had revealed to me the final horrible step in his resurrection.

That and one more.

 _"You have to get to me before they perform the autopsy,"_ he had also instructed. _"Not one cut can be made. That's explicit, Erin. You'll have failed me if they do."_

That last bit had been spoken to infuse the guilt inside of me and the direness of the situation, all at once.

My hands rested on the body now lying before me. Old scars were on his stomach, but no fresh wound had been made, save for the bullet that had entered his body and passed through an artery, making him bleed out almost instantly. My hands ran over the flesh and I shivered at the feel of it. My mother once showed me a game she and her friends played in their youth. They would link fingers, turn them about and then dare the other to touch it, claiming that it was what a dead person felt like.

It wasn't.

Caressing my lover's skin, knowing it was the least of the actions I would be doing that night, I realized how cold he felt and how disturbingly still. There was nothing animate about him, I understood. In life, we took for granted those things that made a body betray the life coursing through it: the rise and fall of a chest, the blinking of eyes, the movement of nostril or of lip. Without them, the body became a piece of dead art, static, unmoving and almost an act of blasphemy to all it had once been.

Staring at his face, the lips that first tasted me, the nose that had smelled the arousal he had caused constantly within me and the eyes, now shut, which had seen every area of a body I was not proud of but which he had not shamed me with a harsh judgement, I found myself leaning forward to kiss his still and silent lips, wishing him to be alive once more. This was a part of the ritual, itself, but one done on instinct more than need. I loved this man lying dead before me with my whole heart, being and soul. Though he had caused me pain, though he had brought it to others, I could not let him leave me and remain so unmoving and lifeless. He had given his life for me and I would do the same for him if it was needed.

Tears fell from my eyes and when I parted from him I saw that Donaka's face was now wet and that his closed lips had become separated. A small gasp destroyed our silence as my own lips fell open. Staring at the corpse, I heard the chanting before I even realized that it was coming from my own parted lips.

The words I still did not understand, there was little chance for me to, and it had taken a fair bit of Donaka's patience to teach them to me. But the last few months had proven just how good he could be in that area. I had my lover's assurance that the incantation was not offensive to my God and my faith, for if it had been my lips would have stayed closed and the dead man remained dead, despite my devastation.

As I said them, though, I realized that I could not know for _sure:_ all that I had to comfort myself being what he had told me.

 _"All that you ever had was what he has told you,"_ my conscience or common sense reminded me cruelly.

 _"No, I've had what my heart confessed to me too,"_ I countered, lowering my head for another morbid kiss.

This kiss was opened mouth, my breath filling the corpse's and offering it my words as well. I felt strange inside. What Donaka Mark had left inside of me, burning brightly like the famous poem regarding a certain tiger. The soul that had been placed within me desired return and was too impatient (far from what the rest of it had been) to remember that the proper steps needed to be taken first.

My lips left Mark's, trailing down his chin and throat while I continued my recitation. They kissed the hole, where the bullet still lay and his chest, lovingly, sensuously, working their way down to the scar and then the dark patch of hair. Eventually, they encountered the shaft of his dormant cock and the words I had memorized changed to something else before I took its head between the now silenced lips which turned to fellation instead of incantation.

The part of Donaka Mark which had once seemed so much more hot than the rest of his calm and cool demeanor was now devoid of its fire. The skin was cool as it touched the smooth, moist, warm walls of my mouth, or bristled surface of my tongue, and fresh tears filled my eyes as I suffered heated memories of it buried in some part of my body. I compared those memories to the lifeless and cold object cradled in my mouth hopelessly. My right hand went to the ball sac below to tease it but flinched from the similar feel of the full scrotum.

Nothing was happening and I felt some deviant fool with a dead man's dick inside of my mouth in a dark and abandoned morgue.

_"Just keep at it...even if nothing looks like it's happening...just keep doing it. Being reborn isn't easy; it takes time. Ask that Christ you believe in if you doubt it."_

The cross was dangling between my breasts as I continued to suck and lick the penis held within my mouth. Still nothing was happening. Suddenly, I contemplated that my work was perchance far from being stellar, my timid self too intimidated by the act I had promised to do to do it very well.

To return Donaka's soul to him, I had to put more of my _own_ soul into it, I believed.

I grabbed the cock and let my warm spit drip down its length, coating the shaft as my lips continued clenching the head. Once wet enough for my liking, I let my palm run up and down the body of the member and made my mouth's movements more intense and powerful. I remembered all that Donaka Mark had taught me about oral pleasing when he had forced me to suck his cock for my survival after each meal. I remembered too how much I had come to love the feel of it upon my tongue, smooth and soft, succulent, juicy and delicious. Enjoying myself, I thought I was lost in memories of warmth and movement alone until I realized that it was not mere memory. Mark's penis was coming to life inside of both my mouth and hand, some serpent awakening from the charming of lips and tongue and my eyes shed tears as the cock finally spat out precum inside of my welcoming mouth.

Glancing to Donaka's face, I saw no similar movement there. But still encouraged, I proceeded to the next step of the man's rebirth.

My lips slipped off from the cock and I admired it standing there now, red and beautiful, full of blood and life while the rest of his body was blue and lifeless. Taking a deep breath, I climbed on to the slab with Donaja Mark's body and straddled the man's hips and the penis I had brought to life. It was hot at my entrance and I cooed and shivered, feeling its warmth at my cunt while Mark's cold hips touched my legs. Those two contrasting temperatures struck home once again just how far the man had made me fall to now be on the verge of making love to his corpse. Still his slicked down organ was proclaiming loudly to my body that he was not dead, not completely, but merely sleeping while I held the power to waken him.

If I only found the strength to return what was his.

My hands touched his cold chest again, giving his nipples a few caresses before slinking down to the scar. I had never asked him how and when he had gotten it.

I would have to make it a point to when he was alive and breathing and back in my arms.

On that thought, I brought my body down on the tower of his erection, enveloping him in one forceful motion. His arrival made me come instantly. I was too turned on already by the act of sucking on him _not_ to be half mad in arousal myself. I spasmed wildly on Donaka Mark's corpse, crying out more of the incantation in the process, driven by the bliss claiming my body, hoping that the violence of my convulsing, spilling cunt would more powerfully place more of the man's soul back inside of him.

Panting, gasping, I looked to Mark's face and thought I saw less intense twitches displayed on it, the brief flare of the nostrils, the swallowing of his throat. Motivated to go forward, I started to move my hips, riding his cock in an attempt to please it and send more life back into my lover.

The words of the spell were intermingled with my love cries now. I was becoming turned on again, a fact further heightened while I watched Donaka's face beneath me beginning to show more signs of life.

And ecstasy as well.

"Mmmmmmm," I moaned, helplessly after seeing his face react in sensual delight and then his chest expand with the first breath taken following death.

Yet while his body was reacting to mine, his eyes remained dead and I started to weep as I caught my reflection in them but nothing of Donaka Mark himself.

" _KEEP TRYING_!" I heard Donaka commanding and I put more movement into it, bringing my mouth to his to kiss it lustily and bestow more life.

This caused a stronger more pronounced movement, his buttocks moving up from the slab and pushing his cock further into me. I cried into his mouth and then began a coughing. This expulsion carried with it its own violence and I felt as if I had lost something incredibly important from inside of me. Sitting straight once again, I responded to the movement of my lover's body, feeling the first signs of another climax.

Donaka's face moved.

His eyes blinked and I laughed in happiness.

As my orgasm was coming steadily closer, my lover was similarly brought closer to another chance of living.

What I thought would be gradual, however, was instantaneous.

At one point, the corpse's eyes were glazed and unseeing. Then life sparked within their darkness, awareness and realization. While I went to cry out his name in joy, my voice was halted as Donaka Mark's strong hand grabbed my throat, painfully, restricfully, and glared into my eyes in a certain calm anger.

I wriggled on his cock, wanting to be free but trapped in two places. The hood of my cape fell back and I struggled again before realizing I was only causing myself more pain, which was rapidly transformed into pleasure. He was cutting off my oxygen, making my cunt come alive just as he had right before my eyes.

My eyes...

His eyes...

We stared at one another on the slab, bodies locked at the point of our sexes, in the act of sex itself, and both cast in the strange glow of a halo like light trembling above us.

Donaka continued his heartless stare for a few more seconds before speaking. "This is where I was supposed to kill you," he stated, while I struggled more in my pain and ecstasy. "That is what I did with the others...snapped their necks...as simple as breaking a vase full of ashes..."

I wanted to cry out "No" and to scream out my arousal at the same time, but the fingers, like a vice around my throat, prevented it.

"The spell requires it...I can't do it again if I don't. That was what I planned to do, Erin. Corrupt you, use you and then throw you away. I had it all planned out. That damn Suen would catch me soon so it was my only way...it was so easy...fire Zhao, have her tell on me...save you and then die. And when you showed up here you'd die too. Then I could replace my body with yours, as I had paid the man to do..."

Things suddenly became clear, our trip out the front entrance of Security Systems Alliance and his firing, and thus dangerous alienation, of the already scorned Doctor.

My orgasm was coming quickly, the pressure, the feeling of needing to urinate, which had always turned me on in its own way. I was going to come but the sound would be silenced, as my lover, my traitorous lover, killed me at the peak of my passion.

"Then why can't I do it?" he asked, the once dead eyes now full of a confused, sorrowful rage. "WHY, WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES, DO I NOT SEE ME? WHY DO I SEE YOU?"

I watched two fat tears slip from the corners of his eyes before he screamed in frustration, letting go of my sore throat and allowing me to finally release the sound of my climax. It was an agonized joyful sound, one soon joined by the primal scream of Donaka Mark's own coming. He grabbed at my breasts and squeezed them before taking hold of my equally big ass and began to push upwards.

My vagina accepted his seed, clenching more and more out and to a womb which had once kept Donaka Mark's soul safe and sound.

Our mutual coming was unlike anything I had ever experienced and staring at my lover's face I knew he too was getting something unique from it. I understood then that he had never come inside of any of the woman whom had previously brought about his resurrection. This was his gift to me then: the acceptance that he would let me live and seal his eventual fate.

It was to be a confession of his love, as was the life he was allowing me to keep.

I gasped his name only to hear him whisper mine. Our eyes holding, our locked parts having finished their wild taking and giving, I fell onto the resurrected man's sweat covered chest and felt him panting against my cheek. Breathing deeply, I heard Donaka's heart once again beating and I kissed the skin over it, delighting in the feeling of his hand stroking my back and his almost terribly shy lips kissing the top of my head.

As if I was something fragile he was afraid of breaking.

* * *

The couple walked into the First Class section of the airplane heading to North America and earned a few curious glances but nothing of too concerning an interest. The man was strikingly dressed and exceedingly handsome. And while some of the less kinder of the passengers wondered what he was doing with a companion whom was overweight, some of the more open minded ones offered her appreciative glances.

Those glance confirmed that the dress that Donaka had chosen once again perfectly suited me.

As he motioned for me to take the seat by the window and then sat in the one beside me, I leaned over and whispered, "Are you sure that this was a good idea? First class and these clothing? Wouldn't something less conspicuous have been more safe?"

Mark peered at me, leaning closer and stating, "If staying off of Suen Jing-Si's radar means having to take coach and giving up my wardrobe, I'd rather still be lying dead in the morgue."

Still, despite his claim, the man's hand found mine after his brash statement and stayed there during take off and for our first few minutes in the sky.

We talked for a bit or stayed silent, comfortable doing either, no longer in a furnished prison but in the free sky. Eventually my love looked out the window and remarked casually, "There is one thing I will need to change once we reach Canada."

"What?" I questioned in alarm.

"My name," he replied with a small smile. "Do you mind?"

I gazed as him from over my shoulder and laughed before making a confession. "No...to be honest...I never know which is your first name and which is your last."

Grinning, Donaka ran his fingers tgrough my curls and kissed me on the cheek, not offering an answer to help with my confusion. Nuzzling his face against my skin, I moaned softly as he grabbed my face and turned it closer to him.

"How about, you choose a new one," he whispered directly into my ear and then bit my earlobe. "That way you'll have no trouble."

"Okay," I agreed, nodding my head once.

A few hours later, I had decided and told it to him. Donaka nodded now and then rose, grabbing my small, plump hand and pulling me towards the airplane's washroom.

"No, I can't," I stated, trying to pull away after guessing, somewhat, his intent.

"You can do anything," Mark argued, kissing me again. The stewardess preparing the food trolley behind him glanced at us and then away, knowing what we were planning but turning a blind eye. "You proved that on a slab in Hong Kong."

"That was you...all because of _you_ ," I said, grabbing his hand with my free one now too.

"You gave me this new life," he stated unfazed. "Now you will give me my new name. _Officially..._ I want you to scream it out when I make you come."

I squirmed in aroused shyness but soon the man was dragging us both into the unoccupied room.

The room was marked as "used" as the door was shut and Donaka Mark pushed me instantly up against the wall, using his knee to part my legs. I could feel it pleasantly resting on the tender underside there, while he busied himself with unbuttoning my blouse to reveal my bountiful cleavage, still bearing the cross imprint and hosting the jewelry that had left it. The former leader of SSA dipped his tongue into the crevice and licked it all the way up, making my nipples tingle and strain against my bra.

"You're going make me cream all over your knee," I warned him, rubbing my crotch against it.

"Hmmm...not exactly where I want it," he stated before clamping his teeth down on a large pale mound.

I breathed sharply, pressed harder up against the wall while I felt his knee leaving me to be replaced by his hand, tugging down my pair of red lace panties. They fell to my feet and I heard Donaka fiddling with his belt, unleashing the demanding part of him, which I gave a few strokes to, making him grunt. Forcefully, not wasting a second, the man thrusted inside of me and I stifled a cry of pleasure. I wrapped my legs around his middle, the man finding his rhythm effortlessly in spite of the cramped space and how we had only just begun our passionate act. The fact that we were so far above the earth came secondary to me, however: Donaka Mark being alive and inside of me would forever be the true miracle.

His head moved from my breasts to my lips and I reveled in each slide of his erection within my vaginal walls, now covering it in the fluid of my arousal, just as he had wished. He was once again hot and alive, pulsating with lust and love and life. My vagina was delighting in all three, never getting tired of holding captive the dick which had imprisoned me inside of a room inside of SSA for months.

"Oh Donaka," I moaned, feeling a deepening of pleasure as fingers pinched my nipples through my clothing and then went to using his mouth there too, making sure his spit soaked in through the fabric to reach them.

This didn't seem to satisfy him however, lost to my enjoyment oif him, Donaja Mark, unbuttoned my blouse completely, lifted the bra and took away the separating cloth. I cried out again feeling his lips on the areola and his tongue on the nip of a breast itself. He placed his hands against the wall to either side of me and continued his feeding and pounding with equal enthusiasm.

Tongue playing on me while cock played within the same playground it had been the first to enter, I was coming and I dug my fingers into his back as a warning of it.

At the moment the newly chosen name was leaving my lips, Donaka clamped his mouth on mine, consuming it in a show of taking it for himself. In my release, my lover found his own and I wept because it felt so damn good and over the fact, as well, that the name of Donaka Mark would only be found now engraved on a red and gold dragon box holding a stranger's ashes.

Donaka raised his head and looked into my eyes, deep within his rapture, and I knew from his humbled gaze that he was seeing only me again and not himself. Maybe that was when the hope of redemption had come to him...to anybody, I knew. The seeing of another human being as something other, something _more_ , than just the reflection of ourselves and our own needs and desires.

To love them for themselves instead of seeing only what we wanted of them.

He touched my cheek and then leaned in to where the caress had been given, kissing it lovingly. "This is the closest to heaven that I'll ever get," he confessed. "Amongst the clouds and inside of you."

I hugged the man tightly to me then, grateful for his words but praying for something more now too; fearing without him I could find little heaven anywhere else.

A knock came to the door, the demand to hurry up, and my lover did up the buttons on my blouse with his usual speed and skill. Soon we were sliding past a very confused man in his late sixties and walking back to our seats, a warm hand resting affectionately on my bottom. I was still being warmed by its owner's cum and love as I looked out the window at a blue sky containing white wisps of clouds.

Thinking of the new life we were about to share together, I finally asked about the scar on his stomach. When he only smiled but did not talk at first, I gazed out the window again and suspected that there were secrets that he intended to keep.

That I would never _know_ him as much as I desired.

"I got it in a motorcycle accident," he suddenly confessed and I turned to look at him in gratitude. "I nearly died," he added.

"You? Die?" I stated coyly.

He grinned his wicked grin. "Yes. But as I was lying there I made the most dangerous request, I ever could have."

"And what was that?" I asked.

"To know also as I am known," the man replied, touching my cheek and seeing only eyes instead of the reflection that they offered.

Then I knew something as well: the man once known as Donaka Mark might have once hidden a piece of his soul inside of me but it seemed I had entered him too on our painful journey of knowing and being known.

Of loving and being loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Keanu;
> 
> Yeah, I went there. 
> 
> I had that in mind for the final chapter since almost the beginning but I'm shocked I went through with it. 
> 
> And not shocked too.
> 
> Because I know myself and I'm aware that when it comes to telling a good story I am pretty well fearless.
> 
> It's outside of the story where the fears come in.
> 
> I hope this story would not offend you too much. MoTC is very much your baby and then I do this to it. But then, I don't know you, so I don't know what you would or wouldn't approve of.
> 
> I want to know you, Keanu, but, at the same time, I know that maybe that is hopeless. 
> 
> You don't know me.
> 
> I could be crazy for all you know. I can promise you that I'm not. I have some problems but nothing that would hurt anybody. But you don't know me. All you have is my words here and you have to be safe. 
> 
> And that is good. I want you to be safe. 
> 
> That is the most important thing to me, even more than these stories.
> 
> It's probably for the best anyway.
> 
> I'm perfectly aware and comfortable with my feelings. I accept them wholeheartedly and know them. And I know how to use a keypad, pencil or typewriter to convey them. 
> 
> It's my mouth that gives me trouble and my body. If you were standing there across from me...Could I use both how I wanted to?
> 
> No.
> 
> I couldn't live up to these notes.
> 
> I couldn't live up to these stories.
> 
> I'd just be some painfully shy, not very pretty woman whom wouldn't know what to say or do and if she tried to just fall back on any physicality even that would come up short because I have no experience.
> 
> But I do know I love you very much. Even past this shyness and this fear.
> 
> Much love,  
> Erin  
> XO XO  
> :D <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Dragon & Sheep](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29368005) by [MistyBeethoven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven)
  * [A Valentine for Keanu](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29453613) by [MistyBeethoven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven)




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